Spacing out kids

[Flynn]

Re: Spacing out kids

I think child personality should be pointed out. Children with fairly easy going natures that are 1 year apart can be easier than strong-willed children 4 years apart. I don't necessarily think it's the spacing but the individual personalities of children.

That's a really good point.

I think DD was SO young when DS was born -- it became "all she knew" very quickly. She NEVER resented or acted out on DS and she's very strong willed at times.

Of course it's important to point out I killed myself so she didn't have a moment's resentment towards DS...and I eventually paid the price of being completely exhausted.

I have a friend whose little girl pushed her buttons from a very YOUNG age which my daughter did only in small doses compared to this child.

Anyway, good point about child personalities...

Re: Spacing out kids

I think child personality should be pointed out. Children with fairly easy going natures that are 1 year apart can be easier than strong-willed children 4 years apart. I don't necessarily think it's the spacing but the individual personalities of children.

I agree. And between the lack of control we *truly* have over when this happens (sure, we can decide when to pull the goalie, but we've got little control over when we actually score!), and lack of control over their personality, I think it's all really a crapshoot. A glorious crapshoot that I'm thrilled to partake in, but a crapshoot nonetheless.

[Ladybug122]

Re: Spacing out kids

Thank you all for the advice!

I guess I hadn't thought about the child personality portion of it...luckily, my son is a pretty laid back, happy guy (unless he's overtired, of course ), so I think he will adjust well once a little brother or sister comes along. I am thinking that we will try for another (God-willing) somtime next year, which would put DS over 3 when the baby comes along. Until then, I'll just snuggle with all the newborns at my second job (I love being a maternity nurse!!), and get my "baby fix" that way for a while...

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Spacing out kids

I also agree with Sally's post. Before we started this year, I thought, no prob, we can probably have 1 more. But now Kate is in middle school, and we are adding the extra curriculars, and Steven and Izzy are in first grade, with all their homework I have to do, and then Luke started preschool, and so we have 3 totally different ages and stages. And it is really hard. With a newborn this would be my schedule:

10 pm: feeding
12 am: feeding #1
3 am: feeding #2
4 am: Mac leaves to work
6 am: feeding #3
630 am: get kids up
7 am: drive to bus stop to drop off Kate
730 am: get breakfast for all the kids, get them ready for school, pack their lunches
830 am: drive the kids to school, drive Luke to preschool
930 am: return home, do a feeding #4 to an overly exhausted screaming person
10 am: morning nap
1015 am: baby is screaming.
1030 am: give up on morning nap and do recreational nursing, not a feeding actually just a let me sit on the couch thing
11 am: drive to pick up Luke from preK
12 pm: feeding #5, while Luke is whining for lunch
1230 pm: Lunch for Luke
1 pm: try to put baby down to afternoon nap (nap #2 on NB schedue of 3 useless 20 minute naps)
130 pm: baby is screaming, but read to Luke for his "quiet time"
2 pm: Luke in quiet time
230 pm: feeding #6
3 pm: pick up kids from school. Pick Kate up from her bus stop UNLESS she has an after school activity, then I won't pick her up until an hour later...
345 pm: Get everyone snacks
4 pm: Start the homework marathon OR go to Daisies on Mondays OR go to pick Kate up from her after school bus...
5 pm: Feed the baby #7 OR leave for Soccer/Basketball practice for Kate
530 pm: Put baby down for afternoon "nap", feed the family
6 pm: Baby is screaming, get baby up from nap
630 pm: Start the bath for the kids, boys first, then girls OR take Steven to Scouts OR take Kate to Youth Group
645 pm: Feeding #8
715 pm: Put the baby down for the night
730 pm: Hopefully DH walks into the house, at which point he can finish reading to the twins while I read to Luke and put him to bed OR he can take Kate to DRAMA OR he can pick Kate up from Youth group
9 pm: Kate is home; and ready to chat, talk about the boys in her class, her friends. We check her homework, argue about internet usage, and then she goes to bed.
930 pm: Wake the baby up for feeding #9-- a charger feeding meant to get him or her to sleep through the night, at least for 3 hours!?? Please???

Of course, that's my schedule, and every day is not a soccer practice or a drama day or a scouts day, but the things I can guarantee are:

Mac won't be there for most of the stuff
Baby will have to wait for feedings and naps to be worked in around a busy enough schedule
I will be a zombie

Eventually the baby does take longer naps, and the feedings drop to 4-5 total by about 4 months or so. But surviving those months?

So, this isn't all about me I just want to encourage you to think about how many kids you guys want to have, and the different stages and ages you'll be dealing with. It's good to have a plan/idea ahead of time!

Good Luck!

[Meenah]

Re: Spacing out kids

I also come from a family of 6, I am number 5. My daughters are 20 months apart. I loved it and I hated it. They played well and fought well. Now they are beautiful young women and very close friends.

[MDPhDWife]

Re: Spacing out kids

I also agree with Sally's post. Before we started this year, I thought, no prob, we can probably have 1 more. But now Kate is in middle school, and we are adding the extra curriculars, and Steven and Izzy are in first grade, with all their homework I have to do, and then Luke started preschool, and so we have 3 totally different ages and stages. And it is really hard. With a newborn this would be my schedule:

10 pm: feeding
12 am: feeding #1
3 am: feeding #2
4 am: Mac leaves to work
6 am: feeding #3
630 am: get kids up
7 am: drive to bus stop to drop off Kate
730 am: get breakfast for all the kids, get them ready for school, pack their lunches
830 am: drive the kids to school, drive Luke to preschool
930 am: return home, do a feeding #4 to an overly exhausted screaming person
10 am: morning nap
1015 am: baby is screaming.
1030 am: give up on morning nap and do recreational nursing, not a feeding actually just a let me sit on the couch thing
11 am: drive to pick up Luke from preK
12 pm: feeding #5, while Luke is whining for lunch
1230 pm: Lunch for Luke
1 pm: try to put baby down to afternoon nap (nap #2 on NB schedue of 3 useless 20 minute naps)
130 pm: baby is screaming, but read to Luke for his "quiet time"
2 pm: Luke in quiet time
230 pm: feeding #6
3 pm: pick up kids from school. Pick Kate up from her bus stop UNLESS she has an after school activity, then I won't pick her up until an hour later...
345 pm: Get everyone snacks
4 pm: Start the homework marathon OR go to Daisies on Mondays OR go to pick Kate up from her after school bus...
5 pm: Feed the baby #7 OR leave for Soccer/Basketball practice for Kate
530 pm: Put baby down for afternoon "nap", feed the family
6 pm: Baby is screaming, get baby up from nap
630 pm: Start the bath for the kids, boys first, then girls OR take Steven to Scouts OR take Kate to Youth Group
645 pm: Feeding #8
715 pm: Put the baby down for the night
730 pm: Hopefully DH walks into the house, at which point he can finish reading to the twins while I read to Luke and put him to bed OR he can take Kate to DRAMA OR he can pick Kate up from Youth group
9 pm: Kate is home; and ready to chat, talk about the boys in her class, her friends. We check her homework, argue about internet usage, and then she goes to bed.
930 pm: Wake the baby up for feeding #9-- a charger feeding meant to get him or her to sleep through the night, at least for 3 hours!?? Please???

Of course, that's my schedule, and every day is not a soccer practice or a drama day or a scouts day, but the things I can guarantee are:

Mac won't be there for most of the stuff
Baby will have to wait for feedings and naps to be worked in around a busy enough schedule
I will be a zombie

Eventually the baby does take longer naps, and the feedings drop to 4-5 total by about 4 months or so. But surviving those months?

So, this isn't all about me I just want to encourage you to think about how many kids you guys want to have, and the different stages and ages you'll be dealing with. It's good to have a plan/idea ahead of time!

Good Luck!

Wow I am exhausted just reading that! Off to take a nap....

[Cumberland]

Re: Spacing out kids

Mine are 27months apart. We wanted #3 to come the same spacing but the personality thing got in the way plus the uncertainty of where we will be moving next year. DD2 can be a real wild woman and I just am not ready to have a third just before we move, or just after we move.DH is disappointed, he would have had us trying months ago. I am just now recovering from an exhausting, hard, mentally draining year adjusting to two kids.