Announcement

Collapse

Facebook Forum Migration

Our forums have migrated to Facebook. If you are already an iMSN forum member you will be grandfathered in.

To access the Call Room and Marriage Matters, head to: https://m.facebook.com/groups/400932...eferrer=search

You can find the health and fitness forums here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/133538...eferrer=search

Private parenting discussions are here: https://m.facebook.com/groups/382903...eferrer=search

We look forward to seeing you on Facebook!
See more
See less

awkward social situation #4132

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • #1

    awkward social situation #4132

    I went to a Halloween party with my SO on Saturday. I didn't plan very well, so I ended up looking like a gothic hooker butterfly... knee boots, sequin black dress, big fake eyelashes, sweater coat with fur on collar, plus- cheap purple butterfly wings, and broken antennas that I fixed with duct tape. In my defense, it looked better in my head and I didn't want to spend any money. My SO went as a dorky bug collector named Melbin. No offense to anyone named Melbin or to anyone who collects moths.

    This costume party was being hosted by some neurosurgery doc...This was a small intimate party in which everyone knew each other, plus me, and costumes there included "Twister girl" and a "swiss miss." No glitter, sequins, fur, or boots around.

    So I didn't know anyone and as SO started mingling, I poured myself a glass of wine and started the dreaded small talk with Twister Girl (board game) and Swiss Miss. We were talking about our costumes, and Swiss Miss asked me if I knew what her costume was. I said "Yeah, I knew you were something from Sweden!" Later, Board Game Girl and Pigtails made some snide remark about how "Yeah, Switzerland and Sweden- it's the same thing. It's all up there, you know...same general direction."

    Not only did I feel out of place but I also made myself sound dumb. I guess I feel like I need to prove that I have more to offer as a girlfriend. That I'm valuable and not like, some totally, like stoopid blond (hair flip). Not a big deal, because what really matters is what my SO thinks of me- not some strangers that I'll never see again. But I don't know...I don't want this to be an issue in the future. I need to snap out of it.

    And that's my story. SO shrugged it off, and I am too, but it's been irking me. I gotta get over it.

    Thanks for listening
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: awkward social situation #4132

    Aww! I ended up feeling dumb and out of place at most of Russ' med school functions. Now not as much, I think because I'm more used to it and I feel more confident about my role. Most of his med school classmates were very snobbish about the fact that they were in med school and I was sooo beneath them being a vet. Hang in there! Geography is so not my strong point either!
    Mom of 3, Veterinarian

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: awkward social situation #4132

      I had to laugh (not *at* you, I promise). I have a good friend whose family is Swiss, and very proud of it...and she gets that same Swiss/Swedish confusion *all the time* from people when she mentions it. A guy she was going out with said something about abba, even. The only reason I didn't say something similar to her when I first met her is because a friend of mine from way back actually moved to Switzerland years ago, and I've visited her there a few times.

      The comments from the other girls were just mean. Don't beat yourself up about it; they may not know it, but it really is a common mistake, and not a sign of stupidity. And, look at it this way - you will *never* make that same mistake again, will you?

      That said, this kind of situation has been one of the benefits of being so non-trad. I'm 10+ years older than most of DH's classmates, and have absolutely *nothing* to prove to any of them. And, thanks to this board, I know more about the process of med school/residency/etc. and the various specialties than most of them do, too!
      Sandy
      Wife of EM Attending, Web Programmer, mom to one older lady scaredy-cat and one sweet-but-dumb younger boy kitty

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: awkward social situation #4132

        Don't be hard on yourself....you made an accidental geographical mistake...they made a purposeful tacky and mean comment which completely shows their lack of grace, taste, humor, and kindness. I think they are the ones out of place if you ask me!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: awkward social situation #4132

          I learned clear back in medical school you can figure out pretty quickly who actually wants to be your friend and who just wants to pick on you. That was really rude of them and my suggestion would be to shrug it off and find someone else to chat with at the next event. You can't get away from the events but eventually you'll find someone you click with.
          Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: awkward social situation #4132

            Girl, I feel ya. I went to a party Saturday night and I went as St. Pauli Girl in THE SHORTEST SKIRT known to man with thigh high stockings and heels. Only one other girl was wearing something similar. The other girls wore things like the picture below. NO JOKE. We didn't stay long. I felt stupid at first but after a while I didn't really care. I was too tired.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: awkward social situation #4132

              Thank you, thank you. You each had a great point.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: awkward social situation #4132

                Don't even give it another thought!!

                For future reference, though, CONSERVATIVE is definitely the way to go at MD functions.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: awkward social situation #4132

                  Originally posted by TheFairQueen
                  Don't even give it another thought!!

                  For future reference, though, CONSERVATIVE is definitely the way to go at MD functions.

                  Ditto!
                  Flynn

                  Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

                  “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: awkward social situation #4132

                    Wow. What a rude comment, kare. Some people have no manners. I'm sorry the evening was such a bust.



                    kris
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: awkward social situation #4132

                      Originally posted by Ladybug
                      Do you honestly think she would have acted differently towards you if you had given her the right answer? Unlikely. I doubt geography was her motivating factor. I've found some women just suck. You can't win.
                      Haha, true.

                      You know, right after the incident, they both started talking about their schools (they are both teachers) and I just stood there because I was obviously being excluded. I had a napkin in my hand so I pretended to look for a trash can and left. I went to my SO and found other people to talk to.
                      They kinda sat by themselves, so I think they just had bad attitudes. SO was on call the next day so we left and I met up with my own friends and had a fun night.

                      I have to post my SO's costume... it was hilarious. I'll do that later!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: awkward social situation #4132

                        You didn't do anything wrong; those two were just being mean and caught up in their own world.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: awkward social situation #4132

                          Originally posted by Ladybug
                          Do you honestly think she would have acted differently towards you if you had given her the right answer? Unlikely. I doubt geography was her motivating factor. I've found some women just suck. You can't win.
                          I agree... Unfortunately, there are some people who seem to be driven to talk about others or belittle them. It says a lot more about them than it does about you. I'm sure that the costume was fun....After all...it IS halloween.

                          The issue is NOT yours to snap out of. Those aren't the kind of people that you need as friends....A real friend would have shown up and said "hey..so you're going for the gothic hooker butterfly this year, huh? Your butt looks so small in those wings."

                          kris
                          ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                          ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: awkward social situation #4132

                            Sounds to me like the green eyed monster came into play here. You're better off without 'em.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: awkward social situation #4132

                              Ugh, I love it when there's a freaking quiz.

                              (Two other countries not to mix up: Guyana and Ghana. They hate that. )
                              Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
                              Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

                              “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
                              ― Lev Grossman, The Magician King

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X