Please tell me I'm not the only one

Hello all -- I'm still a newbie and I haven't posted in awhile, so I hope no one minds a little bit of venting... this past month has been tough...

Please tell me I'm not the only one who...

...with a week left til payday, has had to start putting groceries and gas on the credit card because surprise expenses blew the budget out of the water that month

...has had relatives come to visit, been very happy to see them, but then proceeded to be supremely annoyed by them

...realizes that she has married her father, and when her father is visiting, notices how her father and her husband annoy her in the exact same ways, and having them both in the house at the same time makes her want to scream

...feels very guilty for being a raging bey*tch to the people she loves the most

...gets bloody sick and tired of cooking and cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping and etc. etc. etc.

...sometimes resents DH for being chronically sleep-deprived, even though it's not his fault at all

...wishes she could press the cosmic fast-forward button and make the first year of residency be OVER ALREADY

...is afraid she's the only one who's crazy, neurotic and unable to deal

But I'm sure I'm not the only one, right? Can I get a witness, pretty please?

:banghead:

[planet]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

:hey:

No, it is not just you.

[Flynn]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

Residency sucks. Get through it any way you can that seems healthy.

No, IT'S NOT YOU. It's "the life."


Try and give yourself little treats so you can see some sunshine once in a while. It can be a bubble bath with a good book or a long distance call to one of your BFF. Have things to look forward to and give yourself pats on the back for little things.

Hang in there.

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

Nope, definitely not just you. Hang in there!

[moonlight]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

I am sitting in shock right now because that is exactly how I've been feeling (off and on) for the past 2 years! My husband attends med school in the Caribbean and the first two years away from home just pushed me to the edge you’re talking about. Now that we are MS3 we are in the USA but living 2,000 miles from home. I've been so lucky to have family come and visit me where ever we are living. I just miss them to death, but when they get here all they do is drive me NUTS! The surgery rotation he is at now is nearly more difficult than any schedule I've heard anyone talk about so far. I think he is up to 130 hours a week, call every 3rd night, leaves post call around 7 PM. Oh and did I mention he isn't off for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? And he is on call T Day and x-mas eve? <sigh> Everything is getting very annoying these days!

What makes everything harder is that my best friends (and family) don't really understand all that we are going through. Hear lately I call my 2 best friends back home and just let them talk about the drama of their single lives. It's pitiful to say, but it's an escape for me to hear them talk about such silly things. It really gives me a moment to stop focusing on the stress in my life. Do you ever get so sick of it that you don't even have the energy to rehash the daily woes?? LOL! That's were I guess I'm at.

I hope the rest of his 1st year flies by quickly, and I hope that my dh matches in the easiest call schedule ever. LOL!! hahaha

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

The surgery rotation he is at now is nearly more difficult than any schedule I've heard anyone talk about so far. I think he is up to 130 hours a week, call every 3rd night, leaves post call around 7 PM. Oh and did I mention he isn't off for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? And he is on call T Day and x-mas eve? <sigh> Everything is getting very annoying these days!

Leaves post-call at 7 pm? Yikes! That's supposed to be illegal or something!

Oy, I'm dreading the surgery rotation. He's just finishing a q4 rotation this month, which is bad enough!

...Do you ever get so sick of it that you don't even have the energy to rehash the daily woes?? LOL! That's were I guess I'm at.

Haha, I haven't quite gotten there yet -- I'm still happy to whine about it at length! Guess I'll look forward to the day when complaining about it loses its charm!

Yeah, I hope your DH matches in derm or something cushy! (Actually I don't think anything's cushy during intern year... oh well...)

[v-girl]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

I so feel your pain. I quit my job because one of us had to be around to raise our children. I still feel overwhelmed. If he's on call on a weekend day, the kids and I have at least one meal at my mom's that day. Yes, I go running home to Mommie (she's only 3 miles from me) every chance I get.

I wish I could say it gets better. It is at least better than 3rd year I think. Though I guess since he was on call for our 10th anniversary and is on call for my birthday, maybe it isn't better. At least he got off for Halloween so he and I get to go to the school parties together and he gets to take the girls trick-or-treating while the baby and I give out candy!

Yeah, I know, that sounds pitiful. Scrubs Season 6 comes out tomorrow. The baby and I are hitting Target after we drop the girls off at school and DH and I will be having a Scrubs marathon when he gets off tomorrow. LOL

[houseelf]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

How did the voices in my head take form here on this board? Must get meds adjustment.

Anyway, within the span of thirty seconds I can go from "I'm sooo blessed" to "f*** this, I'm leaving". I live for my kids and yet my jaw has been hurting lately from having to grind my teeth so I curb screaming at them. Don't even get me started on finances. Nope. Not going to go there.


But in answer to your question, yes, amen, yes, uh huh, si, oui, Yeah, Ya, and you got it.

Kelly

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

Scrubs Season 6 comes out tomorrow. The baby and I are hitting Target after we drop the girls off at school and DH and I will be having a Scrubs marathon when he gets off tomorrow. LOL

I have become a Scrubs fanatic since we started residency! I never watched it before, but now I love watching the reruns that are on every night.

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

How did the voices in my head take form here on this board? Must get meds adjustment.

Anyway, within the span of thirty seconds I can go from "I'm sooo blessed" to "f*** this, I'm leaving". I live for my kids and yet my jaw has been hurting lately from having to grind my teeth so I curb screaming at them. Don't even get me started on finances. Nope. Not going to go there.


But in answer to your question, yes, amen, yes, uh huh, si, oui, Yeah, Ya, and you got it.

Kelly

Thank you! Yeah, I have that span-of-thirty-seconds-thing too -- I know that I'm extraordinarily lucky -- DH supports my musical pursuits 150%, where I'm sure most men would be expecting me to earn more money than I do. I suppose things would be easier in a way if I were working full time, except then we'd need a shovel to get through the piles of dirty laundry and debris that would build up in the house...

[DCJenn]

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

This is what I just posted in the parenting section:

The key thing to consider about residency programs?

They care about the residency program. Occasionally, we will have a member whose spouses residency program appears to be managed by something close to human. It's the exception, not the rule.

They go in when they're sick. They go in when you're sick. They go in when the kids are sick. They go in when the pets are sick. There are no vacations. (ok- there are vacations. They study during vacations, they interview during vacations. They do external rotations for 'face time' during vacations) Every single person here will be able to name w/out pausing the Top Ten Family Holidays/Events that have been missed by the resident.

(my cousin's wedding. My dad's 60th birthday party. My uncle's 90th birthday party. My grandmother's 90th birthday party. My brother's House-warming party. Our anniversary Years #1, #4 and #7. Most of his birthdays including his 40th.)

We have Uncle Sam jerking the chain for at least 5 more years and after the discussion w/ the financial planner (he did laugh, but w/ me not at me, thankfully) it might be better to have Uncle Sam jerk the chain a wee bit longer than that.

At least it's not residency and Uncle Sam, the two combined sucked arse.

Jenn

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

We have Uncle Sam jerking the chain for at least 5 more years and after the discussion w/ the financial planner (he did laugh, but w/ me not at me, thankfully) it might be better to have Uncle Sam jerk the chain a wee bit longer than that.

At least it's not residency and Uncle Sam, the two combined sucked arse.

Jenn

Financial planning --

Maybe someday we'll have some finances to plan!

Yeah, you do sort of have the worst of all possible worlds in terms of having next to no control over what happens in life, huh?

Here's the kicker for us -- DH is already planning for his fellowship/Ph.D. program. So much for making real dawkter pay after only 3 years... :funnycry:

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

Sshhh! Dont tell my DH there are fellowships after EM please! We are already in a 4 yr program, he's not getting any more!

You are so not alone...there are lots of houseguest venting posts around here too......

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

DH could do a fellowship - one that paid over $80K, that had awesome hours so I can have a life not dictated soley by medicine, and on that is in the town of my choice. So sure... he can do a fellowship, I just have a few kinks thrown in there



Thankfully DH doesn't want to do a fellowship right now, and thinks about sport medicine in the years to come when he wants a break from the ED (if that should ever really happen). He doesn't partically like the other EM fellowships out there. But my disclaimer before the match was if a fellowship was important he had better have it at the place we match or do it where we plant ourselves, I am NOT moving for a year. That's right, I'm a cranky ol ball n chain.

Re: Please tell me I'm not the only one

Virgomusic, you are NOT alone. I"m convinced residents are expected to not be married or have kids - how else could a person deal well with the demands and lack of pay, in a healthy fashion?