gift giving rules

Is it bad to get someone a gift without telling them you're giving them one?

I know it's not "bad" to give gifts without expecting anything back in return, but I worry that I'll put the other person in an awkward position and making them feel as though they should've gotten me something but did not. At the same time, I don't like telling people "Hey, what do you want?" or "I'm getting you something!" because I love surprising people, and although it would be nice to get something in return, I certainly do not expect it or need anything in return. Gift giving is really the way I show people I care.

I want to get my SO's roommate a towel set, because his are really old and bleached out. I think some nice, fresh, soft towels would be nice and he'd appreciate it, but I know the roommate wouldn't think of getting anything for me.

My sister says it's kind of weird, because I'm not close friends with him. I mean, we get along, and I see him all the time, and I definitely use his hand towel- perhaps a secret motivator to me buying him a new one.

Any thoughts? I'm going to bring this up to my SO later, but I wanted to know what you all thought.

Re: gift giving rules

Hmmnn...well a couple paragraphs in I thought you were going to ask about gifting in a public setting like work so I was waiting to read more about your relationship with that person and what you were planning on buying.

I think you know the answer to this question. You're really gifting yourself.

Your SO's roomie's ratty towels bother you. Hey, nothing wrong with that observation.

But, honestly, don't give the towels. If he's perceptive (at all), he'll know what's going down and it may embarrass him.

And if doesn't get it [that the ratty towels bug you], it'll be even more confusing to him.

I mean if you're going to gift him at all you probably know something small he'd like (a six pack of imported beer, homeade cookies -- yeah, I'm projecting here) and do that -- very minimal. Otherwise, nothing at all.

Re: gift giving rules

Wow you're right.

I mean, he's a guy. He eats pizza every night and his room is very minimal. He doesn't care about pretty towels. I do.

Can I at least get him a new hand towel? I don't think he's washed it once during this year.

I still would like to get him something small, to show him I care. He lives far from his family and his mom isn't doing so well. He doesn't drink... maybe I'll get him a cook book for men, since he attempts to make meals. I don't know now. I'll see what my SO says.

Thanks for the input Kevin. I like having a guy's point of view. You're absolutely right.

[Meenah]

Re: gift giving rules

Rachel Ray has a cute "Guy" cookbook. As far as the towels, just get some towels and contribute them to the apartment for everyone to use.

[Sheherezade]

Re: gift giving rules

He doesn't drink.....so un-"guy with scummy towels" of him. It's confusing.

I agree about donating the towels to the apartment (since you are there all the time) unless that's a touchy issue between the roomates. I'd check with SO before doing anything.

Re: gift giving rules

He doesn't drink.....so un-"guy with scummy towels" of him. It's confusing.

Whatever you do, don't buy him a luxuriant full-length, high-thread count robe. I'm thinking there would be lots of mixed messages conveyed.

Re: gift giving rules

Yeah, doesn't drink and apparently doesn't eat cookies, which I found out tonight from my SO.

Ok, I'm scrapping the towel set idea. :huh: Who knew guys wouldn't like a fluffy towel set?

I would've gotten community towels, but there's two bathrooms in the condo and each guy has his own bathroom. My SO has the master bed and connected bath, so the roommate's bathroom is more like the guest bathroom, but it's also his own. I'm not sure if I can put community towels in there. I'm putting way too much thought into this.

I'll figure something out for him, I'll keep it minimal, but i'm still not sure... Should I not get people gifts without mentioning something, because it might make them feel awkward for not reciprocating the gift? :huh:

[Meenah]

Re: gift giving rules

I think if it is a small, not very expensive, thiking of you, token gift, it is OK to say nothing.

[Vishenka69]

Re: gift giving rules

Any straight guy I know would be freaked out if I gave him towels regardless of our relationship. That's a weird gift for a guy. I think a gift card to a local beer or burger place is a good idea.

Re: gift giving rules

Any straight guy I know would be freaked out if I gave him towels regardless of our relationship. That's a weird gift for a guy. I think a gift card to a local beer or burger place is a good idea.

Ok ok ok. Towels were a bad idea. Got it.



I don't like giving gift cards really.
I'll keep brainstorming.

[DCJenn]

Re: gift giving rules

Give them a maid service for a day.

Jenn

[Stella]

Re: gift giving rules

How 'bout nothing? :huh:

That's what I'm getting for my SO's roommate.

[Vishenka69]

Re: gift giving rules

How 'bout nothing? :huh:

That's what I'm getting for my SO's roommate.

You could give him a slap on the back and a "promise not to have audible sex when you're home and awake" card.

I haven't had roommates for years but this does bring lots of memories back.

[Stella]

Re: gift giving rules

How 'bout nothing? :huh:

That's what I'm getting for my SO's roommate.

You could give him a slap on the back and a "promise not to have audible sex when you're home and awake" card.

He'd probably appreciate that more. :guilty:

Re: gift giving rules

Well whatever you do, don't give him towels! I think we've determined that gift's out!!!!

Yes, it's definitely out.

Instead I'm giving him that slap on the back and a courteous "I won't hook up with my bf TOO loudly when you're around. Actually, I'll just turn up the music so you can't hear it, really." That seems to be the most popular suggestion.



So I found this on uncommon goods... and I stopped myself. If I can't give him towels, I certainly can't give him soap. Can I.

http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?itemId=13111
I just thought it looked cool, that's all. And really, who doesn't like soap?! :huh: