Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, ALL!!!

DH and I have decided to start TTC right around the time he graduates! We're really excited!

Ever since he matched, though, everyone and their brother has been asking me, "What are you going to do in Texas?" I have a pretty good job now and could probably find something similar in TX, and I have been itching to go to grad school for awhile now, but all things considered, DH and I feel this is the right time to start a family. And, since I already know I want to SAH with our children, I don't even plan to look for a job when we move. I'm sure getting settled into our new house and (hopefully) getting ready for Baby will keep me plenty busy!

The only issue is that I don't feel ready to tell everyone about our plans to have a baby. It could take DH and me months to conceive, and I don't want everyone sticking their noses into our business if it does, plus I really don't feel like dealing with well-meaning but unsolicited advice for the next six months! I'd much rather wait until we're actually pregnant to break the news.

So, what should I say when asked about my plans for after the move? So far, I've just been copping out and saying that I'm not quite sure yet, but that's not going to work as this summer gets closer.

TIA!

[Meenah]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

You don't owe anyone an explanation. I think "I haven't decided yet" is an excellent answer. If people question you further just reply with "why do you ask?"!!!!

[v-girl]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

You can tell them the same thing I told my co-workers when I quit my job (they wanted to know if I had found another job and what I was going to do). I just gave a simple "I have worked for so long that I think I'll just take my time deciding my next step."

[DCJenn]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

You own no explanations at all.

If you think you need to say something though- you can say that you're going to take your time getting settled in a new town. Period.

Jenn

[Auspicious]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

The only issue is that I don't feel ready to tell everyone about our plans to have a baby. It could take DH and me months to conceive, and I don't want everyone sticking their noses into our business if it does, plus I really don't feel like dealing with well-meaning but unsolicited advice for the next six months! I'd much rather wait until we're actually pregnant to break the news.

Smart cookie!

I think you have to basically dodge the question, and I think everyone has good suggestions so far. I would say something like "first I'm going to get settled in to our new location and then I'm going to decide what to do about work." I think the key is to say it like they're just supposed to accept it--no hesitation.

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

The only issue is that I don't feel ready to tell everyone about our plans to have a baby. It could take DH and me months to conceive, and I don't want everyone sticking their noses into our business if it does, plus I really don't feel like dealing with well-meaning but unsolicited advice for the next six months! I'd much rather wait until we're actually pregnant to break the news.

Smart cookie!

I think you have to basically dodge the question, and I think everyone has good suggestions so far. I would say something like "first I'm going to get settled in to our new location and then I'm going to decide what to do about work." I think the key is to say it like they're just supposed to accept it--no hesitation.

Saying that you are going to work on getting settled in to your new location is reasonable. And reasonable if you weren't TTC, IMO.

The other thing that comes to mind is a line from A Fish Called Wanda -- tell those pigs to **** off. (Ok, I don't really mean that but it gets to the heart of people needing to take your explanation and not pry).

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

I agree, its no ones business that you're TTC and you're right it may take you a while, it may not. I think telling them you're just going to take some time to get settled and then decide is perfectly acceptable. IMO people are to nosy anyway.

[medpedspouse]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

I'd just say that you are planning to be a dawkter's wife and your plans are to stay at home, hang out by the pool, eat caviar, champagne with bon-bons and be available for impromptu lunches at the country club with "the ladies"

If you cannot say it with the straight face it requires, then I agree with what everyone else said.

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

I'd just say that you are planning to be a dawkter's wife and your plans are to stay at home, hang out by the pool, eat caviar, champagne with bon-bons and be available for impromptu lunches at the country club with "the ladies"

ITA!
I mean really, isn't that what everyone will expect anyway?

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

I'd just say that you are planning to be a dawkter's wife and your plans are to stay at home, hang out by the pool, eat caviar, champagne with bon-bons and be available for impromptu lunches at the country club with "the ladies"

If you cannot say it with the straight face it requires, then I agree with what everyone else said.

:>

Dahling, are we living the same life? :>

Kris

[moonlight]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

I am facing my 4th big relocation since we started med school 2.5 years ago. Each and every time we move everyone asks me what I’m going to do with myself when I get there. At this point I’ve come to the conclusion that people are basically being nice by trying to show interest in what I’m going to do. This is NOT to be confused with actually caring and worrying about what you are doing with yourself in your new digs. I had to go through the same thing with all the questions!! With each move I never know what to say. At this point I realize people are just being curious and polite in the moment by asking about me since its obvious about DH’s plans. I haven’t had anyone call me up a month after living at a new place demanding to know what I’m doing with my time. Hahaha!

That said, your closest family and friends will be on you like white on rice girl. There will be NO fooling them! They are going to know the minute you start talking that something is up and that you are not acting like your normal self. On the other hand your best friends and closest family might be the only ones you care to tell about the plan. It’s all going to work out great. Good luck with your move and good luck with all that baby business!!

[houseelf]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

Moonlight wrote:

I am facing my 4th big relocation since we started med school 2.5 years ago. Each and every time we move everyone asks me what I’m going to do with myself when I get there. At this point I’ve come to the conclusion that people are basically being nice by trying to show interest in what I’m going to do. This is NOT to be confused with actually caring and worrying about what you are doing with yourself in your new digs. I had to go through the same thing with all the questions!! With each move I never know what to say. At this point I realize people are just being curious and polite in the moment by asking about me since its obvious about DH’s plans. I haven’t had anyone call me up a month after living at a new place demanding to know what I’m doing with my time. Hahaha!

ITA, delivery is EVERYTHING. If you sound unsure of your choice, it will invite input. I speak from experience.

Kelly

[moonlight]

Re: Plannig to SAH...What Do I Tell Everyone?

Moonlight wrote:

I am facing my 4th big relocation since we started med school 2.5 years ago. Each and every time we move everyone asks me what I’m going to do with myself when I get there. At this point I’ve come to the conclusion that people are basically being nice by trying to show interest in what I’m going to do. This is NOT to be confused with actually caring and worrying about what you are doing with yourself in your new digs. I had to go through the same thing with all the questions!! With each move I never know what to say. At this point I realize people are just being curious and polite in the moment by asking about me since its obvious about DH’s plans. I haven’t had anyone call me up a month after living at a new place demanding to know what I’m doing with my time. Hahaha!

ITA, delivery is EVERYTHING. If you sound unsure of your choice, it will invite input. I speak from experience.

Kelly

I just don't understand why some people are so freaked out when I answer all those questions with "I don't know" Sometimes in life I just don't know and that should be good enough!