Last Will and Testament

I feel like this has been discussed before. Sorry if it's a repeat.

We're looking into getting this finally taken care of. What is the process like? Any experience, advice would be helpful.

From my understanding, a *Will Package* should cover the following:
1) Will (who gets the kids...)
2) Personal property list (who inherits the diamonds, furs, priceless art... )
3) Financial power of attorney
4) Medical power of attorney
5) Living will (coma, brain death...)
6) Funeral instructions

I've shopped around and the attorney fees are all over the place, anywhere from $350 to $1,000. Some charge by the hour, some by the package deal.

And probably our biggest challenge is finding someone to be the boys' godparents. There are no immediate family members we would even consider. I guess our best and only choice is a couple we met when we moved here, they've become pretty good friends and they love the boys. Has anyone else gone through finding godparents when there are none to be found?

I'm absolutely hating this process.
help

Re: Last Will and Testament

My understanding is similar to yours. I don't know if you have to have the "who gets what" part unless you think there are things people will fight over. I think you can have more vague instructions (children pick one item in reverse birth order, repeat, or something like that). Same for the funeral instructions?

re: guardians. We also did not ask a family member. After my parents divorced, we did a will because I was concerned about what could happen in the unlikely event that we both died. We asked a friend who has known both of us for a long time and whose judgement we respect. FWIW, we named her only (and not her husband) as guardian. In case they ever split up, I would want my kids to be with her.

I hate it too. You have to think through all these very unlikely possibilities but at the same time take them seriously and consider how things would pan out. Blech. I felt better after we were done. Now that we have moved to and settled in another state and have some minor changes that have been nagging me, we need to update.

[migirl]

Re: Last Will and Testament

Crap, I just lost my whole post.

Anyway, we just did a basic will a few months ago when we took a trip without DS ... just in case. Our assets aren't complicated (mainly b/c we don't have much ) and designating guardianship for DS was the primary concern for us, so I just went w/ an online legal service (LawDepot.com, I think) and did one of the basic fill-in-the-blank deals.

I agree w/ Nellie, there's no need to designate specific items to leave to specific people if you don't want to. We didn't.

We didn't have too much trouble deciding on guardianship, but I can imagine how hard it would be if there's no obvious choice. And Nellie's point about naming one person in a couple is a good one too.

It's a hard process, but I felt a lot better once we had it done.

ETA: Here is a post that I'd written two years ago about this exact topic.
viewtopic.php?f=28&t=7421

Good thing I got right on that...

Re: Last Will and Testament

We asked a friend who has known both of us for a long time and whose judgement we respect. FWIW, we named her only (and not her husband) as guardian. In case they ever split up, I would want my kids to be with her.

OMG, I didn't think about the guardians splitting up. We need them both, they balance each other out.


A more personal question: how did you (or did you) discuss financial arrangements with her when you asked if she'd be the guardian? ie your life insurance policies, assets, etc? I feel like I want to avoid this topic altogether.

Re: Last Will and Testament

ETA: Here is a post that I'd written two years ago about this exact topic.
viewtopic.php?f=28&t=7421

Good thing I got right on that...

That makes me feel better...

Thanks for the link. It sounds like we're pointed in the right direction, at least.

[DCJenn]

Re: Last Will and Testament

We had to do our wills prior to deployment, except that I never went back to get mine and they trashed it after six months.

We named my brother and SIL as guardians (w/ the caveat that dude goes to my brother in case they split).

We left any assets to him to be held in trust until he's 18. (I was bucking for 25 but Rick told me I was mean)

Jenn

Re: Last Will and Testament

We left any assets to him to be held in trust until he's 18. (I was bucking for 25 but Rick told me I was mean)
Jenn

That's another issue; I'm wondering if an 18 year old getting a chunk of change is going to adversely affect his life choices.

I'm thinking that at 18 the only $ the boys should see for a while is a college fund...

[Rapunzel]

Re: Last Will and Testament

You can have the funds placed in trust and allow for withdrawals for educational expenses with the designated trustee determining what is a worthy educational expense. Dh's grandmother did it that way for her grandkids. The trusts could be touched for educational expenses only until the age of 25 when they would each receive whatever was left in the trust.

Re: Last Will and Testament

I can't recall exactly what we did. Since I want to update, I guess I should go check. Roughly, I know that we set up a trust allowing for withdrawal of educational (college expenses) with a gift upon graduation. I *think* that gift was stated as something like $1,000 or 3% of assets (more than $1k but I don't remember). I figured that I wanted my kids to start with some help that I will hopefully give them if I am around (moving for a job, graduate school, etc). Again, just from memory, I think there was an opportunity for disbursement at 25 and then termination of trust at 30 years. I guess I am super mean.

Regarding telling the guardian about assets. I mostly wanted to let her know that she would not be financially responsible for my kids -- that she would have assets available to care for them in the way she would like and we would like.

This is another thing I have to check. I'm pretty sure that she is the personal representative for us. After having done that for FIL (or having DH do it), I am thinking that shouldn't be the guardian as well because it is such a **** job. But that was just our experience with and probably had as much to do with FIL's lawyer and will as much as anything. Still, she would have to sell our house, deal with our belongs, etc, etc, etc and that might be a lot with 3 kids.

(oy, I hate thinking about this stuff)

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Last Will and Testament

On the age thing, DH's educational trust was for educational expenses only until he was 30. I think that is a very good age because the person is then forced to get a job and make a name for themself before they can touch it. If we are able to do something similar for our child we will use the same age.