Any residency wives out there?

[DCJenn]

Hi-

There are at least a couple surgery residency spouses here so you've come to the right place. My husband is a peds resident and I therefore have the utmost respect for you guys!

Welcome aboard.

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

hi

Welcome to the group, lunatic !

There are people here in the group at all stages in the training process! We have several surgical spouses here..as well as spouses in other specialties.

My dh recently finished a rather malignant fellowship....but I'm sure that nothing can compare to surgery...and more specifically, neurosurgery!

We're here for support 24/7! How many years do you guys have left? Do you have kids? Are you working? 8)

Kris

[houseelf]

Hello comrade in arms!

I'm Kelly, wife of a PGY3 general surgery resident with 4 more years of residency to go after this year (2 clinical and 2 research years). After this bonanza, we get to move to a new city and do a pediatric surgical fellowship for 2 years if I'm unable to convince my hubby to "just be a general surgeon". (The nerve of me!)

Yes, residency can be one long grueling haul for the best of marriages. We are here for you.

Kelly

[houseelf]

My heart goes out to you. I describe residency a lot like a marathon: Any one day/mile is not that bad, but it is the long haul that just wears you down. While I only have one child and I am super cognizant that we all have our own variables to deal with, I have felt some of the same frustration/depression/hope that you have. It is such a hard way to go.
On my better days, I will tell you that I'm basically happy with my life. My hubby and I really love each other, we have an amazing kid, and we have some very positive things happening in our life. However, if the grind is getting to me, I will bend your ear ad infinitum with the inequities of this system, the lack of family or community support, and the financial drain. I guess this is my weak attempt to offer of some sort of validation. I've been there too.

I'm sending out a big hug to you and hoping that you all get a break soon. Is an easier rotation or vacation coming up soon?

Kelly

it is a challenge to get through these crazy years...my husband is a third year medicine resident starting an ID fellowship in July. Even though his schedule is often crazy and I'm alone a lot I know surgery is much more demanding. But hey -- you are almost there --only 2.5 years to go. You can do it! It's total true -- there are good days and bad days, the good are really good and the bad are just terrible. I'm not sure about an affair but a long talk with your husband after going to get a massage or facial might help. Good luck and come post often -- it helps me tremendously!

[PrincessFiona]

ID

Does he know where he's going yet? My dh finished ID last year...

Kris

[DCJenn]

lunatic-

where are you- because I'd bet there's oneof us not too far away!

Jenn

[houseelf]

Lunatic--


I LOVE your name! I keep on thinking of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably numb"..."the lunatic is inside my head" Ha Ha Ha!

Kelly

Hi lunatic-

Welcome! My bf is a first-year med student...so we've just begun our journey and although it hasn't been that long, I've already had some really bad days...and some really great ones too! I noticed that it says that you're in Philly! I am too! How do you like it here? Are you from this area? I was born and raised in Ohio, but went to college here and have lived here ever since.

Looking forward to hearing more from you...hang in there.
Sharon

i am in DC...sort of close...i wondered if i could ask you about portland, me? we are thinking of moving there after fellowship. what did you like/dislike? we can chat off-board on this...i will send you a note...i would love to hear your input! thanks! --jill

I borrowed some books recently from the public library ... one was titled "Doctors and Doctors Wives" and the other was "Doctors and their wives" I believe and the last one was "This ain't ER" ... Lunatic you should really read the last one ... it is about a gentleman who becomes a cardiothoracic surgeon and tells his story from med school through completion ... I think other than neurosurgery that it about the longest stint in school ... the author commented that he spent 30 years in school (12 years for school thru 12th, 4 for his BS , 4 for med school, 7 for general surgery residency plus research, 3 fellowship in cardiothoracic) ... ugh.

The other books about the wives and all are a little older ... and scarey ... looks like things have totally improved as in one of the books the docs and their families lived in "housing" next door to the hospital for the duration of the residency. UGH.

Anyway, just thought that make for some fun reading for you all

Aisha