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Holding on to the past??

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  • Holding on to the past??

    So I have a moving/technical question for those of you who have more life experience than I do.

    In moving, I've uncovered a whole bunch of letters, photographs, etc. from my ex-BF who I dated for almost 4 years. We had a terrible break-up and don't speak anymore (should have listened when I said DON'T propose...) so it's not like I'd keep this stuff out of sentimental value but I hate throwing away photographs. His mother is a professional photographer and she took some truly stunning shots. So the question is, do I keep this stuff?

    My thoughts:
    1) Photographs with college friends get kept, especially if they're not lovey-dovey
    2) Old letters get tossed
    3) Pictures of the two of us get tossed

    What does everyone think? I really just hate to throw away beautiful photos but then I realize I could never display them or anything so what's the point but I don't want to regret not having them for any reason I haven't considered?

    Oh and one last question, should I/can I keep photographs his mother took of just me? She did a series (and won a prize) at a local art show with photographs of me. She projected her own architectural photos on my nude back with my spine as leaves, building edges, etc. (it sounds weird but it was very tasteful, you can't see my face or anything you can't see in a very modest bathing suit). These I especially hate to throw away because they seem like ART. I'm leaning toward keeping those.

    Thanks guys, always nice to know I can ask you stuff and get an unbiased opinion.
    Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
    Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

  • #2
    Re: Holding on to the past??

    Keep the photographs for now. Don't make a rash decision. Who knows what will happen in the future. Maybe you'll at least be on speaking terms, and you'll be glad you kept photographs of you and an old friend.
    married to an anesthesia attending

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    • #3
      Re: Holding on to the past??

      I think your plan is spot on. Keep the ones of just you that your ex's mom took and the ones of old college pals. I'd toss the rest.

      I got rid of my wedding album from my first marriage and I recently regretted it when my 7 year old DD asked me for photos of when her dad and I were married. She was only 6 months old when we divorced, so she has no memory of us ever being together or even saying more than a couple words to each other while she's around. It's actually pretty sad now that I think about it. So if you had children together, I think that would be an exception. I now wish I had kept the old wedding album to give to her.
      Charlene~Married to an attending Ophtho Mudphud and Mom to 2 daughters

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      • #4
        Re: Holding on to the past??

        Well it's interesting you bring up children (I do not have any) but I imagined my kids finding pictures of me hugging someone else in 20 years and finding it hard to explain why I kept them. I won't keep other relationships a secret obviously but yeah, I think I'm going to throw them away.

        Thanks for the advice!
        Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
        Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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        • #5
          Re: Holding on to the past??

          I'd keep the art ones (in a box) but not the ones of the two of you.

          This came up with us when we moved, too. An old boyfriend gave me some paintings he had done. I came across them and set them aside to see if I could relocate him and return the paintings. DH normally isn't a jealous person at all, so I was very surprised at how many times he brought up those paintings, usually adding some sarcastic comment.

          I haven't thrown the paintings away yet... not sure what to do, since I had no idea it would be a big deal to DH, and it sure isn't that big of a deal to me.

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          • #6
            Re: Holding on to the past??

            I'd probably scan them and save them on a hard drive somewhere; nothing physical to be kept or thrown away, that way, just bits that you can hide in a buried folder somewhere and not have to think about, but can find again if you ever decide you really want them. :huh:
            Sandy
            Wife of EM Attending, Web Programmer, mom to one older lady scaredy-cat and one sweet-but-dumb younger boy kitty

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