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Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

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  • Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

    We're going to dinner at the house of another doc from DH's hospital. I've met them once at last years holiday party. I was totally counting on DH coming home from work and have planned his outfit. He decided to dress himself this morning (while I was sleeping) and doesn't want to come home and change. I have no idea what he's wearing. He couldn't coherently describe it over the phone and refuses to send me a picture. Sometimes he's ok at putting together a decent outfit but most of the time he has no idea what goes together.

    I'm basically making a first impression here and although I don't care that much, I would like it to be good. How much will his outfit reflect on me? I'm really freaking out that he will look like an idiot and they will think I'm incompetent at making sure my husband leave the house looking decent.

    Am I blowing this out of proportion?

  • #2
    Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

    Yes, you are.

    Was that blunt?

    I once went to an anesthesia party with dh and there was a guy wearing a shirt with drawings of naked ladies all over it. That's where I'd draw the line.

    As long as your husband doesn't own something obscene like this, it'll be ok!!! Really!!!
    married to an anesthesia attending

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    • #3
      Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

      I guess it depends on what the hosts are like and if they would even notice or care if his outfit matched. :huh:
      I know I wouldn't.

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      • #4
        Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

        You represent only you. If he looks like a schlub, it's all on him.

        J.

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        • #5
          Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

          Originally posted by DCJenn
          You represent only you. If he looks like a schlub, it's all on him.

          J.
          I totally agree.

          DH knows when he cares about what he looks like he needs to wear something I GAVE him (or my parents). He only gets compliments on those items. Everything else is out of my hands.
          Flynn

          Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

          “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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          • #6
            Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

            Yes. In fact, if it truly is hideous you can mock him for his ineptitude. Really, though, no big deal. I doubt that anyone in PA cares as much about what your dh is wearing as you do, or even remotely close.
            Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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            • #7
              Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

              Originally posted by Vanquisher
              I doubt that anyone in PA cares as much about what your dh is wearing as you do, or even remotely close.
              After living in PA for 8 years, I definitely think there is some truth to this! Perhaps it even rubbed off Dh and I, because we could care less what others wear unless is really stands out, like naked ladies on a shirt!

              ETA: it wasn't a tie, it was a shirt.
              Wife of Ophthalmologist and Mom to my daughter and two boys.

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              • #8
                Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

                Uh, yeah. They already know him, right? So if he dresses like a dweeb, that won't be news to them.

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                • #9
                  Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

                  I have to admit, I try to match our family (or not clash) for some of our department parties. Go ahead and make fun of me - I can take it!

                  But if DH had already left for work in something he chose, I might say, "Would you like me to bring you a change of clothes?" But I definitely wouldn't push a new set of clothes on him.

                  DH has dressed like a "dweeb" on occasion (and honestly, so have I), but I figure - who cares? I still love him.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

                    I just want an update--- what did he wear? How did it go???

                    you certainly can make suggestions... For me, I gave up a looooong time ago in trying to dress my DH. He doesn't care, and doesn't like my input either. Hmmmph. I just purge his closet every few months and throw out the more offensive of the clothes... I'm actually glad he has to wear a uniform most of the time, or scrubs, because otherwise? :huh: For him fancy is the Hawaiin shirt I bought him, while in Hawaii. He wears that all.the.time.
                    Peggy

                    Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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                    • #11
                      Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

                      Well I've been buying ALL his clothes for about 10 years and I try to stay in the same neutral family, so he can grab any top and bottom and it will more or less go. But I'm glad he decided to come home and let me change him after all. Yeah, I made him change both top and bottom. Yeah, the other couple ended up being more casual but if I know I look good, I can relax and enjoy myself. Otherwise I keep thinking about it and can't move on. Shallow, perhaps, but I can't help it.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

                        Originally posted by *Lily*
                        I wish his parents would stop buying 2XL t-shirts with pictures of fish on them. I mean really.
                        My ILs bought DH an XL fishing vest. He has never ever fished or expressed interest in it. :huh:

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                        • #13
                          Re: Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

                          I totally understand how you feel. I would have been irked if he kept turning me down like that. Before me, he wore pleated pants (aaaack!). Now there are only flat front pants in his closet. I know what I am doing.

                          If he looks really doofy, I would let everyone (casually) know how he got up before you and came straight from work. :P
                          Event coordinator, wife and therapist to a peds attending

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