Maybe this belongs in Debates...

[GrayMatterWife]

since it involves politics...not sure...

OK, so John Edwards has now admitted the affair, but says that he is not the father of the child (not due to a paternity test, but based on his recollection of the timing of the affair). In publicly commenting on the scandal, he made a point of saying that he didn't love the other woman.

Why would you say something like this? Even if it is true? It doesn't make it any more excusable, and I can't imagine that it suggests that it causes any less pain to his wife. It sounds especially cruel to me, since it is well-known that his wife was undergoing cancer treatment at the time of the affair. It sounds like the guy couldn't control himself while his wife was facing down terminal cancer. I would be crushed as a spouse to discover that my inability to satisfy him due to my illness and the physical drains of treatment are now being used as an excuse for his betrayal. Maybe the two facts (his affair and her illness) aren't actually related, and the affair was coincidental to her illness, but gosh, you'd have to think that's what comes to mind to the public in hearing the confession.

I am not sure he played his hand right here. If you want to admit the affair (finally), OK. At least you can stop lying. But why qualify it? Why comment on it at all, past admitting it?

It makes Spitzer's handling of his (criminal!) indiscretion look positively admirable.

[DCJenn]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Because the shitbird cheated on his sick wife and wants everyone to think that it was just a physical thing because he didn't love her.

What-ever. I hope Elizabeth kicks him to the curb.

Jenn

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

I hope Elizabeth kicks him to the curb.

Jenn

Literally. The curb of their mansion. As she sits inside and contacts NC's very best divorce attorneys.

She must feel so shattered and alone. Alone with her illness. Alone with her kids. Alone with her embarrassment. I hope she is surrounded by lots of supportive friends and family.

[JaneDoe]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

For some reason, I still shake my head in disbelief at these stories. How stupid are these men. (I say men because I can't recall off the top of my head a female politician admitting to an affair while married). When you are as politically ambitious as Edwards was campaigning for the presidency how can you justify in your own mind an extra-marital affair, especially post-Clinton? You will get caught! What an arrogant, stupid, scum bag.

[alison]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

From what I understand, the thing that started the whole unraveling of the story is whether or not he is the father of this particular child. So maybe to answer the question that everyone wanted to know, he felt he still had to spill the beans about the affair.

[Sheherezade]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Obviously, .

That said, I think as the sick wife it would be good to hear publicly that he "didn't love her". Sucks for the other woman, of course....but that's maybe why as the wife you'd like to hear your hubby humiliate her a bit and not just you. I think in the Spitzer case, the fact that the other woman was a prostitute made it obvious that it was just a physical thing. In the case of an affair with a coworker, it could be lurve. How much would that suck? You're dieing, he's screwing around and, oh, by the way, she's just all that!! Shoot me now.

Still, it is a sad situation for Elizabeth and one she doesn't deserve. I wonder if she will divorce him now. What a crappy way to spend the limited time you have left. I'm still thinking her prognosis is poor; if it isn't, I'd say kick him to the curb HARD.

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Wow, I didn't even know about this until I saw this thread. I agree, I hope Elizabeth kicks him to the curb.

Julia, I have to ask. How do you work for someone who makes his name prosecuting doctors (some rightfully, others not so much!) when you're married to one? Or one to be? I'm really curious, we have some friends, he's in anesthesia and she sues doctors - always an interesting combination to me.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Actually, now that the story is getting more fleshed out, I have less respect for BOTH of them. The original story--that she had been diagnosed with terminal cancer by the time the affair began--now appears to be wrong. She was in remission from her first bout with the cancer at the time of the affair. (Not that this makes it excusable, but at least it removes the whole "I just had to turn somewhere, since my sick wife couldn't meet my needs" implied undercurrent--whether that was valid or not).

She apparently has known about the affair for a while.

So, I guess she was OK with her husband publicly lying about it, since he's being doing that for ten months. I am not sure I have much respect for that. I can understand standing by a truly repetenant husband. But I am not sure I can understand standing by a man who--while maybe privately repetenant--does not to the correct thing publicly. Either say nothing or tell the truth. But don't lie. And don't ask your wife to stand by you in a lie. And don't stand by a liar--you were already lied to by your husband. Don't turn around and perpetuate the lie.

Whatever. The whole thing is sad. The lack of moral clarity and the compounding nature of the problem. This can't be good for her health--all this stress.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

I'm so incredibly disappointed by all of this.

I can understand. I worked for someone who I deeply admired and was disappointed by that person in a serious way. It can be so demoralizing. It is important to remember that everyone, no matter how good a person or well-intentioned, can let you down. Don't let a compartmentalized flaw erase everything you think is worthy of being admired.

I wouldn't want to be remembered only by my worst moment.

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Oh I don't think our legal system is inherently evil either and there are definitely doctors out there that have no business practicing and should be sued. But I beleive we have at least one member here who has been sued by Edwards in a case that was unnecessary. Just an interesting dynamic IMO.

[Vanquisher]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

John Edwards is the most evil, vile, scum sucking, leach of the earth.

He is a politician. Barf.

He is a lawyer who uses his degree to sue doctors because he is a money grubbing A-hole. Barf.

He cheats on his sick wife (in remission or not, don't care). BARF!!!

I hope his testicles fall off.

I feel truly awful for Elizabeth Edwards. She married the wrong man. Oh, and trying to stand by your husband in the face of a highly public figure and trying to be dignified is how she chose to handle it. That does not make her wrong in any way. She may have been trying to save her marriage. Who knows all her reasons, but lets not villify her for not making him go public earlier.

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Ummnn...I confess I didn't read the entire thread. But old-timers know the special place I have in my heart (hate that is) of Johnboy. Couldn't have happened (or made it happen) by a worse person. I do feel sorry for Elizabeth. All of his talk about the anniversary "dinners" at Wendy's just like the commonfolk and what not. All of his demagoguery and canned sweetness should've been a head's up that he was a phony doing such dirty deeds (at least for the cynical among us).

Guess he's not "baby daddy" though?

No, I didn't edit this and I won't reply, but I seriously do feel bad for Elizabeth. If nothing else, she was his biggest cheerleader. Even if it was pure ambition on her part, she must feel like such a fool and she's sick at the same time.

And I feel sorry for his kids.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

I detest Edwards, but at least he said something in his Johnny-come-lately confession that rings sincere and self-insightful (two adjectives I never think of applied to him):

"In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic. If you want to beat me up feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."

At least there's some attempt to acknowledge the psychological motivation behind the affair. He's not excusing his behavior by being gay (Greavy) or pointlessly splitting hairs regarding verbs and what constitutes sex to deny infidelity (Clinton). He just should have said this ten months ago and not compounded the shame by lying.

Although I am deeply puzzled as to how he thought this would never come up, if he had gotten the nomination...

**As an aside, had I been him, I might have chosen different words than "stripped bare"...seems like those were probably a poor choice for imagery, given the situation...

[Phoebe]

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

Re: Maybe this belongs in Debates...

For some reason, I still shake my head in disbelief at these stories. How stupid are these men. (I say men because I can't recall off the top of my head a female politician admitting to an affair while married). When you are as politically ambitious as Edwards was campaigning for the presidency how can you justify in your own mind an extra-marital affair, especially post-Clinton? You will get caught! What an arrogant, stupid, scum bag.

ITA!!!!!!!!!!

jackass