Christmas "Lite"

[DCJenn]

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but we have seriously cut back this year. We eliminated his siblings (mostly because 1) they all have families that they need to be concentrating on and 2) they don't know us very well and we don't need more knick-knacks), my brother and I have a homemade only deal (we made vinegars and oils for gifts for them and as thank you's for any parties we might be invited to over the holidays), and have cut back on gifts to each other.

My parents only want 'things that can be consumed' like tickets, wine, etc. because they are going to be moving within the next year and don't need anything, either. We sent a gift basket of candies and goodies to his parents and a few books. C'est tout! I ordered our 'tree' from 1-800-Flowers (a table top arrangement that looks like a mini tree).

I just spoke with my mom- she's found a cache of Christmas cards from the last 30 odd years- she's saved one of each and is sending the rest- She's really in a funk this year, too. (turning 60 1/4/03 is not helping- but she has no idea we're all planning on surprising her in NYC that weekend!)

Somehow, I think everyone put a big effort in to making things special after 9/11. This year, with the Iraq thing, plus all of the other stuff has me in kind of a wierd place.

Oh well, what about all of you?

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

cheap, cheap, cheap

Well..we are being cheap this year.....as usual. Thomas and I have a $35 limit on gifts for each other (makes life interesting..but it's amazing what you can find when you look hard enough!)

It will definately be a 'lite' x-mas...thank goodness for grandparents...they've all ordered from amazon.com and have already had the stuff sent...so we'll just get a few small gifts for the kids on our own and be done with it.....

Today Andrew said to me: "Mom, I don't care if I don't get any presents this year (of course he's already seen the boxes we've gotten ) you are the best present...and I just want to be with you"

OK..he's buttering me up...but it takes me back to what the holidays are about...being together as a family.....

Kris

[SueC]

We are definitely cutting back this year, but it is solely because of finances. Lately we have just been scraping by and I think the toll of me not having income for a year has caught up with us. I feel a little guilty for putting us in this position and my husband feels really guilty because he promised to moonlight and still hasn't even filled out the paperwork yet. So, we are both kind of bummed these days. I hate feeling this way during my favorite time of the year---especially since this is the first year that both of the girls are old enough to enjoy Christmas. Also, it seems really wrong to let finances bring me down so much since that is so contrary to the whole meaning of Christmas!!! Sorry to sound so negative--Just call me Eeyore (is that how you spell it). I guess I should use this experience to reflect on the true meaning of the holiday and to focus on the simple pleasures, instead of being sad that I can't go to the mall and spend a bunch of money.

[Phoebe]

We definitely cut back from years past. Last year we put everything on our credit card for Xmas. Big mistake. We vowed to not use them at all this year. Both of our families go all out for Christmas and it is difficult for us that we can't reciprocate. Even though our families understand, it still feels awkward. My husband has moonlighted some to help pay for gifts, but he didn't get paid so we are stuck at this point. The one thing we did for this year was to get family portraits taken and I found inexpensive frames to give to family. Grandparents like that stuff. Hopefully our siblings will have the same appreciation!

In addition to our lack of finances, this year feels strange and almost lacking some spirit of the holidays. I attribute my preoccupation to all the traveling my husband is doing for interviews in the last month and the decision of where will end up looming overhead.

[mommax3]

We have tried to cut back too, although we didn't end up doing so well where the kids were concerned, particularly the oldest one -- he is pretty hard to buy for. However, for the first time I sat down and made a Christmas budget on paper before I started shopping. Before, I always got an amount in my head that I tried not to go over -- one amount for parents, another for siblings, another for older relatives, and then amounts for the kids and each other -- HOWEVER, I never added the whole thing up. When I looked at the total on paper, I immediately started revising all the amounts downward. I think we did pretty well.

We are both the oldest in our families, and we would really welcome drawing names as opposed to buying something for everyone, but no one else is to the point in their lives where they need that yet -- only one of our siblings (of the six we have between us) even has kids, and their baby is only one. So we will just do the best we can. And to be fair, we get nice gifts from our families, so its not all bad!

We do really try not to overload our kids with "stuff" that will be forgotten in a month. I would rather spend more and get one really cool toy (preferably without small pieces! ) that is educational and will keep them playing for hours than get several things for the same money and be tripping over them for the next year. I make pretty specific lists for our families and email them in early November in the hopes that their money (which they will spend whether they have a list or not) will not be wasted on something the kids don't like or already have. Even so, I am sure that at some point in January I will spend a day de-junking the toy room!

I have a hard time with Christmas spirit when I am far from family and friends, which has been the case the past two years. My husband's family is coming here for Christmas, so that will help some. I miss having traditions -- I can't participate in the ones I grew up with because I am far away, and we haven't really developed any of our own yet -- something we need to work on. Does anyone have some that they have started doing as a family that you want to share?

Sally

I'm also trying to come up with new traditions for the holidays for my husband and me. He stubbornly clings to some of the things that his family has always done, but I want to come up with things that are unique to us. Especially now, since we are married this year (our first married Christmas!) and we won't be able to travel back East to be with either of our families. So far, all we've come up with is that we're going to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas on Christmas Eve. But I'm hoping to think of new ideas, too.

[houseelf]

Like Sally, we have siblings that we continue to buy for because they do not have families yet. This is an enormous strain. Honestly, if I were to honestly calculate the price of a single holiday season including everything from the extravagent ingredients in the dinner, postage for 75 Christmas cards, stationery, portraits, gifts for approximately 30 people, wrapping paper, and an $18 photo with Santa, to name a few, I would probably freak out and become the Grinch.

Christmas, while the season of joy, is a difficult time for a lot of people. My girlfriend and I were talking about how the holidays highlight life changes. Many of us are far away from loved ones or dealing with issues that become particularly acute at this time. I have made a conscientious effort to view Christmas through the eyes of my son instead of focusing on the stress of an unbelievable "to do" list. This has helped me enormously. I hate to put a negative spin on the holidays, but how do you all deal with the more difficult aspects of the holidays?

kelly