Evening time blues

Any suggestions for beating the dinner time blues? I'm finding it harder and harder to cook dinner for 3 littles who aren't that impressed with my culinary genius.

DH is in 3rd rotations. IM. Inpatient. We aren't seeing very much of him around here. Starting around 4pm I find myself starting to feel increasingly sorry for myself. I don't want to spend the next few years down in the dumps at dinner!

What do you do to beat the blues? Or do I just have learn to live with them?
:anyolne:

[MrsK]

Re: Evening time blues

Maybe it would help to include the little ones -- at least the bigger little ones -- in preparing dinner? It could be fun working with them in the kitchen even if you are just microwaving hot-dogs.

[houseelf]

Re: Evening time blues

I'm finding it harder and harder to cook dinner for 3 littles who aren't that impressed with my culinary genius.

I learned that cooking for kids is VERY utilitarian. When DH is on call, it's a steady rotation of egg & pancakes, spaghetti, chicken patties, etcetera. I normally round these out with either fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables. Why kill myself for people who will just protest with disgusted looks when I make something fancy?

When I needed to eat "adult" food and I was on my own, I went to the deli at the chic-chic grocery store and bought a single serving of a cabbage roll or sushi or eggplant parmesean. Eating well seemed like I wasn't sacrificing as much being on my own all the time. Besides, who makes cabbage rolls for a single person? :huh:

Kelly

[MrsK]

Re: Evening time blues

When I needed to eat "adult" food and I was on my own, I went to the deli at the chic-chic grocery store and bought a single serving of a cabbage roll or sushi or eggplant parmesean. Eating well seemed like I wasn't sacrificing as much being on my own all the time. Besides, who makes cabbage rolls for a single person? :huh:

Kelly

You know. . . I haven't been eating dinner at all while I'm apart from Dr. K. I know, pathetic. I just realized last night that I hadn't been to the grocery store and have been eating cheese and crakers for dinner for the last 3 weeks. I mean, when I was single, a bag of microwave popcorn was dinner. Meanwhile, I've been waking up every morning thinking of what I'm going to cook and freeze for Dr. K when I'm in OH. No wonder I have the evening time blues!

[moonlight]

Re: Evening time blues

Hey Leslie

I went through the same thing when my DH was a MS3 on his surgery rotation. Good gosh it seems like it will never end... the rotation... the loneliness... the counting of days (ok, well I do still count the days! LOL).

I was away from home and called friends and family all of the time. I kept up with everyone on IMs that I couldn't talk with on the phone... msn, yahoo, aol, myspace IMs running at all times. I found uplifting stuff to watch on TV. I would go out for errands while DH was gone and really relaxed and took my time doing things. It was all about slowing down and taking in the moment... even when you wish that moment would pass on by and your hubby can get home! It was a real mix of keeping busy with sporadic inserted moments of slowing down and enjoying the quiet. I don't have any kiddos myself so I'm clueless on that front! More than anything I just wanted to post and say I have SO BEEN THERE and eventually that rotation will end and you'll be on to the next thing. Hang in there the best you can!! And for me atleast, you oddly get used to it after a while. :grouphug:

[HouseofWool]

Re: Evening time blues

When DH is on call at the hospital, I have been know to make mac n cheese and hot dogs served picnic style in front of the TV. I just don't care that much any more...

[MrsK]

Re: Evening time blues

Hey Leslie

I went through the same thing when my DH was a MS3 on his surgery rotation. Good gosh it seems like it will never end... the rotation... the loneliness... the counting of days (ok, well I do still count the days! LOL).

I was away from home and called friends and family all of the time. I kept up with everyone on IMs that I couldn't talk with on the phone... msn, yahoo, aol, myspace IMs running at all times. I found uplifting stuff to watch on TV. I would go out for errands while DH was gone and really relaxed and took my time doing things. It was all about slowing down and taking in the moment... even when you wish that moment would pass on by and your hubby can get home! It was a real mix of keeping busy with sporadic inserted moments of slowing down and enjoying the quiet. I don't have any kiddos myself so I'm clueless on that front! More than anything I just wanted to post and say I have SO BEEN THERE and eventually that rotation will end and you'll be on to the next thing. Hang in there the best you can!! And for me atleast, you oddly get used to it after a while. :grouphug:

This is really helpful. Thank you.

[v-girl]

Re: Evening time blues

I hate that others are going through this too. Mine is the morning and evening blues. ER rotation just started and PICU follows. These next two months are going to suck rocks big time. You aren't alone. Feel free to complain all you want here. We understand and will likely complain along with you.

Re: Evening time blues

Thank you. It helps to be reminded to stay connected. I generally do--with phone or email. The evening is the loneliest time for me because I feel like "everyone else" (even though I know it can't be true) is at home with their "whole" family having dinner. I did log back on to AIM tonight though. And, oddly enough, I had two neighbors stop by (one just to say hi, and the other to bring banana bread). The funny thing is it was complete feast or famine. Total loneliness, then neighbors and HUSBAND walks through the door. LOL.

The kids and I just got back from visiting family close to Boston and it was just so nice to have people around to share the end of the day with. I think I need to get us involved in an evening activity...or invite people over for dinner more...or something. I live on a military base. You would THINK I'd know some wives who's husbands are deployed. :huh:

I also need to log on here more often. I'm just really afraid ALL I have to offer right now is complaining.

Thanks for listening and sharing your experiences!

[MrsK]

Re: Evening time blues

Thank you. It helps to be reminded to stay connected. I generally do--with phone or email. The evening is the loneliest time for me because I feel like "everyone else" (even though I know it can't be true) is at home with their "whole" family having dinner.

You know this cannot be true. There are so many broken families out there. You are so blessed to have your husband and your children. With 3 little ones, you are definitely not alone. I think we all grow up with "happily ever after" fantasies. . . that said, I'm sick to death of sitting home with my TV every night as a newlywed. I mean, I didn't even do that when I was single! Sorry, I'm a complainer too. . . I spend 2 weeks at a time 1200 miles away from Dr. K and then when I'm with him I'm still home alone. You've definitely come to the right place for sympathy. Check in any time!

Re: Evening time blues

It is what it is, a medical family norm. I love to cook, but only cook half the week. The other half is the same as the other ladies, easy pasta, turkey meatballs, breaded chicken tenders, lots of corn (the one veggie they always eat), etc.. I read at the dinner table, if the kids aren't talkative. I really really want to get this new cookbook "Real Food for Healthy Kids". It's written by an two ladies who's been editors and written for Vegetarian Times, Bon Appetit, Epicurious.com and others. I'm hoping to get it with one of these good coupons Borders has been e-mailing.

Sorry there is no cure, but best to find the glass half full, cause it's not going to go away completely, or at least not for a long time. We light candles for dinners (I LOVE candles) and the kids love it too, helps make dinner feel "special".

[spotty_dog]

Re: Evening time blues

The evening is the loneliest time for me because I feel like "everyone else" (even though I know it can't be true) is at home with their "whole" family having dinner.

I fall into the comparison trap all the time too. I get so *bitter* thinking about how *everyone* else but me must have a parenting partner at home every evening to take some of the load off! Usually I can snap out of it though, eventually. Like, I got to the point of whining like a martyr at playgroup about how DH is going to be gone three days, working a 2-12 shift two days, then gone 5 more days. My friend commiserated with me, "Wow, that's really hard!" and then mentioned that her husband (an investment banker I think) is going to be gone *15* days straight. Ouch! A lot of mamas have it hard for a lot of reasons -- not to belittle the struggles we each face, but to remember that we're strong and we'll get through this.

Oh, and dinner tonight? Chik'n nuggets and stir-fried frozen "Potato Medley" from Trader Joes. Ooh, baby, gourmet at its finest.

[houseelf]

Re: Evening time blues

O.K., circle in everyone. Come on.

<<<<<Group Hug>>>>>>

I heart you guys. I would feel like I was living on another planet if I didn't have you guys to articulate what has become as normal as breathing in my household, so much so that when DH is home now I'm like "Don't you have somewhere you need to be?".

Kelly

Re: Evening time blues

I guess I am pretty lucky because DH is always around for dinner now. Either an early dinner before a night shift or a late dinner if he has worked a day shift. BUT, don't hate me. I have eaten alone probably most nights for the last 3 years though so can commiserate. Feel free to complain away and hang out here often!!

Now that we have the baby I actually enjoy the me-time that I get in the evenings when DH is gone, sometimes anyway! It is the only chance I get to read a book, catch up on here, email friends, bake, etc.

[ladymoreta]

Re: Evening time blues

. . . that said, I'm sick to death of sitting home with my TV every night as a newlywed. I mean, I didn't even do that when I was single! Sorry, I'm a complainer too. . .

Kymalu, you voiced my thoughts exactly! I am looking forward to when we have kids so it's not just me and the cats at my pity party! If I'm having a "down" night when he's on call, I usually go to the grocery store and treat myself to some cheap sushi rolls for dinner, or make myself some popcorn. I'm a comfort-eater, so I figure those aren't too bad...