Young Female seeking advice

I am a 22 year old female that has been going out with a 26 year old male who is going to attend Jefferson in the coming school year. We have known each other for 2.5 years and were in a relationship for 18 months out of the two years. We met in school and had a wonderful relationship, but I am worried about the distance, the hours that he will have to study and the time that I will not have with him.

I love him dearly, but I am also a realist. I have a job with a large financial firm, and I would not want to leave the company to be by his side. I would like to hear from anyone that is married or in a relationship and have a similar situation. I guess all I hear from everyone is that it will be difficult and lonely for me, and I just want to know if it is really that bad. I want to see if we can turn the dreams we have had into plans, not just dreams...

Anyone have an opinion?

[Michele]

I've never been in a long distance relationship...it always seemed too hard. There was a chance Russ would've been at med school 2 hours away...and I was dreading it...but now I really don't think it would have been as bad as I had thought. I'm not saying I wish he'd have gone away...I just think that we're both so busy the time apart may not have dragged. One of my good friend's boyfriend is 2 hours away and she travels to see him almost every weekend. During the week she gets all her studying done (we're in vet school) and then the time they spend together is quality. Russ and I are kinda off in our schedules and it's hard to get quality time. I mean, I see him every morning and before bed, but we really have to work to make sure we're not just co-existing. If we saw each other less would we value the time together better?

Sorry I don't have any specific advice....but there are my random thoughts anyway.

Michele

PS how far away would he be?

Hi, and welcome to the boards.

I met my husband three months before he started medical school. For two years we were in a long distance relationship before I moved to Chicago where he was in school. Yes, we missed each other a lot for those two years, but we managed to see each other for a weekend every 6-7 weeks, and he always spent his breaks with me. The distance gave him a chance to study without being distracted and gave me a chance to work and hang out with friends and not feel neglected. Don't get me wrong -- it was lonely and hard at times. But, it gave me a chance to figure out our future, and I decided to move to be with him. We've been married for almost two years now, so it worked out! (We've known each other for about seven years.)

The medical process is a long one and one that does require sacrifices. Good luck and know that either way there is a lot of support to be found here -- there are a bunch of people here who are in long-distance relationships.

Jill

I'm in a similar situation and scared to death about what distance might do to our relationship. My boyfriend of 9 months is applying/interviewing for residency and will move somewhere this summer. I am in Chicago and it is looking VERY unlikely that he will get a spot anywhere near IL. I feel ready to move with him (I'm 25, he's 27), but he is so incredibly stressed out about starting residency that he wants to get settled first and then figure out if/when I should move. One thing that may help you, and that I need to remember, is something my boy said. It may take us being apart (distance wise) to realize that we can't live without each other. Of course I think this already, but sometimes guys need this. (A bit frustrating, but true). Just as everyone is telling me, things will work out how they are supposed to, and you will figure it out as you go along. I believe that you will have time to see each other. Being with my boyfriend in his 4 yr of med school, we had PLENTY of time together. Granted, some of it was spent studying together , but I don't believe it is all consuming, especially if he wants to make the time for you. He will enjoy having a great support system in you and it may even make you closer.

Those are my random thoughts!