Did you guys see this story?

[PrincessFiona]

I hope no one expects her to be 'normal'.

Well of course not...at least not her family and close friends if she is EVER able to make any...but lets be honest here...this has gotten a lot of media attention so for now, people around her will be kind (hopefully) and helpful.

Fast forward 5 years...she is living in a neighborhood with her children...hopefully, her neighbors DON'T know her private business...she will suffer with mental health problems related to this no matter how resilient she is. Will her neighbors and the kids' teachers care and understand if she becomes a meth addict, alcoholic or suffers from horrible depression and anxiety? If she tells them the truth (i was abducted and my children are a product of my many years in captivity) will people embrace her the same way that they embrace their other friends or will they feel sorry for her and talk about how terrible it all is behind her back?

But lets get beyond that...what about HER? Every night she will think about it....she will struggle with social and family relationships...her life has already been shaped by this...no matter how resilient she is, she will never, ever be normal and fit in and she will know it...no matter how hard she tries or how much therapy and help she gets. You don't ever expect her to be normal, but ... maybe she would want to live a normal life as a normal person...

What education will she have? What kind of a career can she get? How will she adapt to living life away from her captors?

This is so many levels of terrible that I can't even wrap my mind around it.

And moonlight...I have no doubt you would be a good neighbor and friend to her knowing what you know...I think we would all try....but eventually this news cycle will die off...people will forget her name...and they will expect a normal woman and mother...and she will want to be normal...and she won't ever be.

I suppose we should all think about this when we look at our own crazy neighbors and dig deep for more sympathy and understanding.

[moonlight]

I hope no one expects her to be 'normal'.
jenn

Oh I agree! How could anyone expect her to be normal after all this? In fact, how can the 29 year old's mother and father be normal themselves after the living hell they've been through for 18 years. And now to find out their baby girl was alive and abused all those years... It would take a very strong parent/person not to become debilitated by the guilt. Not that I think the parents have any blame in this... I just think they might feel responsible for not protecting her. From what I understand there wasn't anything the parents could do to prevent this abduction.

[MrsK]

Frankly, I don't see her heading up her own household or sending her children to school. I mean, would they enroll in kindergarten? They'll probably live with her parents for a long time and try to assimilate her children into society as best they can.

[houseelf]

I suppose we should all think about this when we look at our own crazy neighbors and dig deep for more sympathy and understanding.
__________________

Except you, Kris. I forbide you to be nice to crazyneighbor. Ever.

I'm kidding...back to conversation.

Kelly

[moonlight]

I suppose we should all think about this when we look at our own crazy neighbors and dig deep for more sympathy and understanding.

I guess it helps that I always assume people are off their rocker when I meet them!

Joking aside... I was raised in a home with a nurse mother that really taught us about mental health issues. One lesson my parents taught us (I think in adolescence) was that you really never know what someone has gone through or what they are going through when you encounter them. If the bank teller is a total bitch then it's best for me to assume it has nothing at all to do with me. He/she may be dealing with some serious issues at home. If that's the case, then by all means I'm not going to let it effect my day. I think that's why I really think at the end of the day I'd accept her as a neighbor.... unless she does partake in illegal activities. If she does become a meth addict (like you suggested) then she'll be sent off to jail like everyone else.

[PrincessFiona]

I think that's why I really think at the end of the day I'd accept her as a neighbor.... unless she does partake in illegal activities. If she does become a meth addict (like you suggested) then she'll be sent off to jail like everyone else.

Except lets face it...given her life and circumstances it might even seem normal that something like that would happen to her. Is that where our compassion ends? Sure you were abducted, assaulted, held captive and all that jazz...but now that you can't handle it and are making bad choices that are a direct result of the horrible things that we feel so sorry happened to you..well...off to jail like everyone else? I just don't think she will ever be able to have a life worth living...that was robbed of her years ago and can't be undone. I sure as hell hope that she proves me wrong!

But...I digress...I do admire how you were taught to look at things. My mom (also a nurse) always taught me to consider why someone was acting the way that they were and to find compassion for them ... and it is a lesson that I value to this day.

that sick bastard and his wife deserve more awful punishment than can ever be handed out by a judge.

i hope, someday, that this woman and her children can find a way to live in peace.

[Pollyanna]

that sick bastard and his wife deserve more awful punishment than can ever be handed out by a judge.

i hope, someday, that this woman and her children can find a way to live in peace.

Amen to that.

[MrsC]

This is just horrific. When the story first broke, it was amazing to hear that she was alive...then the details came out and I couldn't help but think that maybe she would have been better off not surviving. Horrible thought I know.

My heart goes out to her and her kids and family. I hope she does find a way to cope.

[Rapunzel]

Hmmm.... My sweet little eleven year old is abducted, raped FOR YEARS, suffers through childbirth at the age of THIRTEEN, is held as essentially a sexual slave for eighteen years with heaven knows what happening to her (I'd be shocked if we knew all the details of what was done to that poor girl)....

I honestly can say that I would rather my baby girl die quickly than ever, ever go through that. Since I believe in an afterlife it is something I would much prefer to having a child - my heart walking around outside of my body - be tortured and spiritually (if not physically) destroyed for almost two decades.

My heart just aches for her.

And, my guess is that she will have to spend years in intensive therapy, will need to live with her parents or in some carefully controlled group-home situation, and will never, ever quite get through or over all of this. It was eighteen years of her life - and during some of the most crucial development. The rest of her life here on earth will be shaped by this - no matter what she does.

It is times like this that I am reminded why I believe in the death penalty. Two people have destroyed a tender child's life. It is, according to our societal norms, destroyed for all intents and purposes. And, what her body has been through? A thirteen year old having a baby can experience extreme physical trauma (fistulas being one thing that comes to mind). Oh, I can't think about this anymore. I get nauseated. Even animals do not do this.

[moonlight]

well...off to jail like everyone else? I just don't think she will ever be able to have a life worth living...that was robbed of her years ago and can't be undone. I sure as hell hope that she proves me wrong!

But...I digress...I do admire how you were taught to look at things. My mom (also a nurse) always taught me to consider why someone was acting the way that they were and to find compassion for them ... and it is a lesson that I value to this day.

This is the only super conservative thing you'll ever hear me say. Yes, the law is the law and no one, no matter what, deserves to put the rest of us in danger because of any criminal act. I don’t care what your past issues are. That's just the way I feel.

I think in this life bad things happen. I think we all learn from it (like this discussion reminded me of many lessons I'll teach my own little girl someday). I don't know why, but I'm looking at the glass half full on this situation. You right, she'll never be totally normal, but I think it's still a life worth living. I don't know why, but I'm so hopeful for this lady. I really think some sort of happiness can be had for her and the kids. Someday.

[PrincessFiona]

This is the only super conservative thing you'll ever hear me say. Yes, the law is the law and no one, no matter what, deserves to put the rest of us in danger because of any criminal act. I don’t care what your past issues are. That's just the way I feel.

I think in this life bad things happen. I think we all learn from it (like this discussion reminded me of many lessons I'll teach my own little girl someday). I don't know why, but I'm looking at the glass half full on this situation. You right, she'll never be totally normal, but I think it's still a life worth living. I don't know why, but I'm so hopeful for this lady. I really think sort of happiness can be had for her and the kids. Someday.

Well, first of all...what makes your life worth living? Your children? Your family? The history of your life that gives you comfort and peace? I don't know the answer to that for you, but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that this woman will battle demons until the day that she dies that will haunt her and stand between her and her family, children and everything else.

Of course bad things happen in life. We learn from it? What is she supposed to learn? And if she can't take those lessons because her entire childhood, parents and adulthood (because she is raising the children of her abductor and has to deal with all of this baggage) has been robbed from her and acts out she should be relegated to the pile of every other bad guy? Because we don't care anymore what her past issues are? eeek

THAT, is just an example of why I said she would have been better off not surviving. She will only have the empathy and support of her family and the community around her as long as she is the sympathetic victim. When she shows up in Jenn's meth clinic pregnant and neglecting herself and her kids, her entire history and how she got that way will be irrelevant to society at large.

I'll have to bow out of this thread now!

Kris

[Rapunzel]

OK, when I saw Kris had posted I decided to read this thread more....

The way I would describe this woman is crippled.

She has been emotionally and spiritually mutilated.

When a person has had burns over 80% of their body and actually manages to survive - do we understand that it may have been a better thing for that person to have died in the fire than to go through the physical torture that they will always endure?

This woman will endure emotional torture for the rest of her life because she was mutilated by that man and woman.

As someone who has serious mental illness in her own family - there is a difference here. It's like having diabetes vs. horrible scars from a horrific burn (see above). One is manageable (if the patient is willing) the other is...a mutilation...not an internal genetic condition.

[DCJenn]

I guess the real deal is that hopefully they'll fade from the public view and do the best that they can with what supports they need.



Jenn

[oceanchild]

When a person has had burns over 80% of their body and actually manages to survive - do we understand that it may have been a better thing for that person to have died in the fire than to go through the physical torture that they will always endure?

There was actually a story like this recently near here. The end result was that when police responded to a domestic dispute call, the man (who had been burned decades earlier in an oil rig explosion) killed himself and one of the officers. Tragic.

I'm impressed by the stepfather in this story, who has been giving interview after interview and in effect keeping the press away from mother, daughter, and daughters.