50 posts...

Ironically, that is how I found this place. My roommate sent me an AP article about being a medical spouse and how it was all gloom and doom. Freaked me out--this forum was mentioned in the article, so I checked it out

I wonder if that can explain our recent boost of newbies. We usually get them shortly after Match Day, and then again around July 1, but just in the past couple weeks we've gotten a lot of new people.

I, too, think 100 posts has merit, but I'm torn. I was a novice poster (as in, I'd never participated in an online forum) when I joined, and 100 probably would have been off-putting to me. But clearly that isn't the case for everyone when the 50 post requirement can be met in a weekend, while another poster who has just been taking her time and getting to know the site is still waiting for access. Obviously there has to be a threshold, and 50 is the number that the powers-that-be decided on. It can usually weed out the folks who are trolls. We want to be accessible for those who need it -- b/c sometimes there *is* really a need. When I found this site I was at my wits end - not just curious about what was to come.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's a hard balance to strike.

[L.Jane]

I wonder if that can explain our recent boost of newbies. We usually get them shortly after Match Day, and then again around July 1, but just in the past couple weeks we've gotten a lot of new people.

I, too, think 100 posts has merit, but I'm torn. I was a novice poster (as in, I'd never participated in an online forum) when I joined, and 100 probably would have been off-putting to me. But clearly that isn't the case for everyone when the 50 post requirement can be met in a weekend, while another poster who has just been taking her time and getting to know the site is still waiting for access. Obviously there has to be a threshold, and 50 is the number that the powers-that-be decided on. It can usually weed out the folks who are trolls. We want to be accessible for those who need it -- b/c sometimes there *is* really a need. When I found this site I was at my wits end - not just curious about what was to come.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's a hard balance to strike.

I found this site through the Lives of Drs Wives blog when someone mentioned this site. Funny enough, I have actually been a part of this community since May but it took me months to make my 50 posts because I wasn't very comfortable posting at first. I was pretty awed by the tightness of those who have been here for a while, and still sometimes feel like I am listening in on conversations of close friends. It’s kind of like that whole newbie at high school and walking into the cafeteria feeling. I think the second 50 posts will be much easier then the first now that I am a bit more at ease about jumping into threads.

[niener]

As the others have stated, we have had some doozies in the past- for example, we've had ads for real estate in the south of France (we thought about combining income and buying the place but we were all resident spouses at the time)

We've had trolls from SDN (student doctor network) trying to figure out what exactly their spouses are doing over here OR starting "doctors are so important so shut up and make my dinner statements"

and we've had reporters. Lots and lots of reporters. (they're usually really easy to spot because they clearly no nothing of what it's like)

I'm waiting for someone to start trolling here because of the health care debate going on here in the states. (although if they think our members or their doctor spouses are in any way a unified front, they're smoking crack.)

So, that's the background. and yes, we pay attention to substance in the posts, too.

Hugs and Kisses-

Jenn

Hmmm, ok this has got me thinking.

What were the reporters looking for do you think? I mean are they searching for things like "OMG, such-and-such hospital is violating patient safety!" or "wow, Dr. so-and-so should have his license revoked, you won't BELIEVE what he did today!..."

Those sort of things are obviously inappropriate to post here (not that I would even know about them if they happened), but this whole conversation has me a little worried that I don't know what is and is not appropriate to talk about. Obviously there are some things that just depend on your personal comfort level, but I'm sure there are things that are inappropriate across the board. Is there a post archived somewhere where y'all have talked about this already? Or, and I guess this is more a question for the admins, do you think there should be a sticky post somewhere with some general guidelines about this sort of thing? Or maybe there is and I just haven't found it yet...

I guess I"m just afraid that there are some "super obvious" things that "everyone" knows you shouldn't talk about except little ole' clueless me

[SuzySunshine]

Ironically, that is how I found this place. My roommate sent me an AP article about being a medical spouse and how it was all gloom and doom. Freaked me out--this forum was mentioned in the article, so I checked it out

Do you mind posting the link to the article? I'm just curious.

[Pollyanna]

I wonder if that can explain our recent boost of newbies. We usually get them shortly after Match Day, and then again around July 1, but just in the past couple weeks we've gotten a lot of new people.

I was wondering the same thing. It seems like most of us find this site when we are up in the middle of the night, spouse on call, searching things on Google like, "what the hell were we thinking"

[niener]

I wonder if that can explain our recent boost of newbies. We usually get them shortly after Match Day, and then again around July 1, but just in the past couple weeks we've gotten a lot of new people.

I actually found this site when DH and I were discussing divorce rates among surgeons and couldn't agree on the percentage, so I googled it and in one of those google searches (probably something along the lines of "surgeon marriages", "medical resident marriage rates", etc.) this site popped up.

I guess I"m just afraid that there are some "super obvious" things that "everyone" knows you shouldn't talk about except little ole' clueless me

Nope. No guidelines or stickies about what you can talk about. Once you've gained access to the private forums, it's all about your comfort level and common sense. Medicine is a small, small, small world. It is amazing how many of us and/or our spouses have crossed paths IRL (outside of planned meet-ups).

Obviously you don't want to post things that might construe a HIPPA violation (but technically you shouldn't hear anything like that from your spouse, either). And common sense should tell you not to post the name of that dumb-ass attending who ticked off your spouse. Chances are he/she is someone else's mentor and or may be someone's spouse here!

The only thing we've ever *really* said "not appropriate here" to is when people ask for specific medical advice / diagnosis, or if people try to solicit funds.

I can see where you'd feel like you're eavesdropping / new kid. As Rapunzel said, some of us have been here for YEARS, and have the post counts to show for it.

[NYCHoosier]

I wonder if that can explain our recent boost of newbies. We usually get them shortly after Match Day, and then again around July 1, but just in the past couple weeks we've gotten a lot of new people.

I've noticed a lot, too!

For those who don't remember me, I was a regular poster here a year ago, then I disappeared and have now come back, post count reset due to a technical glitch.
I personally came back because I remember all the residency application posts a year ago and now that it's my turn, I want to have those conversations!

I think i.am.bama mentioned he found this through tapatalk. Perhaps it's just a perfect storm?

Regardless, I'm really curious about the article, too!

[KCwife]

... and there are some of us who go in and out participation. I joined about the same time as Jane and have a much lower post count. I have to second the small world part... just be smart.

[Meenah]

Sven!!!! Definitely someone in advertising was trolling for info!

[PrincessFiona]

Re: 50 posts...

Just drive-by posting here. The author of that article is a med spouse and she emailed me a copy awhile back. LOL

I think we started the 50 post rule years ago after some SDN trolling occurred. Most of the time we don't pay that close of attention to post content ... Unless someone posts 50 single line responses in a few hours or something.

Really it is all about protecting you the members. Once you hit 50 and we are pretty sure you are for real then you will have access to more private forums where you can discuss whatever you feel comfortable with.

=)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[spotty_dog]

I was pretty awed by the tightness of those who have been here for a while, and still sometimes feel like I am listening in on conversations of close friends

I felt the same once! I hit 50; then, convinced that the private forums were either personal conversations or else complaints about ME, I just moped about waiting for someone to notice. I think I was in the hundreds when I sucked it up and asked an admin, well after a year after I first found the site, LOL. That was...4.5 years and 2500 posts ago.

This is a pretty unique community. The old-timers have been friends, both virtual and sometimes IRL, for a very long time. But the circle is ever expanding. I remember when some of our dearest regulars were new here themselves.

I do feel bad sometimes for the guys though, and others who just by nature aren't chitty-chatty and find that limit hard to break. But that's just what has to happen if we're to feel at all like there's a limit on drive-by posters seeing our kids' pics and our marital challenges.

I guess I'll just say in conclusion, take the posting limit seriously but don't take it personally. We all of us really truly had to get there without one-word posts. And please, just join in. I regret my tendency to lurk on the edges; I often still feel like an outsider and I know it's my own fault because people here are extremely eager to pull new folks into the fold.

I guess I'll just say in conclusion, take the posting limit seriously but don't take it personally.

Exactly.

[DCJenn]

Truly-

We really do want everyone to feel a part of our community. It's a bizarre lifestyle that has a lot of preconceived notions based on ER, General Hospital and Grey's Anatomy, aka ALL WRONG. (or I didn't get to the part where we're rolling around in money yet)

We tend to stay away from politics and religion except in the debates forum. We oftentimes sound horrible in there but we all know where we all stand to start (Me: East Coast Tree-hugging liberal living in a tiny enclave of fellow liberals in San Antonio) so it's more a matter of making a good point than changing anyone's opinion.

I remember once we had a new member that just asked a bunch of really strange questions and I finally said, "what exactly are you researching? We'll be glad to help. and then (shock!) they went away.

Jenn

PS- we do have our own insider language- some of which are "Champagne, orgasms and chocolate" - aka what we were promised at the end of training. "The Bus"- it's our imaginary bus that we all hop aboard in order to apply justice when warranted- sometimes to the errant spouse, often to mothers-in-law. "Fluff's newspaper"- again a visual aid- our fabulous member Fluffhead once described dealing w/ his in-laws as requiring that a newspaper be rolled up and applied to their noses. We have our own cursewords, too.

[Meenah]

We have our own cursewords, too.

My personal favorite is DCJenn's "asshat". I use it way too often IRL.