Medicine doesn't have to ruin your marriage, but it will definitely morph it into something you never counted on. Even after they are done and are practicing Attendings, you may not come first. My DH is in critical care, and I know that the patient about to be intubated/coded will always come before anything at home. I know that if he is in the hospital and someone is deteriorating, it really doesn't matter what plans he may have with me. Not all specialties are like that, but surgery definitely is. The surgery spouses always make me thankful that I only have to deal with critical care. I'm a nurse practitioner, and I have worked critical care, I do get it, better that someone who has no medical background, and it still makes me crazy and some days really pisses me off. You are both adjusting, you have to find a way to adjust in a common direction so that your marriage can grow and survive. Finding this website is a great step. We are all here for a reason, and it isn't because the medical life is esasy. Good luck, we are here for you.
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Feeling clinical.....sorry this is long... :(
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I have nothing to add that hasn't already been said. Medicine is not the typical career path/lifestyle. I have made a lot of changes in how I look at things, and although there are really crappy things sometimes, overall, I can say that I am happy. Talk to me again next year once we start residency
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