After infatuation

[HouseofWool]

Well thanks for clearing it all up, i'm none of those things that you've mentioned... But I'm pretty sure with the history of the site you probally don't believe me...

I'm just a guy that came across the site and thought that it was interesting due to the nature of it.


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But are you the spouse of someone in medicine?

[SoonerTexan]

We've been hacked by Eastern Europeans, we've had people threaten to sue.

Wow--are you serious? Now I really understand the backlast at the 50 posts thread I started a few days ago

[GrayMatterWife]

Not insulted at all, how can the 3 or 4 questions that I have asked make it seem as if I'm writing a thesis? If there are topics that shouldn't be talked about pls let me know

And as for getting to know more about "me" pls refer to my intro thread and ask me whatever you like...

Just understand that many of us in this forum have been here for several years (some, many more). We've seen each other go through major life events--births, deaths, disappointments, successes, divorces, marriages, relocations, illnesses. It's not there aren't things that "shouldn't" be talked about, I would say. It is more a matter of knowing you well before we open up about intimacies. Although your question is theoretical, it most likely will elicit responses based on very personal experiences.

We are here because, although we come from a variety of backgrounds, we share a life experience in common: being "attached" to a physician or med student. The reason we get together here is that people who are not part of the experience do not understand a lot of what we go through. Often, we are misunderstood in the non-medical world and face a lot of social presumptions, and we can struggle to find friends who share in common our vernacular. Sometimes people do post here (but they don't tend to last long) in a way that suggests that they are on the outside, using this forum as a microscope, to look at medical spouses/SOs in a petri dish--for whatever reason.

Personally, I am looking forward to getting to know you! I hope that you're a frequent poster! I wouldn't read the "pushback" or hesitancy as anything personal at all. Just give us some time to get to know you.

FWIW, I don't have an issue addressing your post, though: what happens when the "new love" phase wears off? Personally, I am not madly in love with my husband every breathing minute. We've been married for 13 years--being madly in love for that long would just be plain exhausting. But, for me, being married was never about being in love all the time. It was about being committed all the time. But I have learned a lot about love by learning about commitment: mainly, that the commitment allows you to have a multi-layered love, which often includes that feeling of being "in love" but also sustains you in moments where you really just want to punch him in the face.

[GrayMatterWife]

Feel free to COMPLETELY DISREGARD my above-post. I hadn't seen DCJenn's before posting. She said it better and without rambling. Sorry--I'd delete mine, but I'm having weird internet connection problems today that is making is practically impossible to edit or delete on this site. Grrr.

Re: After infatuation

Well thanks for clearing it all up, i'm none of those things that you've mentioned... But I'm pretty sure with the history of the site you probally don't believe me...

I'm just a guy that came across the site and thought that it was interesting due to the nature of it.


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But are you the spouse of someone in medicine?

This question has already been answered several times I believe you can find that answer in my intro thread

So much for this thread... It's taken a turn I didn't even foresee

[PrincessFiona]

Wow--are you serious? Now I really understand the backlast at the 50 posts thread I started a few days ago

Yes. Actually, this is a good place to talk about some issues that I see popping up here in general.

The iMSN has been around for 10 years now. It started out as a much smaller website and so the members got to know each other pretty well. As a result, people felt safe to talk about more personal marriage/medicine issues. We welcomed the website growing, but that is when we started getting some weirdness. There have been many things that have happened including a time where an African lottery got ahold of us, sent emails from our server and managed to get us reported to a higher authority and kicked off of that server!

So...through the years, we have gotten careful...and slightly paranoid.

As you are members here longer, I hope that you will see that we all really truly care about each other...and will care as much about you. It goes beyond what I see in a lot of other forums. As a family here...and we really are a familiy...we have shared our lives: We have lived through cancer, pregnancy loss, international adoptions, infertility, infidelity, divorce and much more. We have each other's phone numbers and addresses, we get-together locally, we bring each other meals, send each other care packages....and we truly want to include every medical spouse who wants to be a part of it.

But yes...we have become a little wary because of our experiences. It can make us seem off-putting...even a little rude at times and....truthfully, we worry about that too! LOL

i. am. Bama, I think that people might have become a little wary because of the fact that many of your posts are quick answers, you have provided vague details about your wife's training program, and people are generally a little nervous here. Please forgive us if we are being overly anxious....you might want to provide a little bit more detail about yourself and your wife's residency...and your child...

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

LOL Hey, I just posted nearly the same thing! LOL

Just understand that many of us in this forum have been here for several years (some, many more). We've seen each other go through major life events--births, deaths, disappointments, successes, divorces, marriages, relocations, illnesses. It's not there aren't things that "shouldn't" be talked about, I would say. It is more a matter of knowing you well before we open up about intimacies. Although your question is theoretical, it most likely will elicit responses based on very personal experiences.

We are here because, although we come from a variety of backgrounds, we share a life experience in common: being "attached" to a physician or med student. The reason we get together here is that people who are not part of the experience do not understand a lot of what we go through. Often, we are misunderstood in the non-medical world and face a lot of social presumptions, and we can struggle to find friends who share in common our vernacular. Sometimes people do post here (but they don't tend to last long) in a way that suggests that they are on the outside, using this forum as a microscope, to look at medical spouses/SOs in a petri dish--for whatever reason.

Personally, I am looking forward to getting to know you! I hope that you're a frequent poster! I wouldn't read the "pushback" or hesitancy as anything personal at all. Just give us some time to get to know you.

FWIW, I don't have an issue addressing your post, though: what happens when the "new love" phase wears off? Personally, I am not madly in love with my husband every breathing minute. We've been married for 13 years--being madly in love for that long would just be plain exhausting. But, for me, being married was never about being in love all the time. It was about being committed all the time. But I have learned a lot about love by learning about commitment: mainly, that the commitment allows you to have a multi-layered love, which often includes that feeling of being "in love" but also sustains you in moments where you really just want to punch him in the face.

[seaside*bliss]

All I have to add is WOW I am just thankful the ladies are keeping us protected. Being a spouse of a Dawkter or Dawkter in training puts you in a vulnerable position when it comes to discussing personal matters and I am glad I have the support of those here who can really *get* me. Thank you ladies

[Thirteen]

I'll answer this one

My infatuation sometimes wanes, depending on the day/stress level/weather/etc. But I am loyal and very committed to the promise I made to my DH. I love him, and I believe that love is a choice you make every morning, afternoon, and evening.

Re: After infatuation

Wow--are you serious? Now I really understand the backlast at the 50 posts thread I started a few days ago

Yes. Actually, this is a good place to talk about some issues that I see popping up here in general.

The iMSN has been around for 10 years now. It started out as a much smaller website and so the members got to know each other pretty well. As a result, people felt safe to talk about more personal marriage/medicine issues. We welcomed the website growing, but that is when we started getting some weirdness. There have been many things that have happened including a time where an African lottery got ahold of us, sent emails from our server and managed to get us reported to a higher authority and kicked off of that server!

So...through the years, we have gotten careful...and slightly paranoid.

As you are members here longer, I hope that you will see that we all really truly care about each other...and will care as much about you. It goes beyond what I see in a lot of other forums. As a family here...and we really are a familiy...we have shared our lives: We have lived through cancer, pregnancy loss, international adoptions, infertility, infidelity, divorce and much more. We have each other's phone numbers and addresses, we get-together locally, we bring each other meals, send each other care packages....and we truly want to include every medical spouse who wants to be a part of it.

But yes...we have become a little wary because of our experiences. It can make us seem off-putting...even a little rude at times and....truthfully, we worry about that too! LOL

i. am. Bama, I think that people might have become a little wary because of the fact that many of your posts are quick answers, you have provided vague details about your wife's training program, and people are generally a little nervous here. Please forgive us if we are being overly anxious....you might want to provide a little bit more detail about yourself and your wife's residency...and your child...

Kris

History aside, why would I put so much info about my family on here when no one else (as far ad I can see) is doing the same thing? You say tell you all about me but in the same sentence say we're shy/stand offish. How does that work?

Like I said before I'm not here to cause any drama, I just figured I join the site since I'm married to a doctor.

[DCJenn]

Bama-

The longer you are with us, the more access there is to various more private areas of the site.

We've all posted our information at various and sundry times. In our most recent transfer we didn't move all of the welcome and introduction posts because there were hundreds.

So, I'll be happy to reintroduce myself-

I'm Jenn, my husband is a child neurologist in the Army, we have a five year-old boy who was adopted from Russia and we live in San Antonio. I joined this site in February of 2001 during my husband's intern year.

Welcome aboard.

jenn

[diggitydot]

History aside, why would I put so much info about my family on here when no one else (as far ad I can see) is doing the same thing?

Most of us have some rudimentary info in our sig lines, if that helps any.

A lot of us, like you, don't feel particularly comfortable sharing oodles of personal info in the public forums. Our info is out there, just not where any and everyone can see it.

Feel free to PM me if you have some specific questions about the med spouse gig.

My info:

• Married 10 years to a now-2nd year resident
• Originally from PNW, now in the Midwest
• 3 kids
• Complete inability to shut my freakin' yap most of the time

Re: After infatuation

Now see I think I've shared all of that kinda stuff already...

Yall know where I'm from, how long I've been married, what yr of residency my wife is in, you know I have a child, you know my current & future career paths...

But yall are still asking me for more details. So help me understand where I've went wrong in all of this?


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[diggitydot]

But yall are still asking me for more details. So help me understand where I've went wrong in all of this?

I didn't ask you anything, only offered my own info. Or was that not directed at me?

Re: After infatuation

No it wasn't directed at you, it was more of an observation


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