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Wedding Advice Overload

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  • Wedding Advice Overload

    So, I'm getting married in April and everyone and their mother (literally) wants to tell me how to do things. From the flowers, to the cake, to the bridesmaids dresses (people are VERY outspoken about this), the bridesmaids shoes, etc. people seem to want to push me in on direction or another. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm looking for a polite way to say "I'll figure it out on my own, thanks!". I know that for some people it is coming from a good place - they just want to help. But for others, I really think they want to put their "stamp" on my wedding.

  • #2
    Smile & nod, then do whatever you want. It's hard - everyone wants to "help".
    Wife to a urologist; Mom to 2 wonderful kiddos

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    • #3
      Well, you know what they say about opinions. . .

      Mostly, people just want to be listened to. So, hear them out. Tell them, "That's a good idea. I'll think about it." And then do whatever you want to do.
      Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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      • #4
        Oh of course. I got plenty of this. At first, I was very polite and accomodating, but as the wedding got closer and the suggestions more absurd, I simply put my foot down. Most people were not horribly offended. The only person that I accomodated was my 92 year-old grandmother who requested that we cut the cake early (like right after dinner) because she did not want to wait around for it as she goes to bed early.

        Most requests were from a good place, but it is YOUR wedding. DH and I are glad that we put our foot down on things that were very important to us and let go on issues that weren't. We felt that our wedding was perfect and memorable. Good luck - planning a wedding = political training...you will learn to balance "suggestions" with grace and composure. Your wedding will be beautiful - don't let anyone talk you out of what you want, these are YOUR memories!
        Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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        • #5
          It's funny, I started out wanting to please everyone. Then I went to polite refusal...then bluntly disagreeing, then... my claws came out.
          The closer it gets, the less patience you have for that sort of thing. Period.
          Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
          Professional Relocation Specialist &
          "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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          • #6
            This is just the beginning. Wait until you have kids! Just say, "thanks for the advice!" and do what you want.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Chrisada View Post
              This is just the beginning. Wait until you have kids! Just say, "thanks for the advice!" and do what you want.
              My mom said the exact same thing!!! As for just agreeing and doing what I want, I think we've reached a consensus! Thanks everyone for your help!

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              • #8
                One of the best pieces of advice I got was don't try and make everyone happy, because it is impossible.... just remember its your and you FIs wedding!

                Just thank people for their ideas and let them know you had something else in mind.
                Loving wife of neurosurgeon

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                • #9
                  Been there, done that. Just smile and nod. Everyone thinks they know best. Good luck!!
                  Brandi
                  Wife to PGY3 Rads also proud mother of three spoiled dogs!! Some days it is hectic, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.




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                  • #10
                    What everyone else said: "Thanks. I'll think about it." or something similar.

                    If the opinion-giver can't take a hint, you can crank up the obviousness: "Hmm. Sounds like you'll have all your plans set for your own wedding someday."

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Chrisada View Post
                      This is just the beginning. Wait until you have kids! Just say, "thanks for the advice!" and do what you want.
                      No kidding!! I was lucky in that no one offered any opinions about my wedding (but then, if you don't have attendants, flowers, or cake, what's there to opine about? lol) but relating to my kids...sheesh people.

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