Question for Catholics

[moonlight]

...or anyone that might know.

My husband is catholic (I am not) and he started adult conformation class tonight. I know… he is very behind. He wants our baby to be baptized catholic and I’m supportive of this process. Does anyone know off hand if we could have our baby baptized catholic before my husband finishes the adult conformation class? I thought it would be nice to have her baptized during the Christmas break while all his relatives are here. But the class isn’t done until Palm Sunday 2010.

[SuzySunshine]

DH and I just discusses this (we're both catholic and confirmed) we don't recall being asked if we were baptized or confirmed when we asked to have our kids baptized but we did have to provide proof of both to be married in the church. I would think since it's obvious he will be soon that they would let you but he should just ask either the priest or the person teaching his class.

You will be required to have at least one catholic godparent but we didn't have to provide any documentation on them either, we were just asked if they were catholic - in A's case both were, we're still deciding on #2's but his godmother at least will be catholic.

[moonlight]

I'm kinda scared of the priest. I didn't have the guts to ask him tonight, but we'll ask him next week. I was just hoping someone on here would have some experience at this. Oh well.

Oh yeah, he did say we needed to get married after his conformation. He never exactly said that we had to wait until after marriage to do the baptism. We both wondered after leaving the class tonight.

BTW I thought the adult classes were to go quicker or something. My eyeballs poped when he said it was going to take until Palm Sunday.

[SuzySunshine]

The adult classes are usually for those coming in from a different religion so they are usually longer and harder.

[v-girl]

Call the parish secretary or administrator and ask her.

And I doubt it would be a problem. I know my cousin's grandson was baptized and his parents weren't even married (dad in jail now), much less practicing Catholics.

[SoonerTexan]

Same here--I highly doubt they would refuse baptism

[Chrisada]

When we did RCIA we actually had DH and DS baptized together! After DH was confirmed and baptized, he then turned and baptized DS with the priest. We had several family members fly in for it.

[Chrisada]

Oh yeah, he did say we needed to get married after his conformation. He never exactly said that we had to wait until after marriage to do the baptism. We both wondered after leaving the class tonight.

BTW I thought the adult classes were to go quicker or something. My eyeballs poped when he said it was going to take until Palm Sunday.

You also don't have to wait until you are married in the church to have your child baptized. Now I remember that the sister told us we should get married again after we did RCIA, but we completely forgot about it!

[MarissaNicole]

I would think that as long as DH is in the classes you should be able to have your child babtized. I THINK the the main thing is that at least one parent is babtized and that you promise to raise the child catholic - so I would think that your husband taking the classes would be sufficient... but that is just my THOUGHT.

Of course different churches have different rules.

[moonlight]

The adult classes are usually for those coming in from a different religion so they are usually longer and harder.

My husband was raised catholic. He was baptized catholic, first confession, first communion, and served as an altar boy for all of jr high and most of high school. While in 10th grade he didn't have a means (or willing parent) to take him to conformation classes when it was offered.

So here we are… He was under the impression that the adult class would be shorter than 7 months. I thought it should take about a month to two at the most. But it seems he is kinda stuck with this class now. It’s every Thursday night at 7pm. Thankfully his residency isn’t too demanding, but I am concerned about what will happen while he is on busy rotations or if he were to get paged while on call or what we’ll do when the baby comes or what we’ll do about taking a vacation as we planed for next February… eeekkk. This is getting complicated.

Were we totally off track in thinking it should be quicker than 7 months?

[SuzySunshine]

Of course different churches have different rules.

This is key - we're having #2 baptized at my parents' church instead of ours and have had to jump through a few more hoops - annoying!

[moonlight]

This is key - we're having #2 baptized at my parents' church instead of ours and have had to jump through a few more hoops - annoying!

I did ask him over the phone today (before the class) if he thought it would be possible to do the baptism at a church in S.C. (we live in N.C.) where most of DH's extended catholic family lives. S.C. is also the place where the family will meet up for Christmas. I thought it would work out great if we could do it over Christmas break, but now with this 7 month long class.. I'm not sure what will or won't be allowed. Anyways, the priest did tell me over the phone that he could help us set up the baptism at the church in S.C. with no problem. One less hoop I guess?

BTW Thanks everyone thus far for the advice and info!

[DCJenn]

I was the designated non-Catholic for my friend's son's baptism- her husband is the son of a Baptist minister so obviously they weren't too pressed about the parental backgrounds.

Jenn

[Flynn]

From our experience it totally depends on the church and individual priest.

In our current location we had to prove (which we failed ):

***that both my husband and myself were Catholic = baptised, confirmed and married in THE church

***that we had "good standing" in a Catholic church in town for at least a year

*** "good standing" means going at least three times a month to a local Catholic church AND giving a minimum 2% of your family income for at least a year.

I KID YOU NOT.


I got pissed off at the second priest we called and got a tiny bit snotty with him (a tiny bit?). When he said it wouldn't be possible for us "until we made some changes" I told him I'm a practical woman and asked him "how much it would cost." I was dead serious.

He paused and did an uncomfortable "ah hem." I explained I grew up in the Catholic church and was TRYING to stay in it but in our current city with the 1950's mentality I was finding it extremely difficult to "stay Catholic." I asked my question again (how much would it cost) and he told me "he would call me back."

I wonder if he'll actually call us back. I picture the little weasle looking at estimates for a new sign or to replace the fragile stained glass.

[Pollyanna]

Canon law states the following:

868 §1. For an infant to be baptized licitly:
1/ the parents or at least one of them or the person who legitimately takes their place must consent;
2/ there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism is to be delayed according to the prescripts of particular law after the parents have been advised about the reason.

SO if you are planning to raise your child Catholic there should be no problem going ahead with the baptism before the confirmation. Now if the pastor does not feel that the parents are planning to raise the child in an active Catholic home than refusing baptism is required. Why go through with a baptism if there is no intention to follow through on it?

People have mentioned a variety of issues they have had with different priests/churches. It is important to remember that we are Catholics for Christ, not for a particular church or pastor. The following is a great quote from Catholic Apologist Frank Sheed:

We are not baptized into the hierarchy; do not receive the cardinals sacramentally; will not spend an eternity in the beatific vision of the pope. Christ is the point. I, myself, admire the present pope, but even if I criticized him as harshly as some do, even if his successor proved to be as bad as some of those who have gone before, even if I find the Church, as I have to live with it, a pain in the neck, I should still say that nothing that a pope (or a priest) could do or say would make me wish to leave the Church, although I might well wish that they would leave.

Good luck with the baptism and confirmation!