There's one in every class

[Thirteen]

In my final semester of grad school, I chose two classes that allowed undergrads in b/c of budget cuts (a whole other rant). Anyway, in one of the classes is a very opinionated young woman who, quite frankly, monopolizes the discussion every time. The problem is, she has no etiquette whatsoever - when another person is speaking, she interrupts and raises her voice. When the teacher is making a point, she interrupts HIM. The worst part? There's no way she can be considered an expert in this particular area and insists on using ambiguous terms like "that dude, this thing, whatsherface." Sorry, that doesn't help me follow your logic. If she cuts me off when I'm speaking one more time, I might lose it.

Since she's younger than me, I didn't go to her but instead went to the prof - he claimed it must have been poor moderating on his part. Which is true, but I only partially buy that statement -- this is college (for her), and it's incredibly rude to do what she's doing.

Ever dealt with anyone like this? What did you do?

Must. not. strangle...
-A

[fluffhead]

It's the prof's job to deal with that. It _is_ poor moderating on his part - he should be able to tactfully shut her up. It's not your job to keep decorum in the class.
In any case, what with psychos on college campuses in the past few years, I'd steer clear of confronting her.

[Meenah]

I agree with Fluffhead!

[scarlett09]

I agree with fluffhead. It is the prof's responsibility to reign her in a bit. I would say that she's probably been engaging in this type of "discussion" in most of her smaller undergrad classes. And no prof has ever tried to tone her down/shut her up in those classes either. So therefore, she has an inflated opinion of her intelligence on the subject (and probably multiple subjects). Hang in there!

At least you've got some talkers (crazy girl aside)! As a part-time grad student, I'm a little off-schedule in terms of taking my core classes. I'm taking my last one this semester and it is full of first-semester students, who are all 22-23 years old. They are taking their first grad classes, so they barely say a thing! Hopefully they will warm up as the semester goes on! ::fingers crossed::

[scrub-jay]

There is always one in every class...someone that feels that as long as they "participate" (and I use that term loosely) they will succeed. Not often the case. I have to admit that once when completely fed up with one such individual I began to counter each of her points with rationality. Eventually, she stopped interrupting me, the other students, and the instructor. I wish I had better advice, but sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. The instructor really should take more notice and moderate the classroom discussion - especially interruption - that is inexcusable.

[scrub-jay]

In reading the other posts- I agree, you should be more diplomatic than my previous suggestion.

[GrayMatterWife]

I am known for neither my diplomacy nor my suffering of rudeness quietly, so consider my suggestion with that in mind:

the next time she interrupts you, interrupt HER, by very FIRMLY and loudly, saying: "Excuse me. I had not finished my thought. I would appreciate my commments not being hijacked."

This should work. If it does not shame her into shutting up, it will probably knock her off her game long enough for some else to speak. She's probably never had it implied to her that NOT EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT YOU HAVE NEEDS TO BE SHARED THE MINUTE YOU HAVE IT. Besides that, she probably will be taken aback at your use of the word "hijack" (because of all its connotations)--so she may not be able to get her footing quickly.

Then, firmly but respectfully, continue your thought, as though nothing had happened.

There is always the chance that she'll feel threatened and become loud and indignant. You handle that by remaining completely calm but firm, and--after she's raged at you--tell her: "I am not going to get into a personal exchange with you here. But I can guarantee you, your classroom rudeness is an unappreciated pattern that brings down the class as a whole. Others of us have valid thoughts to contribute. Consider sharing your stage." But the key is to remain calm. Don't let your voice go up an octave. Don't roll your eyes, pull your arms in, or give other physical expressions of retreat.

And everyone else in class is thinking the exact same thing, and you'll be a heroine.

The prof might try to suggest that you "tone it down"' or something, if he's one of those "conflict avoiders."

Do other people in the class participate (on not such an obnoxious scale)? I know that one of my college professors allowed someone to do the same things as that girl just because he was grateful to have SOMEONE responding. It was intolerable to listen to though because she never read the material, had an ideology that she tied everything back to (which was irrelevant to the topic), and spewed off idiotic things that didn't make any sense (no matter HOW open you were being). Good luck, you still have a while till the end of the semester!!!

[MarissaNicole]

I am known for neither my diplomacy nor my suffering of rudeness quietly, so consider my suggestion with that in mind:

the next time she interrupts you, interrupt HER, by very FIRMLY and loudly, saying: "Excuse me. I had not finished my thought. I would appreciate my commments not being hijacked."

This should work. If it does not shame her into shutting up, it will probably knock her off her game long enough for some else to speak. She's probably never had it implied to her that NOT EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT YOU HAVE NEEDS TO BE SHARED THE MINUTE YOU HAVE IT. Besides that, she probably will be taken aback at your use of the word "hijack" (because of all its connotations)--so she may not be able to get her footing quickly.

Then, firmly but respectfully, continue your thought, as though nothing had happened.

There is always the chance that she'll feel threatened and become loud and indignant. You handle that by remaining completely calm but firm, and--after she's raged at you--tell her: "I am not going to get into a personal exchange with you here. But I can guarantee you, your classroom rudeness is an unappreciated pattern that brings down the class as a whole. Others of us have valid thoughts to contribute. Consider sharing your stage." But the key is to remain calm. Don't let your voice go up an octave. Don't roll your eyes, pull your arms in, or give other physical expressions of retreat.

And everyone else in class is thinking the exact same thing, and you'll be a heroine.

The prof might try to suggest that you "tone it down"' or something, if he's one of those "conflict avoiders."

Abigail I seriously wish I had half the balls you have!

I think there are a LOT of things I would like to do... but I don't know if in actuality I would actually do anything other than roll my eyes.

We always had what we called "one of those people" in every law school class but they didn't really interrupt instead they asked lots of questions and tried to prove how smart they were by getting into debates with the professors....

[L.Jane]

My masters program was VERY small. There was a girl in my program that wouldn't stop talking, would debate things, and more. Even though she was obnoxious in class she was a good person and becuase it was a small program in which we all had to work together we became "friends". For some reason becuase of that, whenever she started off down the path in which everyone wanted her to shut up, they would all look at me to get her to. By the end I could just give her a look and she knew with out me saying anything. Sometimes people just have no clue, or no filter and just need a little help. (Im always afraid its me, and remind myself, don't talk too much!)

[GrayMatterWife]

Abigail I seriously wish I had half the balls you have!

Reacting in a "ballsy" way works only if you have a natural ability to be ballsy (not to be confused with being a loud-mouth--ballsy--which you can be even though you are generally reserved or are an infrequent speaker). If you don't, you should choose a different method of handling it. Like almost any situation in which you are personally invested, it is best to handle the situation consistent with your own style and conscience. If you try to force yourself to be/say/do something against your nature, you probably won't handle it as well.

Back when I was in law school, my first-year Constitutional Law prof was leading a discussion of women serving in combat duty. There was women's rights freaks, screaming about how women can do everything a man can do (even though that is patently, biologically untrue). There were "no women in combat" wingdings, screaming that women would necessarily, in every circumstance, be a weak link. You know--both extremes were offering their takes. But everyone was attempting to be reasonable and rational.

Until this one guy--a chronic instigator--piped up.

He said something like: "I don't know why we're discussing this. Women can't serve in combat. Let's face it. They get their monthly periods. You can't be in the field and need to change your feminine hygene supplies."

The classroom was DEAD silent. I mean, SILENT. (A minor miracle for a law school class.)

Now, you have to have know this guy--he didn't REALLY, TRULY believe what he said. He was just looking to get a rise out of people. (Honestly, getting the facial reactions he did from the women's libbers made the whole thing really worth it--think Nancy Pelosi at the President's address a couple of weeks ago, when Joe Wilson shouted, "You lie!"--but even more pinched and dramatic.)

But, still...complete SILENCE.

Then some ballsy chick from the back of the class shouted, "Don't mind him. He's just worried that he'd forget to put his Tampax in his flack jacket."

(No, it wasn't me who made the comment--I only wish I could have reacted that fast!)

My graduate program was very small and there was a woman who couldn't stop asking questions too - luckily she was not my year and I only had a couple of classes with her.

Once, the professor got so frustrated with her that he yelled "That is out the window" and hurled the chalk eraser he was holding out the second floor window. That quieted her down at least in that class.

[L.Jane]

Once, the professor got so frustrated with her that he yelled "That is out the window" and hurled the chalk eraser he was holding out the second floor window. That quieted her down at least in that class.

That is hilarious!

[scrub-jay]

My graduate program was very small and there was a woman who couldn't stop asking questions too - luckily she was not my year and I only had a couple of classes with her.

Once, the professor got so frustrated with her that he yelled "That is out the window" and hurled the chalk eraser he was holding out the second floor window. That quieted her down at least in that class.

That reminds me of my elementary school days -- I had a band instructor who had no problem actually throwing a chalkboard eraser at a disruptive student. He kept many of them handy... It was hilarious!! (when you weren't the target of course).