Ohhhh your husband is a doctor. He is cute and smart. If you don't want him, I do

[Phoebe]

I think women were more interested in DH as a resident until they found out he had a girlfriend. When we moved here nurses were curious if he was single or not. Now he just asks all the nurses to babysit. In fellowship, we did get some calls at our house by a female claiming to be DH's girlfriend. I think it was one of the older nurses playing a joke on him. I thought it was pretty funny.

[Rapunzel]

It's funny how similar this thread is to one I posted about my SO and his experience with "hoochies" in the workplace... yet here there is nothing but support, while on my thread I get the 3rd degree regarding ANY of my opinions of these very same "professionals" you all are talking about here. (Granted you are also talking about pregnant, laboring women also which humors me to no end...)

I am really confused as to why my posts are constantly being beaten down... the only difference I can see is that I don't have a ring on my finger. Very very confused.

I think the differences are that this thread is talking about women hitting on husbands AND there have been no gross generalizations about "all" or "most" women in certain respectable professions (such as nursing) being doctor hunters.

The bottom line is that a marriage and the attempt to break it up is a very, very different situation from a dating one. AND, the OTHER bottom line is that there are a TON of nurses married to doctors on this site - and they don't like being referred to as "sleazy" for being nurses married to doctors.

[SuzySunshine]

I think the differences are that this thread is talking about women hitting on husbands AND there have been no gross generalizations about "all" or "most" women in certain respectable professions (such as nursing) being doctor hunters.

Yes, that. I was also going to say these are people that our husbands work with on a daily basis in a purely professional setting. I think its a lot different the drug reps who they see maybe once a month. As for the patients, that just comes with the territory, and are usually good for a laugh.

[oceanchild]

I actually think we get a thread like this every couple months, with varying reactions.

I generally kind of glance at them and move on, because it's so outside the realm of my experience. Maybe my husband is really unattractive. Or people know better than to chase after pediatricians. Or he's been married to/dating me so long that everybody knows it. But people chasing after him because he's a med student or a doctor is not something I've ever experienced.

I think we could all stand not to call people hoochies, let alone to reference an entire profession.

[Rapunzel]

But, Cheri, even the generalization that a woman goes into something like pharm sales because she's trying to "land" a doctor is completely out of bounds. Yes, I'm SURE there are some who do this. Definitely not all - and I would be surprised if it was even "most".

As to this particular topic: DH and I are both careful about our interactions with those of the opposite sex because we don't want to 1)lead anybody on, 2)give anyone else a reason to gossip, 3)provide a temptation for ourselves in the future. I know that both dh and I have been hit on in the past by his colleagues. It's happened. We've both made it known that it's unacceptable to the people doing the hitting on. And, in my opinion, it's not for ME to tell someone to cut it out with my husband - that is HIS job. And, if he values our relationship he will do it plain and simple. Same with myself - it is MY job to tell someone they are behaving inappropriately towards ME. And, dh should have every expectation that I would do so - out of respect for US.

See I still don't see the difference.
First off I never said that these drug reps were sleazy.
I also never took a swing at the nurses ever...

And the situations that I explained - I basically got the "well your boyfriend must be doing something to provoke this situation," or "sleazy attracts sleazy" or better yet "Get over it" attitude.

There is VERY little difference between my thread and this except that I was questioning the drug reps and you guys are accusing others of hitting on your SO's.

I am a real person who came to this board for support - thankfully off of the threads I have gotten support. I think instead of being able to feel the way I do about certain situations I have been attacked. It's quite sad. I am a real person with real feelings going through this insanely challenging medical journey that you all are on or have been on and I am made to feel that somehow my "complaints" or questions aren't valid.

[Rapunzel]

KMC, you asked for the differences and those were given to you. It's not for me to say whether you should like those differences.

well they weren't accurate... THAT is the reason I don't like the differences.

[Rapunzel]

The first reason is a fact: This thread is about women hitting on married men. Not boyfriends, not weekend-hookups, not crushes. Married men.

The second reason has a great deal of supporting evidence. I'm not going to quote the other thread because it is free for most (in the Call Room) to read - and, suffice to say, every person on that thread appeared to read it the same way as I did.

As I said, you might not like the differences - but these are they.

[Michele]

I think the biggest difference between the threads is that the drug reps "woo" as part of their jobs whereas patients who "woo" are way out of line.

Also re-reading the other drug rep thread, KissMyCheek didn't start the "sleazy rep" business...it was ShrinkJamie who said it first. Not to be pointing fingers to poke fights, but I wanted to say that I think KMC was a little unfairly treated in the Drug Rep thread. Why my two-cents matters at all? Yeah it really doesn't. But I feel like I don't contribute enough so I'm here....pot stirring.

[weeniegeniewife]

I certainly wasn't implying that all drug reps are sleazy! I was using my own experience when I worked in Hem Onc, and what the female (and a few male) drug reps would talk about with us when they came to the clinic. There were many, many discussions about whether so and so was single, and if they were married, they were still going to try to pursue them, etc. I have many friends who are drug reps and I've also dated a few myself in the past...it goes with the territory of working in a hospital sometimes. Most are ethical, moral people, some are not. This holds true for any person in any profession. I think we're more sensitive about reps and nurses because of all of the stories we all hear every day about affairs and whatnot. I can't remember who said it on the other thread, but it's a good point that if a doc wants to respond to the advances by a rep, fellow doc, nurse, whomever, then THEY are the sleazy one.

I remember once last year a nurse stopped DH in the elevator...literally STOPPED the elevator, and said: "I believe someone has a birthday coming up!!! Can I help you celebrate?". He held up his hand with his ring on it, and said: "I'm very happily married and have been for 2 years now. Everyone in the hospital knows this. The only celebrating I will be doing for my birthday is with my wife".

So yes, there are always those people who will flirt and try and push boundaries. But the bottom line is if you trust your mate, then that is ALL that matters.

"Ohh, Doctor, your husband is an Engineer? He's...er...smart..If you don't want him I think I might know of a website he can get on to possibly find someone who does.."

One can fantasize, right?

RB

[ladymoreta]

On the thread topic - I don't think that DH is very inviting to flirting. I thought he thought I was an idiot the first few weeks I knew him. He's gotten a lot better since then, but he's definitely not one that someone would have a "work husband" relationship with.

What I get a lot of is just general comments from people, male or female, about how lucky I am to be married to a doctor. Lots of the "ooh, you must be rich" or "you will be rich" (if they understand what residency is). They ask how long he has left, and I say three years. Two months later, they'll ask if he's done yet.
"Nope, he's still got a few years left."
"Really? Wow, he's been in training FOREVER!"
So then I tell them he's been in school for nine years (counting undergrad), and in residency for one year. So we feel like we're close to being finished.
Then comes the confused look, followed closely by, "Yeah, but he'll be done soon, and you'll be so rich!"

[weeniegeniewife]

but he's definitely not one that someone would have a "work husband" relationship with.

Speaking of "work husbands"...my DH has a few women at work who have introduced themselves to me at gatherings as Patrick's "work wife". These are nurses nearing retirement who love DH as a brother. They have looked out for him since he started at the hospital as an attending, and they absolutely have his best interests at heart. I love these women! Amazing, wonderful people who have been very, very supportive. They all friended me on FB as well and often razz DH in the OR. I fully support his work wives and often send goodies to them. Someone has to keep DH in line all day, and I am grateful to them!

[MarissaNicole]

They ask how long he has left, and I say three years. Two months later, they'll ask if he's done yet.

I cannot even imagine how annoyed I am going to get for 7-9 years when they keep asking if he is "done yet"

Rub it in why don't you....