Baby shower thank-yous etiquette

[Vishenka69]

Since we were recently talking about this, I wanted to make sure I'm not making a major faux pas and being discussed on other boards.

Last weekend while we were in NY, our friends threw me a surprise baby shower. The whole thing was organized online (via Facebook). Since no actual invitations were mailed out, I don't have everyone's address. I've already sent a mass "thank you" to the attendees via Facebook but now wonder if I should write individual emails to make it more personal. It was a small shower with just our close friends, who I also profusely thanked in person while there. I'm also planning on getting a nice New Year's gift for the couple who organized everything.

So the question is, do I write personal emails to everyone or go even a step further and find out their mailing addresses and send a hand-written card? Or have I done enough thanking already?

[MrsK]

Absolutely! Send individual thank you notes, handwritten if possible. I'd even e-mail people and ask for their mailing addresses.

[Meenah]

I'm with MrsK. Get their addresses and send thank you notes.

[Tenacious_D]

Ditto...try to get their addresses. A personalized written thank you note would be much appreciated by your friends.

[OrionGrad]

I agree with everyone else--a handwritten thank you note for each attendee is the way to go.

[medpedspouse]

I would write too. Also, if you get the addresses now you'll have them ready for the birth announcements.

[DCJenn]

Yep- handwritten is the way to go.

jenn

[Vishenka69]

You guys suck, I was hoping I can avoid the whole handwritten business. But I guess if everyone agrees, I have to do it.

[Vanquisher]

I don't agree. I think it's all overblown - the thank you card thing. Maybe I just have no manners, but I think a thank you in person, on the phone, over e-mail is FINE.

Signed,

The clearly unrefined hag

[rainbabies]

You guys suck.

crack me up

[alison]

I'm sorry to say it, but do handwritten notes. They don't have to be extensive, but just thank them for being there and for their gift.

A friend of mine who had her baby 2 months before me did not send me a thank you card for the shower gift that I gave her, and sent me a congratulatory email when my daughter was born. Not enough in my book. I'm not saying she needed to reciprocate, but in some instances electronic thank yous and congratulations(es?) are tacky.

[Vanquisher]

I'm sorry to say it, but do handwritten notes. They don't have to be extensive, but just thank them for being there and for their gift.

A friend of mine who had her baby 2 months before me did not send me a thank you card for the shower gift that I gave her, and sent me a congratulatory email when my daughter was born. Not enough in my book. I'm not saying she needed to reciprocate, but in some instances electronic thank yous and congratulations(es?) are tacky.

Why is that tacky? I am sorry. I really don't understand. If someone is thanking you, and the thanks are genuine, why does it have to come on stationary?

I was clearly raised in a cave or something, but I truly don't understand why someone's heartfelt thanks have to come through the mail?

If someone thanks me, that's enough for me. I don't need to be thanked the "proper" way. To me, expecting thanks for something in the way you want to be thanked is a little, well, pretentious.

Just be happy for someone and have a giving spirit. I don't give things to be thanked, and I just don't understand why it's so rude to thank someone in whatever form that thanks comes in. I would much rather get a heartfelt thank you over the phone than a "thank-you for the lovely gift" card, but if I get a card or a phone call or an e-mail it's all good.

[alison]

All I'm saying is that it isn't enough to send me an email in the instance where 1) I gave this gal a gift AND didn't hear anything and 2) had a baby myself 2 months later.

I don't have an explanation for why I feel strongly about handwritten notes and cards. I just don't. When I write a card, it's not because I'm trying to follow convention. It's because I REALLY want the person who gave me a gift to know what their present meant to me.

Plus, come on, Heidi. Cards are pretty and fun.

[rainbabies]

alison

It's because I REALLY want the person who gave me a gift to know what their present meant to me.

i agree. i have family that sends us money on our birthdays, hanukkah, and sometimes, just because...two of the three "regulars" don't have alot to give, but they always do. i make sure that they know with a card, that takes all of two minutes to write...that i (we) are *very thankful*. if it wasnt for them, we wouldn't survive this awesome-ness...
but, i digress.

[Vanquisher]

alison


i agree. i have family that sends us money on our birthdays, hanukkah, and sometimes, just because...two of the three "regulars" don't have alot to give, but they always do. i make sure that they know with a card, that takes all of two minutes to write...that i (we) are *very thankful*. if it wasnt for them, we wouldn't survive this awesome-ness...
but, i digress.

I get this. I really do. I just wonder why it has to come on stationary? Why can't I call or e-mail to tell someone how much I appreciate something?

I do thank people for gifts. I just don't send cards. There, I said it. I don't send thank you cards. I really am thankful for gifts I get though. I guess if you expect a card from me, then you shouldn't send me a gift.