Baby shower thank-yous etiquette

[DCJenn]

Because anyone can send an email. It demonstrates an extra level of thoughtfulness to put pen to paper.

and really? I would be offended if I got an email thank you. Maybe I'm old school- we already know I'm old!

Jenn

[MrsK]

I don't think the issue is whether a sincere thank you is sent via snail mail or e-mail. I think the issue is whether the person giving thanks has made an effort to demonstrate that their thanks is sincere. A verbal thanks to a group, thanks stated in a facebook status update, extremely brief/form-like e-mails, or generic xerox form letters do not count. Those are perceived as obligatory thanks and not sincere. Somebody made an effort to go to the store or internet or whatever, select a gift for you, spent money on you, wrapped up the gift, and mailed it or brought it to you. Then you should reciprocate with a reasonable show of graditude.

[rainbabies]

It's just how I was raised, is all.

Heidi

[Vishenka69]

I'm not against proper handwritten thank you notes, but would never think that a non-handwritten thank you is any less sincere. Plus I currently just don't have the time to find out everyone's address, go to the store to buy the cards, then go to the post office to get stamps. I didn't thank everyone in an update, but wrote a long and genuine message. I really don't want to offend anyone who gave us a gift. Just figured that in today's electronic world, since everyone was invited via the internet, I can thank them that way too.

[rainbabies]

Julie, you know your friends. If you think they're okay with an email/FB note, then great! I hope that your shower was nice! I saw the pics and not only do you look surprised but very lovely

[Pollyanna]

Just figured that in today's electronic world, since everyone was invited via the internet, I can thank them that way too.

I think this is fine (as people faint).

I think thank you's are very nice and have written more than my fair share but, I have also sat with women who felt it appropriate to chastise another person (not in the room) for not writing a "proper" note. You know, "so have you received a thank you note from Mary Jane, can you believe she has not sent them out yet...?". I think Miss Manners would find this inappropriate as well.

[Tenacious_D]

My biggest pet peeve is not receiving notification that a gift has been received. I sent a friend a gift for her sons birthday and had it mailed to her and it's now 2 months later and absolutely no word...no email..no facebook thanks...no note...NOTHING! That is more bothersome than anything because I feel awkward asking if she received it (I don't want to seem like I am keeping tabs on gifts) but I would like to know if it arrived in once piece.

I prefer written notes but a phone call or email will suffice.

I think it depends on the friend / the gift / the situation. Sometimes an email or phone call is good. Sometimes the situation calls for a written note. Oddly enough, if it's someone I don't know as well, I'm more likely to go for a written note.

I can't think of a situation where I've gotten torked off that I didn't receive a thank you note, but yes, I've experienced it "did they get it" worry. I also make a point of telling new moms that a thank you note is not needed and/or wanted (although I've never done that for a shower gift). I feel especially strongly that if you're giving someone a gift to help (dinners when a baby comes or someone dies, a donation in memory of someone), or at a very busy point in their lives (a new baby), then part of my gift is taking any "burden" off the recipient to turn back around and take the time to thank me.

[MrsK]

I think this is fine (as people faint).

*MrsK is swooning*

If it makes any difference (or provides incentive), I've had people send additional gifts after receiving a thank you note just because they are pleased and flattered by the note. Just today we received a second Babies R Us gift card from some of the ladies in DrK's home town after they got our letter thanking them for a $200 gift card they gave at the shower. Also, I've found that thank you notes are a nice way to renew or continue correspondence with people that you see less frequently -- say far away relatives that send wedding or baby gifts.