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in-laws=pita

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Phoebe View Post
    Mine are "those meddling kids" who have no boundaries and no respect.
    Mine too and my don't hit the evil level thankfully - they're good people they just don't get it
    Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by HouseofWool View Post
      They made you sit on the floor!?
      Oh yes. Everyone sits on the floor. They have 5 seats in their living room where everyone hangs out. Three couch seats, 2 loveseat seats. It was my choice to go running, so I didn't get a seat. But EVERYONE must come home for the holidays and everyone must sleep in their 4 bedroom house. With 14 adults and 3 dogs.

      I don't care how poor we are in the future, we're not doing that again.
      Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
      Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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      • #33
        Mine are nice, but have some boundary issues. Things usually come to head regarding 'traditional gender roles' versus 'our modern gender roles that work for our family' -- if DH cooks, hell hasn't frozen over. If he does some housework, hell hasn't frozen over.

        Boundary issues = telling DH that he shouldn't do certain things (because that's not a man's role), and cruising our food.

        I live with my ILs. Only 17 months to go!
        Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
        Professional Relocation Specialist &
        "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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        • #34
          Originally posted by wildfin View Post
          Mine are nice, but have some boundary issues. Things usually come to head regarding 'traditional gender roles' versus 'our modern gender roles that work for our family' -- if DH cooks, hell hasn't frozen over. If he does some housework, hell hasn't frozen over.

          Boundary issues = telling DH that he shouldn't do certain things (because that's not a man's role), and cruising our food.

          I live with my ILs. Only 17 months to go!
          Oh - that's right you mentioned that. Hugs to you both - cause its got to be hard. I only deal with such when we visit our ILs. Step-FIL pigs out at the table (just on meat and potato), belches, then retires to the living room to watch tv. DH usually sticks around and helps but then FIL calls him over...guess he needs the company.
          Finally - we are finished with training! Hello real world!!

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          • #35
            Originally posted by MrsK View Post
            Yup. My MIL is merely indulged and self-absorbed to an absurd degree with a hint of crazy.
            My MIL is quite self-absorbed also. That's where my DH got it. (OH! Did I say that?)

            She has very little time for her only 2 grandchildren (our kids). Only when they fit into her very busy social schedule.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Lynn View Post
              She has very little time for her only 2 grandchildren (our kids). Only when they fit into her very busy social schedule.
              Today, I received a call from my MIL. She said that she had received the invitiation to Sophie's first birthday party on the 30th. She spent severals days thinking about it because she belongs to a club that meets on the last Saturday of the month, but in the end her granddaughter's first birthday was her choice.

              I swear they are crazy-making. There was an f-ing decision to make? Give me a break.
              Kris

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              • #37
                Crazy-making is exactly what it is.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by HouseofWool View Post
                  Today, I received a call from my MIL. She said that she had received the invitiation to Sophie's first birthday party on the 30th. She spent severals days thinking about it because she belongs to a club that meets on the last Saturday of the month, but in the end her granddaughter's first birthday was her choice.

                  I swear they are crazy-making. There was an f-ing decision to make? Give me a break.
                  Remember my MIL asked us to reschedule our son's BIRTH because it was inconvenient for her. And when we said no, she asked others to campaign on her behalf.
                  Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by thegirlnextdoor View Post
                    Still no word from them. We have been together for 5 years and it has been like this since the day I met them. What do you do when your in-laws are such PITA's???
                    Does anyone else have family issues? In-laws that refuse to talk to you because you don't go back home every break?
                    Mine told us, "we'll just bow out of your lives if you don't want us around" What brought this on you ask, I was trying to nurse our 5 day old baby in the cry room (this was our first baby) and dh and I said "hi" but not much more when they came in because we were otherwise a bit busy and stressed. So after many more of those comments when we did not "behave" the way they expected dh just said, "okay, if you want to bow out we are sorry but go right ahead". Now a few times a year dh will get an email asking, "what happened". Seriously, I completely understand the stress this crap causes. Making sure you and your dh are on the same page about the relationship with your in-laws is a huge help. Sorry you are dealing with this, you are not alone.
                    Tara
                    Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Pollyanna View Post
                      Mine told us, "we'll just bow out of your lives if you don't want us around" What brought this on you ask, I was trying to nurse our 5 day old baby in the cry room (this was our first baby) and dh and I said "hi" but not much more when they came in because we were otherwise a bit busy and stressed.
                      I have the opposite problem. Today I received three phone calls and an email in a 7 hour span wanting to make sure we received a package that MIL knew UPS delivered to our house yesterday. I texted them after two phone calls to answer them and said we hadn't opened it. We got another phone call wondering how our daughter liked the gift eventhough she knows we haven't opened the box.

                      Originally posted by Pollyana View Post
                      Making sure you and your dh are on the same page about the relationship with your in-laws is a huge help. Sorry you are dealing with this, you are not alone.
                      ITA. Our ILs are our biggest disagreement.
                      Needs

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                      • #41
                        My MIL was a PITA almost weekly -- for sure monthly -- - for four year when we were married before kids. She was JUST nuts. She called crying about --- EVERYTHING. She went to therapy because of us. She wanted us to go to a "group secession" in another state to really "work" on OUR issues..... yadda yadda yadda.

                        I had a "talking to" with her while I was pregnant with our first child and told her to basically "knock the dramatics and all the self-involved BS OFF or she'd get limited time with said grandkid." She knew exactly what I meant and she knew I was serious.

                        She got the message. Heh heh heh.

                        She's "reasonable for her" now.
                        Flynn

                        Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

                        “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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                        • #42
                          My MIL is freaking mad. Truely insane, cruel and psycho. My parents are unfeeling selfish controling assholes but not quite as mad as mil. Good thing we keep limited contact with both. Last time mil visited dh got shingles from the stress. The less they are in our lives the better off we are!
                          Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                          • #43
                            My MIL means well but suffers from chronic poor judgment. I hate that she isn't just evil...it would be much easier to write her off rather than see the grey of everything.

                            Kelly
                            In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                            • #44
                              that describes my MIL as well.

                              Even going to far as to be the only people that I know who had not one but TWO Yugos.

                              Two YUGOS!!! Who buys one Yugo?

                              Jenn

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by DCJenn View Post

                                Two YUGOS!!! Who buys one Yugo?

                                Jenn
                                Tara
                                Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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