Moving to Texas

I am too excited right now. My dh will complete his PGYIII year next month and we are flying in to Texas to close on our house next weekend. He will be the Medical Director of a Family Health Center in East Texas. I am so proud. My dh and I are both native Texans so we are looking forward to being "home" again and starting a new chapter in our lives, as well as in our medical journey. I have one question or two, though- . My dh and I have lived on the East Coast our entire marriage ( 3 1/2 years) and away from family. How do we cope with being close to both sides of our families again? For example, because it was just the two of us all of this time, we usually spent the majority of our holidays at our house and we usually spend our leisure time together. Would the family expect for us to spend holidays and some weekends visiting them? Would they expect to come visit us often, too? My dh and I are content with the routine we have and I am asking these questions now so I can prepare for what is to come. It is a given that we will spend some holidays with family, but for the first year, we want to be in our new home alone, spending quality time together. I would appreciate any advice on what to expect and on how to make this transition as smooth as possible. Thank you all for the support you have given me throughout this process.
Texas, here we come

[Auspicious]

Wow, you're making me homesick--I would love to be in your shoes, and a few years from now I hope to be. I'm happy for you. I was just having a conversation with my parents this week about how my boyfriend and I would be more than happy to move to Chicago (where they and the rest of my family live) tomorrow, but circumstances prevent it for now.

It's hard to say what your family's expectations will be without knowing them or your relationship with them, but I think if you have definite preferences about how you want to spend your time I'd take the lead on establishing the boundaries and expectations.

What I would probably do would be to say something to my parents like "I'm really looking forward to being closer to the family! I picture us getting together about once a month [or whatever] or so . . . is that what you were thinking, too?" or "I like it'll be more convenient now for you to come over to our place. You would always call first, though, right?" (hmm, maybe we're big on the loaded questions in my family ) and if they had a different idea, explain why that wouldn't work for me and talk it out, etc.

In my experience, it's a lot better to establish the "rules" beforehand than it is to try to change a situation you can't live with once it's already started.

Good luck, and keep us posted--I'm eager to hear about how it all goes.

Wow! Perfect, perfect! Yes, we are close to both sides of our families;however, we are accustomed to being by ourselves(We really need to address the call first rule). Your scenarios give me something to work with. Thanks, again. If you can think of more examples, let me know. I agree, I believe in setting the ground rules up front, because once a situation has started, it's hard to do a 180.

Tonya --
That's great that you are thinking about these things before you move. Probably will prevent some miscommunication or hurt feelings. You must be a planner .
I agree with what Julie said. The only thing I would add is regarding holiday celebrations. Keep in mind what you will want to do when you have children (if you want to, that is). Shortly before we got married, a family I babysat for gave us some great learn-from-us type advice. Before they had children, they visited both of their families for Christmas and other holidays (usually meant a 90 minute drive between houses). After having children, both of their families wanted them at their house at the same choice times -- mostly Christmas eve and Christmas morning. Of course, it is harder to shuttle back and forth between houses with kiddos and they wanted to have thier own family holiday traditions as well. So, their advice to us was: establish your immediate family holiday traditions BEFORE you have kids so that it is a little easier for your parents/extended family to understand. We decided that we wanted to spend Christmas eve together at our house and that is what we did from our first Christmas on. It was a little hard for my husband's family to understand when they wanted our daughter (and us, but mostly her) at their house for Christmas eve but they have grown accustomed to it. Or at least they have quit complaining about it .
Good question and congratulations on moving back to Texas!

Thank you both for your great advice and I will definitely take heed! I will keep you posted on how things go.