Choosing a Doctor

So I have had the same medical insurance my whole life and I just discontinued it when my husband started residency as it is not available in our new state and I am now covered under his insurance. The thing is it was an HMO and I didn't really have to make any decisions, if I needed an appointment I called and they got me one, it was all through the same hospital, pharmacy etc. Now we have Blue Cross/Blue Shield and I am totally CLUELESS as to how to go about picking a doctor. Do I pick one that is at the hospital he works at? Or is that weird? How do you find "reviews" of doctors? And do I need to pick a family medicine doctor or just an OB/GYN (this is what I really need currently) or both? I feel really stupid asking this question, it seems like as a "doctor's wife" I should understand the system better, but I don't. Any suggestions? Thanks!
Ps: I have the same issue with choosing a dentist through our new dental insurance...

[Chrisada]

DH has always referred me to an attending OBGYN in his program. It's worked for us. My previous OBGYN who delivered our babies was one of his professors.

[Deebs]

I have also used OBs that DH works with (although he is not in OB, so it's a more casual relationship that an emergency room physician would be). I've been pregnant every time we've moved, so I've found an OB/Gyn, but not internist because an OB treats his/her patients for basically everything during pregnancy. I typically have asked women that DH works with who they go to.

[MDPhDWife]

I don't have BCBS, but I go to a private practice OB/Gyn. I'll email you the groups name so you can see if they are covered through your plan. As for dentists, I went to the provider directory on our insurance's webpage and picked one that was conveniently located. If my insurance was better and had more providers to pick from, I would've asked friends for a recommendation.

[MarissaNicole]

At my last job I coworkers for their recommendations for an allergist and it just so happened his wife was an internist. now that we are in a new town again I'll have dh ask around for a good internist and will then likely ask my internist to recommend an obgyn.

Where we lived before, we went with one of DH's attendings and had a great experience with that.

I have BCBS here, too, but I don't have recommendations for private practice Ob/Gyns. Different people want different things in a doctor, so I don't know what makes you comfortable. When we first moved here, I was terrified about the delivery, so we went with a midwife, and then I ended up needing a c-section anyway. (The midwife system is unique here. They work closely with the attendings.) For the following pregnancy (VBAC), we went with one of the Ob/Gyn residents who is very well-respected. A lot of the residents & fellows go with her, and she did a fantastic job. PM me if you want her name. The attending I would have recommended decided to do MFM, so he's a fellow now. I have a family medicine doctor I'd recommend, and I know he's respected for obstetrics, too. He was going to do my c-section if things had gone according to schedule. Again, pm me if you want his name. And maybe DH will have other suggestions.

As for delivering at the hospital where your DH works, I wouldn't think that would be weird, since he's in a different specialty.

Sorry, no recommendations on finding a dentist.

Among all the doc spouses I know, there seem to be two kinds-- those that are are weirded out or embarrassed to be seen by colleagues, and those who are comforted, so consider carefully which one you might be. Our family goes to DH's hospital for everything - peds, derm, eye, neuro, OB, ortho... and DH gets recommendations from people at work and we pick people based on that and it has served us well. Nurses and anesthesiologists tend to know more docs from OR rotations, so they can usually rattle off which OBGYN they'd trust if their wife needed a C-section, etc. There are many wives who purposely go to other hospitals to have their babies, but we felt safer being able to influence WHO I worked with, who did the epidural, etc, and you do get sort of preferential treatment as a spouse. The downside is that the wait times are usually longer than at a small private practice, but we know who we're getting and that they're good. (My 8 year old has epilepsy, and when it started, DH asked around, paged the peds neuro guy of choice and talked with him doc to doc, and he squeezed us into clinic within a week.)
As for the "being embarassed" potential, for the most part THEY've all seen everything, so it's really whether YOU can let it go, or not. After having our 3rd DD, I saw my DH's boss at a party and thought, ha, the last time I saw you , I was naked (he placed my epidural). If you are mortified by that kind of thought, you may prefer to go elsewhere and be anonymous. !
Anyway, good luck!
Jenn

[Thirteen]

I'm in Jenn's camp: I go into our network, and go by who DH or DH's colleagues recommend. In fact, the doctor doing my prenatal is a resident colleague of his, and a friend of mine. In my first appointment, she and I joked "Well, you have full access now, huh?" and we laughed about it.
My gyn (also recommended by DH) doesn't do OB anymore, and would have outsourced me to another amazing doctor that DH knows; however, I wanted to include my friend in this, and she's already a mother of 2.
Really, it depends on what you're comfortable with. The only thing that was slightly iffy for DH was the idea of male coworkers giving me a pelvic or something. I have avoided that, for his own weirdness, and it's all gravy.

[SoonerTexan]

BCBS does have a provider finder on their website to help you find in-network physicians. I actually went to a local mommy message board to get recs and it was very helpful. I ended up with a CNM in a practice of OB/GYNS that seems to be highly regarded in the area.

I think the weirdness factor is much more on my husband, I don't really care about it and I am not bashful in any sense of the word. He mentioned once that he wouldn't want someone he worked with to know I was pregnant before he did or that I was sick or whatever, but that seems to me to be a silly thing to worry about. I feel like it's easier to have everything all in one place and we live 2 minutes from the hospital, I can walk. I think it would be more comforting to know the people who are giving you your care and I am all about any "preferential treatment" I can get. I will shamelessly take advantage of the perks (because at this point it doesn't seem like there are a whole lot!) Thanks for all the advice, it's really helpful!

[oceanchild]

We have an insurance plan specifically for residents and their families (which I find weird, but it's really cheap, so whatever). I, too, have long been accustomed to an HMO telling me what to do - I prefer that! When I needed a doc with the new plan I called the University OB/GYN practice, and they basically treated me like the HMO did - assigned me a doc (well, a nurse practioner) based on what I was calling about. So you might try that if you'd rather not make a decision.

[Meenah]

Ask around the hospital. Ask the Labor & Delivery nurses who they have deliver their children. Ask the nurses with kids and the nurses who work in Pediatrics which Pediatricians they use. Ask everyone, especially the ER nurses, who they use for their Primay Care. You will get very honest opinions.

[DCJenn]

I usually picked my physician (back when I had a choice) by selecting the youngest female doc available. I figured they were less jaded, and more likely to be able to appreciate the menstrual cramps I had. And every male doctor I've ever seen has been a complete idiot.

Jenn

[poky]

I also went from an HMO to a more traditional plan, and was also lost. DH asked the (awesome) family doc he worked with for his longitudinal clinic sessions who she'd recommend, and she gave him the name of the doc SHE goes to, who happened to be transferring to a closer facility to our house within a month of when he asked. It's worked out well. For cardiology, I go to the guy DH liked the best who taught cardiology to the students at his school; he's always really late for appointments, but is a great doctor. For ob/gyn, I asked around, mostly 4th year students I knew who were going into ob/gyn; the two top recommendations for my issues were docs who only do clinic one day a week and were making appointments months out, so I went with the guy my PCP recommended, instead, and he's been just fine.

[HouseofWool]

And every male doctor I've ever seen has been a complete idiot.

Jenn

Does this include the esteemed Dr. Hussey? I assume it does since he is in DC and you are not.