The great match decision

[L.Jane]

My guy is gen surg, and while yes, it does suck, I think from all the warnings I got from this group, that it doesn't seem as bad as it could be. Then again, we did intern year long distance, and it seems to be getting better each year. Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of things that drive me crazy, and its no easy road, but if its all you know, and you have this group backing you up, its survivable. I think for me, it also helps that I am independent. I enjoy every third or fourth night that he is on call (which means he stays the night at the hospital). I get my me time. It makes me miss him and appreciate when he is here. (Though sometimes I tell him to go back to work when he is aggravating me )

As for matching, I cant say much because J and I were still in the first year of dating at the time and I wasn't exactly a factor in it. J just ranked the programs he found to be fitting to his style and needs and in locations he desired living. I think he only left one of the places he interviewed off the list. We matched at our fourth choice and honestly, I think its been a great match for him. We love his co-residents and while every program has its kinks, its been great overall.

Re: Charlotte: I lived there briefly and travel there fairly frequently for court appearances. It's a fun city. I'm not sure there are any must-see destinations for your visit, but I'd walk around Uptown to get a feel for the vibe. I'd be glad to talk about living there in more detail if you have questions-- just send me a PM.

[scrub-jay]

But we'll be coming off five years of long distance...so I'm accustomed to never seeing my fiancé anyway!

Yikes!!

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Eep! I obv. misspelled accustomed...

Yeah, we had all these great plans that he would follow me after his last year of college and my first year of law school...unfortunately, that didn't work out...but it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be (I thought it was the end of the world...he was a bit more clear-headed about it). But I think it made us stronger as a couple and hopefully gave us some skills to weather residency...

[scrub-jay]

Eep! I obv. misspelled accustomed...

I see no spelling error... *wink*

I bet your time away did teach you a thing or two, I'll be coming to you as soon as rotations start in our house. You should have joined us years ago!

[corn poffi]

Not sure how much I can add to this, since we haven’t been there, done that…my BF will be trying to match in gen surg this year. He’s considering a bunch of factors to make his list, but sometimes he’s considering drawing names out of a hat, which would probably reduce frustration later in life. ☺

Since you asked, some of the things he’s considering include:
- Location (he wants to be in an urban area not more than a days drive from our families). Although, he’s only interviewing at places that meet that criteria, so that helps
- Prestige of programs
- What the heck I would do during his residency
- Number of cases (on average) each graduate has…although with the new restrictions, this will probably change
- Number of peds cases the institution sees. He’s interested in possibly specializing in peds, but wants to get the opportunity to see a fair amount of peds cases before committing to fellowship.
- How up-to-date the hospital is/whether they use electronic records, etc.
- Research opportunities
- And, my favorite, what their white coats look like!

Okay, so some of those are pretty hilarious, but I think he’s just trying to have fun with the ridiculousness of it all. He’s not ranking at least one or two programs, but claims he would be “okay” with the rest. Ha! Nothing like settling for “okay”! Anyway, I think he just wants the whole match process to be over, and is more excited about knowing where he will be than actually matching at his top-ranked places.

There is one program that is courting him pretty hard, so that kind of makes things difficult. He’s not sure where to rank them, since it is one of his top programs, but since they appear to be really really really really interested, if he should rank them three or four, in case his top choices don’t want him. It's nice that it's boosting his fragile little ego, but it's making the ranking process a bit more difficult!

[corn poffi]

ha! I like how I start out saying "I'm not sure what I can add", then write a novel!

[madeintaiwan]

There is one program that is courting him pretty hard, so that kind of makes things difficult. He’s not sure where to rank them, since it is one of his top programs, but since they appear to be really really really really interested, if he should rank them three or four, in case his top choices don’t want him. It's nice that it's boosting his fragile little ego, but it's making the ranking process a bit more difficult!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS make YOUR rank list according to YOUR preferences and not based on the FEELINGS conveyed by programs. If this said program is your #3 then put them #3 and if you're #1 and #2 don't rank you to match, YOU will know instead of always wondering.

The military does things slightly differently but it doesn't matter what or how you rank your list because there's a level of back room politics that is indescribable. We knew two months before the match results were announced because the departmental secretary where he matched told him. I'm pretty sure the rank list had barely been submitted- those desicions were made based on which programs wanted which resident not which resident wanted which program.

Jenn

So true Jenn. The military makes a slightly different spin on medicine. There was only on NSG slot in the MILITARY not just army. SO had to interview at military and civilian, in case the slot was filled on the military side, he could still do a civilian if the army let him. And because there is only ONE place for NSG in the military, he had only on choice of where to go. Yes they have to match, but it's different for sure!

[Pollyanna]

ALWAYS, ALWAYS make YOUR rank list according to YOUR preferences and not based on the FEELINGS conveyed by programs. If this said program is your #3 then put them #3 and if you're #1 and #2 don't rank you to match, YOU will know instead of always wondering.

YES YES YES!!! NEVER EVER believe anything a program tells you, EVER. While it might appear that they are courting your BF remember that they are likely courting a whole bunch of candidates in the same manner. Trust me that there are plenty of times a program will do this and then rank that candidate very low. You are not special (no offense), programs care nothing about you specifically, they do what they can to get the best class, ethics be damned. Make sure your BF ranks on what he wants and do not take any type of "courting" into consideration.

[DCJenn]

I've always enjoyed the "choice of one" option. Although it does alleviate one level of stress- you know if you're accepted, exactly where you're going!

J.

[spotty_dog]

DH knew he was a competitive candidate in a non-competitive specialty.

Yeah, mine too. AOA, perfect grades, 99th %ile board scores, research, attendings loved him...EM was not as competitive as most, we figured he'd be writing his own ticket. Oh, how we agonized over how to rank #1 and #2!

We matched below the fifth spot on the list. Don't remember any more if it was #6 or #7, we didn't actually pay any attention to how we ranked that half of the list, because we knew that even on the odd chance he matched below #1, he would CERTAINLY not go below #3. Sometimes the Match is a harsh bitch mistress. But sometimes even competitive candidates might not be the best match at their chosen programs. And they might be a great fit at a program they hadn't anticipated -- which was the case for us, where DH got excellent training and found the absolutely PERFECT attending job for him. Sometimes it all works out in the end.

[ides]

YES YES YES!!! NEVER EVER believe anything a program tells you, EVER. While it might appear that they are courting your BF remember that they are likely courting a whole bunch of candidates in the same manner. Trust me that there are plenty of times a program will do this and then rank that candidate very low. You are not special (no offense), programs care nothing about you specifically, they do what they can to get the best class, ethics be damned. Make sure your BF ranks on what he wants and do not take any type of "courting" into consideration.

YES! They can be very deceptive! Ignore the static!

I should also mention that some gen surg programs are more malagnat than others, but the culture in general is pretty rotten, ruthless & heartless. It wasn't too bad on me until we had a kid, but it's always been crazy & cruel, and f**kef up for dh.

[corn poffi]

Thanks everybody...I agree with ya'll, but I think my BF has a hard time ignoring the noise. I keep trying to tell him they are probably doing that to a bunch of people, and that he shouldn't think about it. I'm just afraid he's not listening to me! My guess is he'll rank it #1 or #2, but who knows. The frustrating part is that I don't know if he would have ranked it as high if they didn't tell them how much they loved him. I don't want him ranking it higher just for that reason, you know? I told him to think about how he would feel about it if they treated him like all the other places did. He claims it would be the same, so whatever. In the end, it's his list, so he can do whatever he wants with it.

In the end, it's his list, so he can do whatever he wants with it.

Maybe I'm a control freak but if it impacts where you are going to live it should be YOUR list too...