what would you do?

[TigerLily]

I don't know if any of you have had experience with this, but I knew either way I could find some opinions here!
Our next baby will probably be born during my husbands 2nd year of residency, and will be born at his hospital.
If you were in this position, would you ask that residents not be included in your treatment/delivery?
I personally feel like it might be a little bit awkward, especially if -God forbid- anything were to go wrong. But my husband worries that depriving the resident on OB call of a learning experience is bad and that they are all doctors and therefore don't find things like that awkward.

With our first baby I did ask not to have any med students or residents. Of course it was mostly because I didn't want med students that were friends with us there while I was delivering. And I didn't want to have to yell profanities at friend who walked in in the middle unexpectedly. And my husband said that nobody ever asks that. and that it is weird. ugh.

[Vanquisher]

Your husband is wrong. You don't need your hoohaa paraded around in front of his colleagues. If it were at a different hospital - fine. I get that they have to learn, but my husbands buddies or people he sees or I might see at a function do not need to be doing cervical checks on me. Not out of line AT ALL. I did it in med school too (4th year). The only reason he thinks nobody else does that is that not that many residents wives that he knows personally enough to talk to about it have had babies at that hospital. WE ALL DO IT. Sure, I let a nursing student do a check on me. That's different. I'm with you. Tell your husband that when he wants to push a lemon out of his penis, he can decide whether or not he wants residents involved in his care. Your hoohaa, your perogative.

[Michele]

This topic has been discussed a few times, so there will be helpful advice. . I only delivered once at Russ' hospital. I was too out of it to request anything, but felt really weird when I went to a NICU/ID follow up appt and the med student for the appt was the same one scrubbed for my C-section and I had never seen her before but she knew me and Russ remembered her. But I was (unfortunately) an "interesting" case....and so was my son.

[diggitydot]

There are TONS of babies born in this residency and since DH's program does OB, there is ways a resident call. The standing protocol is that NO resident delivers another resident or their spouse unless it's an emergency or precipitous delivery.

[GrayMatterWife]

I completely agree with Vanquisher re: your husband being wrong.

You should do what YOU makes YOU feel most comfortable. If your husband has issues with that, tell him that you'll deliver to a resident provided that he bends over and hangs his anus out on display at the same time.

That being said, I delivered all three of my kids at the hospital where DH worked and attendings from ANTH and OBGYN that he (and I!) knew were there. And heaven's only knows what they saw. I didn't care. But that does NOT mean that you should feel comfortable with it!!!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

When the time comes to have kids, there will be no med students in the room, but residents will be allowed. Since DH hardly ever sees the OB docs/residents, there is very little chance for us to run into them ever again outside of the hospital. I'm perfectly fine with residents doing what they need to do - they're doctors, not tourists (as opposed to med students).

[Deebs]

I had DD #1 delivered by three residents, and I'm SO glad I did. The OB resident who was the primary on my case was DH's junior a month before. He basically had the attitude of "whatever your wife needs, Sir," and it served me well. The scar from my first c-section was virtually non-existent (my next OB was unbelievably impressed) because he literally sewed it as meticulously as you could imagine. The chief on that night was/is a great physician and definitely had more current experience than most of the attendings, and the junior was basically just an extra set of hands that I wouldn't recognize if I bumped right into her. My biggest disappointment was the anesthesiologist (I did insist on an attending because both residents who came up to see me, I knew fairly well, personally). He was horrible and I should have just let the residents do their job.

I wouldn't let someone from DH's program be in the delivery, and it was against hospital policy for that to happen.

I allowed residents when I had my boys. Dh is a pathologist, his colleagues would not have been involved. I might have felt differently if he were an ob resident.

[mommax3]

Had my first when DH was an MS II, at a community hospital where there were no residents. Had my second at the end of DH's intern year in an OB/Gyn program. My doc was an attending, but I was admitted by a resident in DH's program and had a resident for anesthesiology. My third was born 2 months after residency ended, when DH was a new attending (and one of two OBs) at an Air Force hospital. His partner delivered me. All of the experiences were fine. That said....you get the only vote here. There are many times when you and your family will have to take a back seat to medicine, but this isn't one of them.

[Thirteen]

My doc is a resident, but also a close personal friend and colleague of DH's. However, she's female - DH said he wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else in his program but her. I think it's a personal choice - do what works for you.
No uterus? No opinion. - FRIENDS

[ides]

We requested no resident involvement & had a double attending c-section. Dh doesn't know any of the ob/gyn residents well but he didn't want anyone "learning" on me.

[oceanchild]

When (a theoretical when, at this point) we have a baby it will most likely be at the university hospital, and I intend to let residents and med students be there. But I agree with everybody else that it's your call!

[TigerLily]

ok some of you guys seriously have me giggling.
I should probably clarify and say that my husband didn't argue the subject, he totally understands that it is totally up to me. I was just questioning myself, and wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy. He is a family medicine resident so there is always one of his close coworkers on call. There are only 21 residents so we know them all pretty well, I just don't want them to know me THAT well!
My first delivery was complicated and our daughter was rushed to the NICU at the Children's hospital. I think more than the privacy issue, I would really hate for one of our friends to feel in any way responsible or involved if anything were to happen again.

[peggyfromwastate]

My 2 Births with residents involved were very different. The first was a disaster and I really regret not insisting the attending be woken up. But I had an oxygen mask on and my dh was sent out of the room on admin bs. The second delivery was fine. I honestly can't remember the resident who delivered my baby but I know it was a resident. No issues there, and I remember an attending checking in on us too.

I thought I'd have a lot more say over who delivers and who is in the delivery room. But it didn't feel that way in reality.

[SuzySunshine]

I suspect because your husband is FM you'd have a different opinion then me but since my DH is NSG he knew some, but I didn't, the other residents in the room. He knew both the OB Chief and the Anesthesia resident and staff and the Pediatrician staff very well, I didn't know any of them from Adam and as Deb said it all served me well. He sat there and bantered with the anesthesia resident while she did my epidural and it actually took my mind off of the whole thing. My daughter was born in the OR with forceps so having this great peds team that DH knew was actually very comforting. The OB Chief had been an intern with my husband so they didn't know each other well but while he directed everything to me he also talked to DH if he felt something needed more clarification on a medical level. When my 2nd was born at the same hospital DH didn't know any of the team, staff or residents and it went just as fine but I actually didn't feel it was as stress free even though it was an easier delivery with no complications. The only person I really remember from my 2nd delivery was the nurse.