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Our forums have migrated to Facebook. If you are already an iMSN forum member you will be grandfathered in.

To access the Call Room and Marriage Matters, head to: https://m.facebook.com/groups/400932...eferrer=search

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Aren't we lucky!

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  • Aren't we lucky!

    Amen sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My girls are older, this is a second marriage, but the schedule problems are the same. I don't know what I would do without this site (Thanks Kris).
    Luanne
    Luanne
    wife, mother, nurse practitioner

    "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

  • #2
    ummmm Amen. People couldn't understand my trepidation over having a second child. They were like, just have a second kid. It will all work out. This came from people whose spouses worked normal hours, shared in daycare dropoffs, cooking, activity chauffering, etc. Let's me understate the case when I say that until the last few weeks (the new research duties), our lives have been far from normal during hubby's surgical residency.

    The truth of the matter is that I have been through so many experiences like the ones that you have mentioned and will be going through them again after the lab years. I call it quasi-single parenthood. It is fabulous to have people who understand what it is like. Cheers to all of us.

    Kelly

    Kelly
    In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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    • #3
      Here, here! Three cheers for the iMSN website!

      It has taken a long time for family and friends to "get" what the med school and, in particular, the residency life are like (and there are some we are still working on ). I'm sure you have gotten the "just tell him he *has* to come home!" (when he is on call) type of comments. Part of my urgency in explaining how this stuff works to them is that I don't want them thinking my husband is some sort of family-ignoring jerk. His hands are really tied. And then there is the whole *misunderstanding* about what a Dr.'s salary is versus a residents salary. I think this woman I was taking art classes from thought Eric had me on some sort of rediculously small allowance plan or something. She couldn't understand why I couldn't just take more classes and why it was such a huge splurge for me. Ah well...

      And as to having another child.....I just told my brother that I am pregnant (I've been trying to get in touch w/ him for three weeks ). He rather critcally asked, how are you going to do this financially? For a split second, I felt so irresponsible! My younger brother taking me to task like I was broke and having my 10th child!! If we waited for the "right" financial time to have kids....we'd be waiting a long, long time and bryn would be, like at least 8 years old. I want her to experience the joys of having a sibling....has anyone else gotten this kind of flack for having kids??

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      • #4
        Well said! I don't know what I would do without this place!!! I sometimes try to vent to my friends about various things stressing me out with my husband's schedule and usually the conversations turns into, "but you guys have all that money to look forward to!". Considering we will be pushing 300K in debt when he finishes (not counting our house!!) I seriously don't see things changing anytime soon!
        Awake is the new sleep!

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        • #5
          Oh Sue I know what you mean. Isn't it amazing what people think. I get crazy comments all of the time. Usually it is "why do you work, you are married to a Doctor?" This is a second marriage for us both. When we got married it was worse than just getting out of school with loans. Not only did we have debts from divorces, alimony, child support etc, we also were each having to put a child through colege. Now I have two in college. It truly is crazy.. I love him and wouldn't change our relatiuonship, but the money pit just gets deeper!! I put a root canal on a credit card this week, and they looked at me as if I were crazy.
          Luanne
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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