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When to start freaking out...

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  • When to start freaking out...

    J was on call last night. I left for my afternoon job at 2:15. Its pretty typical that he isn't home yet but he usually walks in by 3. I walked in at 5:45 to a fianceless apartment. I tried calling him. No answer. Another thirty minutes later (now) I tried calling him again. Still no answer. The phone isn't going straight to voicemail meaning its still on. He should have been home hours ago. Yes, I am doing that stupid thing where I am imagining him on the side of the road after crashing from falling asleep at the wheel. Part of me knows that he probably did the bonehead thing of working a full day post call, way over the thirty hour limit. We are on 36 at this moment. But the other side of me is just ready to start freaking out.
    -L.Jane

    Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
    Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
    Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

  • #2
    Can you page him? I always found that far more effective.
    Tara
    Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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    • #3
      Don't freak out, yet. Try paging him- he may have lost his phone or it may be in a locker or a bag somewhere.

      Jenn

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      • #4
        I third the paging - when all else fails try that. Do you have an emergency code? Like when I need DH NOW I page him with our number followed by 911 and he knows that the only reason to not answer it is if he's dead! This is a case where I would page him regularly once and give him another 30 minutes then I'd use the emergency page.
        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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        • #5
          I can't find his pager number. I saved it in some file on my computer and it has been a year since I needed it and now I can't find it. I am kicking myself for not putting it in a safer place. I should have put it with all my other important papers. I am going to keep looking for it. Hopefully he walks in in the next thirty seconds. I was hoping if I posted this I would be embarrassed because he would walk in right after posting. That didn't happen.

          The moment I typed this and pressed enter, I found his pager number. Yay for search.
          Last edited by L.Jane; 05-10-2011, 05:37 PM. Reason: update
          -L.Jane

          Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
          Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
          Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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          • #6
            You can call the hospital and ask to have him paged. You can also call the unit he's on (if you know) and do the same. I'm sure he's okay -- I'm a worrier just like you are.

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            • #7
              Thanks guys. He finally just called me. Was scrubbed in Surgery since before three. Why the hell they want a Dr. post call on no sleep in a surgery is beyond me. He has admitted to almost dozing off while watching post call before. So friggen stupid. I held it together until he called and then I just fell apart on the phone. So embarrassing.
              -L.Jane

              Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
              Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
              Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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              • #8
                I've done that. It's times when something really seems off that I freak. I remember the last time that happen two years ago. He was MS4 and decided to study really late at some library he'd never been to before. Didn't leave me a note, call, nothing. He didn't have reception inside the building. So embarrassing....
                Wife to PGY5. Mommy to baby girl born 11/2009. Cat mommy since 2002
                "“If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there”"

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by L.Jane View Post
                  Thanks guys. He finally just called me. Was scrubbed in Surgery since before three. Why the hell they want a Dr. post call on no sleep in a surgery is beyond me. He has admitted to almost dozing off while watching post call before. So friggen stupid. I held it together until he called and then I just fell apart on the phone. So embarrassing.
                  I'm glad J is ok! I'm a worrier too and I totally get nervous if I don't hear from him/see him around the proper time for the type of call he is on. I totally remember freaking out the first time he was on PICU call, which was 30 hours. Every previous time he was on call, he was home by 9 AM and on this one he didn't come home until 1:30 PM. Guess who was an angry, crying mess when he got home because his cell was off and he didn't respond to pages? This chick.

                  Don't beat yourself up too much
                  Event coordinator, wife and therapist to a peds attending

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                  • #10
                    I totally empathize with you. Was so glad to see you had heard from him by the time I found this post.

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                    • #11
                      Totally understandable! So glad he finally called. Reminds me of a story teaser on the news tonight about a semi in a car accident. "The driver had been on the road for 12 hours after only 5 hours of sleep!" DH and I had a good laugh at how scandalized they'd be if they knew how much sleep their surgeon had gotten after working 24 hours...
                      Laurie
                      My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                      • #12
                        I've had that freak out too. Usually, I start to worry that a patient attacked him or he's being held hostage or something like that. Glad your DH is okay.
                        Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                        • #13
                          I'm happy to read everything is ok.
                          PGY4 Nephrology Fellow

                          Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.

                          ~ Rumi

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                          • #14
                            I have my own personal freak-out if DH is really late and hasn't called or sent me a text, too. We only live 10 minutes from the hospital, but there are lots of places he could end up in a ditch or in the river if he fell asleep at the wheel. That, and he's already not the most attentive driver, anyway.

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                            • #15
                              I had no idea what this thread contained but when I saw the title "When to freak out" I mentally thought, Hmmm if I feel like it might be a good time to freak out, I generally do!
                              In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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