asking guests not to clean?

[TigerLily]

Okay, in your opinions, what is the appropriate thing to do here..
We are in a Bible study every other week, we usually alternate houses, but we are going to meet at our house for a few months so we don't have to pack up the baby and the kid and blah blah blah..
So..here is the issue, there are about 10 adults, and 8 kids who come. We usually just let the kids play in the playroom while we talk. (it is caddy corner to the living room so we can kind of see them, and definitely hear everything, totally safe)
Anyway, last night after we were done, I went into the playroom and it was a COMPLETE disaster. I mean...every. single. toy, crayon, sticker, stuffed animal, little person, lego etc...was out. I wasn't really all that worried about it, because everything in the playroom has a place and it's pretty easy to clean up. But, everyone insisted on staying to help clean up, even though I was saying no no please don't, everything has a place, I can clean it. Please just do what you need to do to teach your kids a lesson in helping and then stop and leave! but they couldn't. And then today I had to go through EVERYTHING that we own and put it back in its place. and we have PLENTY of toys.
Is there a nice way besides what I tried to make people not clean up after themselves? or do I need to spend hours every week reorganizing everything. or...just not host Bible study here anymore? hmm

[DCJenn]

I say take the help and don't worry about whether everything gets back to the exact right place because it'll all end up out again the following week. Put away is better than not put away, after all!

J.

[Deebs]

I would say, if everything has a place, start labeling the places. You'll thank yourself later when you're trying to get your kids to clean up on their own. I would never leave a house trashed - even if it's just a playroom, and even if you told me to. My kids make the mess, then they will clean it, with my help.

[Momo]

What Jenn said. I used to be you Zoe...I had to learn to let go of wanting to control the way others help me. Seriously having the room picked up is way better than not having it picked up OR having to clean it up all on your own!

[peggyfromwastate]

I remember when I labeled toy bins. Years ago... Now my slightly OCD dd10 will organize out the toys. The only time I do a sort I also do a purge and get rid of at least 25% of the toys. So the kids kinda like to clean up!!

[diggitydot]

Truly, I'd make my kids put shit away, too. They're not allowed to destroy ANY house and not stop and clean up.

[BonBon]

I'm in the camp of staying and cleaning too. There's no way I'd leave a house a wreck - ESP when said house has a new baby!! I agree with labelling, and how about you put away at least half the stuff? And remind the kids when they come over to put a toy away before selecting a new one. This is probably why I never have anyone over, lol.

[Pollyanna]

I say take the help and don't worry about whether everything gets back to the exact right place because it'll all end up out again the following week. Put away is better than not put away, after all!

J.

Yes, this. Let go and let them help you.

[TigerLily]

I know I know..I always make A help clean up at the other houses. She knows where everything goes here, but they don't. The kids are 1 and 2 year olds with one 8 year old. (who is the big sister to 2 of the little ones)
Maybe we could put the 8 year old in charge of reminding the little ones to put toys back? Or providing a little bit of direction in how they play. I don't really know anything about 8 year olds, but she seems really responsible. Maybe I could pay her like 5 dollars to be in charge? like babysitting?
I do appreciate the help, and I would probably be really annoyed if everyone just left without helping. I should try labeling. Maybe if I label with little pictures instead of words the little ones will catch on.

[DCJenn]

Oh. yeah. not a chance with a group of one and two year olds. The fact that they're doing anything is amazing. Developmentally, they're just not there yet. Your daughter knows where they go because it's rote to her.

J.

[BonBon]

Agree with DCJenn. There's not a chance they'll put stuff away. I think paying the 8 year old a small amount ($5 prob a bit much...) to be "in charge". My 7 year old is occasionally in charge and he does a GREAT job.

[spotty_dog]

I ran around with a digital camera and snapped photos of what was in a bin. For example, I grabbed a selection of 2-3 cars and trucks for the cars and trucks bin, or a few shapes of logs for the Lincoln logs. Then threw the photos into a word processor and added captions and printed them, cut them out, used clear packaging tape to paste them onto the bins. Now everybody knows where everything goes: my kids as well as their playdate friends and parents, even my husband can help out most effectively!

[SoonerTexan]

I ran around with a digital camera and snapped photos of what was in a bin. For example, I grabbed a selection of 2-3 cars and trucks for the cars and trucks bin, or a few shapes of logs for the Lincoln logs. Then threw the photos into a word processor and added captions and printed them, cut them out, used clear packaging tape to paste them onto the bins. Now everybody knows where everything goes: my kids as well as their playdate friends and parents, even my husband can help out most effectively!

Genius. I wonder if this would work with my husband's clothes armoire. "PANTS" "SHIRTS THAT AREN'T POLOS DOOFUS"

[alison]

We recently had dinner guests with a toddler who is M's age. He completely trashed our patio (trampled over plants), walked on our patio cushions with dirty shoes after turning on the hose, and took a toy shovel and piled rocks onto the table and chairs.

Inside, he walked onto our sofa with his shoes on and broke two of M's train cars.

His parents didn't offer to clean up, didn't offer to replace any of the broken/trashed things, and we were extremely pissed.
They are not welcome in our house anymore.

I will say though that you should let people help you, and it is a gesture that we would have welcomed. My husband would have redone everything after the guests had left; it's really nothing to be irritated by--at least they offered!!!

[diggitydot]

We've had guests with satanic kids, too. They're not invited over anymore and DD1 refuses to even consider babysitting their hell children, no matter how many times they've asked.TTYe other day we revisited the subject and DD1's comments were, "I just don't understand how two such smart people can just utterly fail parenting," Yikes. But she's kinda right; those kids are completely beyond the pale.

I actually stop all kids when it's time for company to leave and tell hem that it's time to clean up. Our three stooges are old enough to direct where things go, so I don't redo anything. Truthfully, even if they weren't, I still wouldn't so long as it isn't messy.