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First Christmas Party...

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  • First Christmas Party...

    DH's M1/M2 christmas/Holiday party was last night and I convinced him to go. He actually had a lot of fun. I was glad to find out that he has a lot more friends there than I thought he did and most of the people there were really nice and welcoming. It was so nice to meet people he studies with and put names with faces. I made our sweaters for the "tacky sweater" part of the party and everyone loved them. However, the others seemed fake nice/uppity. It was strange. Like at one point, I was trying to work my way though the crowd and this group of girls were standing next to where I was trying to get through and one of them said something like "I like your sweater" (because it was a tacky sweater party). So I stopped and said, "Thanks, just hot glue and garland!" or something like that. Then they sort of stared at me. So I said, "Hi, I"m Holly, I'm ***"s wife." and they went around and said their names. Then they sort of stared at me some more. Then one of them said, "We're all glad to be done with first semester." And I said, "Yes, I am glad you are done as well", which sort of got a half-hearted chuckle. Then there was more staring. So I was like, "Ok, got to go find ***." It just felt really creepy, like they were scrutinizing me and I just felt like I was back in middle school. I have done the catty girl thing before (did cheerleading in high school, ha!), but I'm 10 years out from high school now and just figured if you're old enough to be in med school, you should act like an adult. I brought it up to DH and he said, "Yeah those girls are bitches. I don't talk to them." Ok? I'm imagining that this is sort of how it's going to be for a while? *sigh* Anyone else had this experience? Tips?

  • #2
    ugh. Sorry you ran into that. Its amazing how some people don't every grow up and you are going to find them in every phase of life. I don't deal with those people. I stay away from them if at all possible and surround myself with people who are genuine. Easier said then done though.
    -L.Jane

    Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
    Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
    Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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    • #3
      Very true. In their defense, they looked really young, so perhaps they still have some growing up to do. I just figured, if you're going to be bitchy, why even talk to me in the first place, yk? Whatever. Most of the people were amazing.

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      • #4
        I'm glad you had a mostly good time! I'd just try to avoid them in the future. Don't put any effort into them - people might think you want to be a part of their catty group!
        Laurie
        My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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        • #5
          There are assholes everywhere. Some are med students.

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          • #6
            I guess this is what I get for being out of the working world for over a year, lol. I"ve been sheltered.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by hollyday View Post
              Very true. In their defense, they looked really young, so perhaps they still have some growing up to do. .
              Age this means nothing. No matter what job or area you go into people can just be catty. I have experienced people like that in many jobs and social circles I have been in. Its sad. I could tell you stories from my last job as a teacher in an elementary school and some of the rudeness and clique activity that went on.
              -L.Jane

              Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
              Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
              Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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              • #8
                I agree with everyone about assholes being everywhere, unfortunately. But, I'm really glad you got to meet some of the nice people that associate with your hubby. Screw the catty ones!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by diggitydot View Post
                  There are assholes everywhere. Some are med students.
                  Preach.
                  And then, they become a-hole residents, and a-hole attendings.


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                  Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
                  Professional Relocation Specialist &
                  "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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                  • #10
                    I didn't exactly click with most of the female med students at DH's school. They weren't horrible bitches (well, mostly), but just not my kind of peeps. It wasn't until residency when I started hanging with his colleagues. They're smart, funny as hell, get my twisted sense or humor, and are very nice. I will miss them dearly when we move next summer.

                    Truthfully, a lot of the women in DH's med school were kind of high school cliquey and I don't play that shit so we didn't gravitate towards each other.

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                    • #11
                      There will always be mean girls from the third grade, in college, at the PTA, and in the nursing home. My mom is 67 and still has frenimes. When my grandma was 93, there were mean girls who made fun of her at bingo.

                      When DrK was an intern, we hosted a party at our house and some of the cliquy girls from his program weren't friendly to me - and they were in my house drinking my booze.

                      Be the bigger person and don't let them get to you.
                      Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by diggitydot View Post
                        I didn't exactly click with most of the female med students at DH's school. They weren't horrible bitches (well, mostly), but just not my kind of peeps. It wasn't until residency when I started hanging with his colleagues. They're smart, funny as hell, get my twisted sense or humor, and are very nice. I will miss them dearly when we move next summer.

                        Truthfully, a lot of the women in DH's med school were kind of high school cliquey and I don't play that shit so we didn't gravitate towards each other.
                        This has been my experience as well.

                        I only got close to a few of DH's female classmates in med school. Two of them were older and one was my age. There was a fourth but she had some weird personality stuff going on; I believe she was attempting to get a little too close to DH. First and only time I've ever dealt with that and I sure as hell didn't make her my BFF (just kept her at arm's length ). The rest of the girls just weren't the type I wanted as friends, plus I still had lots of friends from college in the area, so I wasn't really trying too hard.

                        In residency, DH works with a lot of women and I flove pretty much all of them. There are 2 or 3 that still seem a little catty to me, but they've mellowed out as time has passed. I will really miss a lot of these people next year - they've been supportive, inclusive, and all around great friends.

                        hollyday, there will always be a lot of chicks out there like those you encountered at the party. Now that you're getting a picture of the social dynamics of your DH's class, get to know the peeps that your DH spends time with and likes. I'm sure you will like them too and perhaps meet even more nice people because of them. And yes, age and life situations have a lot to do with their maturity levels; hopefully you will find someone there who is in a similar boat. If not, that's why you have us.
                        Event coordinator, wife and therapist to a peds attending

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by hollyday View Post
                          Anyone else had this experience? Tips?
                          Just walk away if it isn't your scene.
                          PGY4 Nephrology Fellow

                          Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there.

                          ~ Rumi

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                          • #14
                            Yeah just ignore them. You don't have to like everybody in his med school class. Heck, you don't even have to pretend to like them!
                            I'm just trying to make it out alive!

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