Just need some support

Hello all,

I am new to this forum and am hoping to find some support. I just moved from Philadelphia to Seattle to join my fiance, who has been here for a year already. I am fortunate in that I found a job before I moved here, and am able to work part time while I finish up my thesis for my Physics PhD. I am fortunate in that I found a wonderful man who is kind and supportive, when he has the energy to be so. Unfortunately, of course, he often doesn't. Not knowing anyone in this city, I am trying to make friends but the person I really want to spend time with is my beloved, but his schedule doesn't allow it.

So I am really lonely, I miss my friends in Philly. I am overwhelmed with setting up house, planning a wedding, writing my thesis, and figuring out my new job all by myself. How do you deal with this loneliness? This feeling that, yes I do have a partner in life but for the most part I am on my own?

I want to be supportive to my fiance and not burden him but I am really really lonely.

Thanks for your thoughts,
Julia

[MrsSz]

You came to the right place! You will find so much support here that you will wonder what you've done without us

[Meenah]

Welcome, so glad you found us.

[Curegirl]

Hi, I'm new here too! Welcome and hugs to you!

[ladymoreta]

Welcome! It's so hard, especially right after a move before you have your social support. I'm going through that right now, too. The best thing is to jump in and make friends quickly. You can try to contact spouses/SOs of coworkers he likes, or if you're religious, I've found getting involved in the church is a great way to meet people. It will get better soon, and this site will help!

[L.Jane]

I did the same thing. Long distance, moved for him, got married two years later. Its rough. I used my local religious social group and meetup.com to help me have a social life. It stinks but you learn to make plans and then if the Signif is available he either joins or has some "me time" As others have said. You have come to the right place. Welcome to the party.

[Cinderella]

[corn poffi]

Welcome! What's his specialty?

[medpedspouse]

Welcome! You found the right place - the majority of us have had to move (some several times) and been in a new town without a support network. We get it! Post often so we can get acquainted

[v-girl]

Hugs and welcome!

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Welcome!

[lovelight]

Welcome! Glad you found us.

[scrub-jay]

Welcome to the group, we get it.

[oceanchild]

Hi from another Julia!

I've done several big, cross-country moves now, and it's rough. The fact that you have a job is good. Forces you out of the house and gets you interacting with people. My main advice is that you have to get involved with stuff. I agree with others who have met people through religious groups, but I understand that's not everybody's thing. Rec sports are another good outlet. And get to know the other spouses/SOs from the residency program.

And if you can, get some of your family members or old friends to come visit. When I was at my wit's end after moving here, having company made a huge difference.

Good luck! And welcome!

[niener]

Welcome! Just about all of us have been through what you're describing -- it sucks, there's no way around that, but it gets better.

I second what oceanchild said. Having a job already will help, but try looking for groups or opportunities with similar interests as yours. Book clubs, recreational sports, volunteer opportunities, hiking groups -- almost all of these things can be found online. And if nothing else, sell your friends and family on how gorgeous Seattle is and how they *must* come visit!