Just need some support

[diggitydot]

Welcome to the group. We get it, I promise.

[spotty_dog]

Welcome welcome! Is your future husband in med school or residency? And what's your field of physics?

Hang in there, you will get through this.

Hi Everyone.

Thank you all for your words of support. My fiance just began his second year of residency in Primary Care. Everyone makes a big to do about how awful intern year was, but, and maybe it was the distance, it didn't seem that bad. R2 seems worse, longer hours, less time off, more stress. My fiance comes homes, I feed him, throw him in the shower and then put him to bed. I know he is exhausted and worn out but its kind of heart breaking for me that his needs and issues always come first, my day may not have involved anyone dying, but it was still hard. And I am planning our wedding (Aug. 18) and trying to keep it all together for us but I am lonely.

[MrsK]

We get it. Stick around and you'll see. Intern year is hard - we did two (a DO internship followed by PGY1 of an MD residency). We are PGY4 now and, not to scare you, but this may be the worst schedule since M3 for us. I think it is really specialty and program dependant.

[spotty_dog]

Yeah, I've heard time and again that second year is harder because it means more responsibility. And it does suck to be the "trailing wife" and have your needs come second. *hugs*

I still want to hear about your thesis. I actually have a friend in Seattle who attended the same undergrad for physics that I did, she got her PhD in Biophysics from Berkeley.

[Curegirl]

Hi Everyone.

Thank you all for your words of support. My fiance just began his second year of residency in Primary Care. Everyone makes a big to do about how awful intern year was, but, and maybe it was the distance, it didn't seem that bad. R2 seems worse, longer hours, less time off, more stress. My fiance comes homes, I feed him, throw him in the shower and then put him to bed. I know he is exhausted and worn out but its kind of heart breaking for me that his needs and issues always come first, my day may not have involved anyone dying, but it was still hard. And I am planning our wedding (Aug. 18) and trying to keep it all together for us but I am lonely.

I'm not engaged or married to the SO but I've also felt these feelings...I think we all have at a certain point and we found ourselves here! Just remember that your needs are important too and yes, it sucks putting off your feelings sometimes because whatever happens with your fiance seems more pressing, but there will be moments when that won't be the case. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one fighting for our relationship if that makes sense? I have no doubt that you'll pull through this difficult period because you seem accomplished and determined enough to find help here. Going back to the loneliness though, everyone has really good suggestions...personally, I've met some wonderful people in my gym classes, and I'm thinking you'll probably meet some new people in your PhD program? Does your fiance's program have a group for significant others?

[diggitydot]

FWIW, a lot of programs have support type groups for spouses and significant others. And once you get to know a few people, you'll figure out which ones you vibe with and can hang out together. I loathe organized (read: forced) social situations, but I love hanging out informally with some of the other peeps (and/or their spouses or SOa) from my dude's work.

Give it a little time. You'll find your groove.

[SoonerTexan]

Welcome! I know there are some PNW people on here too.

[BonBon]

Welcome! I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Please stick around and get to know us, and vice versa.

My best advice is to be independent as possible, find happiness in all aspects of your life, not just your relationship, and make your time together special.

On the meeting people aspect- I'm throwing junior league out there. I was a member in Atlanta and now here in NC, and love the combo of community service and friendships it has offered me. Good luck!

[Curegirl]

JLS, any progress?