Waking-up-in-the-morning Issues!

[bobk]

That really is a great story. It's funny how the smallest thing can make such a difference, especially for children.

[SoonerTexan]

That's a good point. It really is the small things. I hit on that about two weeks ago when we had a normal fight about me feeling unappreciated and doing everything.

I said I really don't expect you to do half of everything, I just want to come home and see you emptied the dishwasher because you saw it needed to be done and it was a way you could show you appreciate me and want to help. I just don't want to have to ask about every little thing. I think he got it a little more after that though we still have a ways to go!!!

[Pollyanna]

MrsK, one thing dh used to do during residency was to write the children a note every morning before he left. Nothing long, just a sentence or two on a sticky note left on the door. This was a way for him to continue to insert himself in the children's lives even when he wouldn't see them for days. They knew he was thinking of them and he felt like he was making a connection every morning. He has also been making all the lunches for the last 4 years and he writes a silly or sweet note on the bag. Even though your kiddos are little, your hubby can do small things like this to still feel connected. And I agree that everyone gets a pass now and then but residency in and of itself doesn't give someone a pass. I don't even wake up when dh leaves so I'm not making him breakfast or lunch, lol.

One thing I like to do is bake muffins for my DH and his colleagues each week, everyone seems to like it. Its sort of liking making breakfast.

I do agree with MrsK though, just because your SO is a physician doesn't give them carte blanche. I worked two jobs, planned our wedding, and did all the housework this summer while my DH was on 3 months of in patient rotation. I was exhausted. He was exhausted. To make a home and a family work you've got both put some effort, any kind of effort in. Its never going to be an equal split of labor but it certainly can't be one person making all the effort all the time.

So I make dinner, he does the dishes. I do the laundry, he cleans the bathroom. There is no point in sitting silently and steaming about it. Talk about what you need and what your SO can give.