Trouble with Long Call

Hi Everyone,

I posted a while ago and have settled in a bit more but am still adjusting to the life of being the SO of a resident. I relocated across the country to Seattle, where I know no one, and my wonderful physician and I were just married in August, yay! The trouble I am having is what to do with myself during his 32+ hour shifts. I am writing my thesis (doctorate in physics hopefully) so I spend all day alone, writing. Then the evening comes and I find myself going crazy with loneliness. I clean, I bake, I go for a run, I work some more, but nothing can fill the space of human companionship. I am slowly making friends with a few people but it is a delicate process and I dont want to bombard new friends with requests to hang out.


So, what do you do to combat the loneliness of repeated all day-all night calls?


Thanks!

[diggitydot]

I'm not much help on the "combating loneliness" thing because I don't like people and like my solitude, but thankfully residency ends. Eventually.

Hang in there and I'm glad to see you posting again.

Have you thought about maybe volunteering? Some cities have after-school Lego robotics clubs where you might be able to share your talent for physics with some really appreciative kids (and coaches).

[diggitydot]

BTW - There are a LOT of us in the PNW. We can probably help you find things to do.

[Curegirl]

I'm with DD because I like my solitude but how about catching up on shows and movies you haven't watched yet? And are there any books you'd like to read? Once you find your groove, I'm sure it'll get easier. Just dealing with a lot of changes at once makes everything harder. Is there a book club you'd be interested in joining? Or any groups on meetup.com?

Thanks for the input everyone. In response to the volunteering, I've signed up to volunteer with the local public library, doing tutoring, story time, event planning and the like. I try to fill up the time as best I can: reading, watching MANY things on Netflix, writing, baking, cleaning, knitting. I like my solitary time as well but at this point I can go 3 days without ever speaking to a person. But my cat is quite the conversationalist

[GreyhoundsRUs]

What about becoming a substitute teacher? The process is usually cheap and painless. You can always turn down jobs, and a lot of the time, you're just "babysitting". It would also bring in a few extra bucks that you could maybe use for fun.

When I was home over the summers (back when I taught), I would take day-trips to places I was interested in. I'm sure that there are a ton of great places within 2 hours of you.

What are you getting your PhD in? Is there a way to start building connections to people in that field?

[BonBon]

Substitute teaching is a good idea! Definitely check out meetup.com; it's a great way to meet others with similar interests. Do you like to hike, run, etc? There are always clubs for that with weekly get-togethers.

My DH does a lot of long calls too, but since I have so little time to myself, I revel in it! And sleep sideways because I CAN! lol

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Or take a class in something fun for you - like cooking or stained-glass or welding - whatever floats your boat!

[MsSassyBaskets]

jls2422, I'm in the same boat as you. Congrats on your recent wedding!! I just got married in July. We moved cross-country a little over a year ago so DH could start medical school. We're in a small city in a part of the country I don't really identify with, and since we're only here for the first 2 years I haven't really made enough of an effort to settle in and get to know people. I work from home all day, and in the evenings I usually read, cook, clean, watch too much Netflix, etc. etc. Sound familiar? I can't stress enough how crucial it is to get out of the house and talk to other adult humans (I also talk to my cats a little too much while at home alone). See if your SO is making any new friends in his program who have girlfriends or wives. Join a class -- in my old city I took pottery classes twice a week and managed to make some pretty kick-ass mugs, which I gave away for christmas! How about a yoga class? I find yoga people to be SUPER nice. =) Local small bookstores might have book clubs. Also try Meetup.com for a book club or other interest group. Even if you don't make any new good friends right away, you'll get out of the house, interact with people and feel a little bit better.

I know, a lot of suggestions that sound like something your mother would say. Take them or leave them -- just know that you're not the only one on this crazy train.

[alison]

Some suggestions that I have for you are: the UW Bookstore for browsing, Greenlake for walking or jogging, the King Tut exhibit at SAM, Pacific Northwest Ballet's Cinderella (there's a matinee at 1pm and this is the final week). You can go in jeans in Seattle, so don't worry about dressing up. Also, neighborhoods likw West Seattle, Queen Anne, and Ballard have fun little shopping areas. There are some fun day trips like the islands that you can get to by ferry (walk on to get to Bainbridge, for example).

[SoonerTexan]

HuluPlus or Netflicks Not real companionship, but if you get into something that has 6 seasons, time will fly by

[diggitydot]

Holy shit. I didn't realize residencies could still even get away with 30+ hour call, anymore.

DH's program limited call to 12-hour blocks for everyone except fellows. Fellows had no work hour rules so the dude regularly had 30-hour shifts Q3 all through fellowship. Everyone HATED the 12-hour call blocks because it eliminated days off and made it much more difficult to get rest while in-house.

[BonBon]

HuluPlus or Netflicks Not real companionship, but if you get into something that has 6 seasons, time will fly by

Seriously, that saved my summer!

[spotty_dog]

reading, watching MANY things on Netflix, writing, baking, cleaning, knitting.

You're a knitter in Seattle and you want acquaintanceship? http://www.ravelry.com/groups/search...&query=seattle

My mind is kind of blown by the concept that you might NOT attend a stitch-n-bitch every day of the week if you don't have kids to weigh you down!

[hanginginthere]

I had a hard time at first, too. I started taking art classes and it helped a lot...I also began to enjoy doing stuff by myself- going to museums and such...and making sure I had plans once a week or so with friends so I had something to look forward to