Life with an ED Doc

[Alacrity]

Thought this was a good article
http://www.epmonthly.com/features/cu.../the-peephole/

[Curegirl]

My SO doesn't really like talking about work...maybe that's a good thing in a way?

[Deebs]

This article is so very true (though my DH definitely cries at work). CG - if your SO doesn't talk to you about work, I hope he has a mentor, colleague, or counselor to talk to. DH's program made them see a psychiatrist and debrief with their mentor's frequently. This was a great start to DH's career because it taught him not to hold in what he sees daily. when he has a rough shift, we generally all about it, but he has a list of people that call each other when they've had a rough day.

[MrsK]

Thank you for sharing this.

[Curegirl]

Deebs, sorry, I meant that he doesn't talk to me about things at work usually because he said I'm his break from everything that's going on. So I don't like to push him into talking unless he really wants to. Otherwise he has his co-residents to commiserate with.

[Deebs]

That's ok. We've just had a few EM friends who haven't found a way to get support for what they deal with who have had breakdowns or become drug users. DH and I are so lucky that he was in a program that forced residents to talk and when he was at OSU, as an attending, one of his biggest pet peeves was that the residents weren't taught coping skills.

[AmeliePoulain]

Great article. I used to wonder how dh could be so dettached when he told me about his day in the leukemia dept. I would cry and he would tell me he wasn't going to tell me anymore. What upset me most were the tearful words of a parent's denial when their child was gone and not wanting to disconnect saying they weren't giving up on them and they just want to give their child a chance to "come back" or a parent with very young children who had passed.

[Alacrity]

I have seen that. I can get more emotionally involved just by her telling me a story.

Before meeting my spouse I used to volunteer at a hospital once a week as an EMT.
Id come over on the other days when I wasnt working to see how the patients were doing.
(Got a few stories about the ups and downs of that idea)

[spaz]

But what if you are a tired wife and tired of being the only source of support. My husband DOES talk about his work..he tells me all about his struggles and worries. But he won't take any of my advice and I'm just tired of the stress... He cares so much about each and every patient. he is not like other doctors ( or at least that is what my friends who are nurses tell me.. He cares so much...)