Are most of you still in training??

[spaz]

Just curious. Are most of you still in training or are there others like me whose husbands have been practicing 15 years or more? To be honest, I didn't have problems in residency or med school. He was in med school and I was in college when we dated ( 2 1/2 years long distance). It was great. I had all my friends and activities and saw him on weekends.. We got married and in residency it was just the two of us. I had my career and extra curricullars and felt very happy. Honestly, I had friends and tons of stuff to do. I didn't sit around waiting and moaning..

Then we had kids as he finished residency and started private practice and I stayed home. For the first time I resented his schedule a bit, but once again I found a mother's day out program a couple of days a week that was wonderful so I could get my hair cut and have time to myself. I was still involved in tons of activites.. Started homeschooling my three, so I was really busy. Then we had tons of relatives with medical problems that came to either live with us or nearby that we/I was responsible for.. At one point I had two elderly relatives I was taking care of in addition to my three children and my husband who was depressed and changed his job... I was the one holding everything together...

Fast forward to this past summer. With my oldest two, I have worked myself out of a job. They cook, clean, make their own doctor appointments...are doing dual credit. Husband complained this summer that I cared more about what was going on at church than what was going on with him, so I dropped those activities or at least many of them... I really only have my 11 year old girl that I am still schooling which seems like nothing compared to schooling three, church activities and taking care of elderly relatives...

We have always lived life around his career and I'm tired. I would like for him to take care of me or at least someone to. I'm not sure what to do with myself... I'm approaching 50 and don't have a clue what to do...

[SuzySunshine]

I don't think you're going to find someone on here that is completely the same but there are lots of us at lots of different stages.

My DH and I have been together since undergrad (15 years, married 10) and he's coming up on his first anniversary of his first post training job. You will find that most of our members are still in the throws of residency or med school.

[weeniegeniewife]

20 years as an attending here. I have two adult stepsons and one tween daughter.

[Meenah]

Attending here for 20 years. We have been married for 12 years, and I found this site shortly after we married. I have two daughters, one step-daughter, and one step-son, all in their twenties.

[Deebs]

My DH and I met my freshman year of college, his senior. We survived grad school for both of us, over a year of me in IL and him working in DC, med school, residency, five moves together, and he's now in his sixth year as an attending, working as an ED medical director, EMS medical director, and clinically. We have three kids, and I think we're both still trying to figure out what we want to be when we "grow up" (which will be never considering my DH is an ER doc). As SS said, there are women and men here with a multitude of backgrounds and experiences.

[JaneDoe]

My DH has been in private practice for almost seven years now. We have been married for almost 14 years.

[migirl]

Coming up on our 4th year in DH's first post-training job, with 3 young kiddos (7, 5, and 2).

[rainbabies]

Dh and I have been together since 2nd year of undergrad (13years)We have three children, all born during med school. He's in his 3rd year of being a grown up dawkter.

[GrayMatterWife]

17 years married, known him for 20+ years. Three kids, fourth due in two months.

We met in undergrad. Been together through college, med school (nine year MD-PhD program), six years of neurosurgery residency, one year of fellowship, and now attendinghood.

[diggitydot]

There are lots of us who are post-training, but this group has a pretty varied mix of peeps from all levels. That's part of what makes this places awesomesauce. There is usually someone who has been there, can relate, or has a perspective that might not have been considered.

[Urowife]

My DH is in his 3rd year of attendinghood. I found this site during residency and it's been great to have a group of people who really get it! Welcome!

[ladymoreta]

We're in our first year of attendinghood, married for 12 years, with 2 kids (2 year old boy and 1 year old girl). I found this site during DH's intern year. I wish I'd found it during medical school; that was a harder time for me than residency.

[spotty_dog]

To be honest, I didn't have problems in residency or med school....I didn't sit around waiting and moaning..

I'm sure you didn't mean this as a condemnation of those of us who did find residency to be a challenge, especially after already having supported their partner through medical school and having had small children with a largely absent and/or cranky co-parent during those post graduate years.

This summer will mark the end of four years post-training. I've been here on iMSN since my husband was in his second year of medical school, I believe.

[spaz]

I'm sure you didn't mean this as a condemnation of those of us who did find residency to be a challenge, especially after already having supported their partner through medical school and having had small children with a largely absent and/or cranky co-parent during those post graduate years.

This summer will mark the end of four years post-training. I've been here on iMSN since my husband was in his second year of medical school, I believe.

No, I didn't and the ones that moaned that I knew didn'thave children either. But that was, btw, why we decided to wait until after residency to have children because I was unwilling to raise them by myself. Of course the trade off is that we didn't start until I was almost 30 and therefore I will be nearly 60 when they are gone!

[spaz]

Not sure if I'm making myself clear. No I don't have condemnation.. But honestly, I had my life and I was very happy in medical school in residency. It was't until we had kids that I started to resent his schedule. But at the same time I guess I just never counted on him. I found mother's day out programs and just dragged them to my ladies ensemble concerts or directing my choirs and such. I never ever demanded anything of him. I always tried to make home a safe haven.
I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that we are both first born, list making, saver kind of personalities.. As the oldest, I fend for myself.. I can't imagine being whiny.... at least until this year. I don't know. I have supported him emotionally for so long and I am tired... I'm ready for someone to support me.