Cat advice please!

[AmeliePoulain]

We've had our second cat for about almost 2 months. We kept her separate at first just letting her out while supervised and introduced them slowly. Then she started tearing up the carpet near the door when we put her in her room at night so we had to let her out but she has been fighting with our first cat ever since. They seem to hate each other. DH prefers our first cat and we have not quite bonded with the new cat. She purrs when petted (our other cat never purrs) but she's not very affectionate and shies away a lot. She has also been doing things like knocking things off my vanity and rattling the blinds while we sleep. She also chews on electrical cords. Dh is really annoyed and keeps saying he's taking her back to the shelter. He really loves the first cat and although that cat is really mean ( bites and scratches), he has never damaged any of our stuff. Dh also overlooks anything with him because he thinks he's the cutest cat to ever exist and is sort of like his baby. I really don't want to get rid of the new cat and wanted a friend for our cat but dh is insisting we give her back and says our cat is stressed with her around so it defeats the purpose of getting her. Will this get better? Should we just give her back? She follows me around and seems happy when she's not fighting with the other cat. Any advice is appreciated.

[MsSassyBaskets]

Try a Feliway plug in. You can get them at big pet stores. That all sounds like stress behavior. The plug ins have definitely helped our younger, stressier cat adjust to new situations. It can definitely continue to get better if you use the right strategies.

[AmeliePoulain]

We thought 2 months was enough time hmmm so they might still get along one day? I will look for the plug in. Thanks!

[MsSassyBaskets]

Other ideas now that I'm on a real computer:
- Continue to keep them in separate rooms for part of each day and spend one-on-one time with each cat, giving them treats and attention to help calm them down.
- Try some bitter spray (there's one called "Bitter Yuck" at the pet store) on your electrical cords. Our big cat used to chew cords, and I actually rubbed hot pepper all over them once... that worked. He does it when he's desperate for attention and pissed off.
- Try spraying something pungent that the cat won't like, like orange oil diluted in vinegar, on cords and carpets that the cat is scratching or chewing (Careful using it on light carpets...). Our little cat goes after the carpets when she's really bored and annoyed and powerful smells will put her off of it. But don't bother with mint or lavender oils, cats don't seem to mind those as much.
- Definitely try the Feliway plugin, they work.
- And last, if you have to get rid of the cat, please please please don't take her to a kill shelter, especially in the spring or summer. Kitten season is almost upon us, and thousands of perfectly healthy cats are euthanized each year, especially if they've been returned for behavioral reasons. If you have to give her away, try to find a no-kill shelter or a good home. Sorry, that's my PSA for now -- I'm maybe a little passionate about the subject. =)

ETA - cross-posted with you -- No, 2 months is not a very long time. A couple summers ago I found a stray kitten and eventually found him a home with one of DH's classmates. She said her older cat refused to acknowledge the kitten OR the humans for a full six months! Then one day she just snapped out of it. Cats are sensitive to change, and they can take a long time to adjust. Be patient and try everything you can think of!

[Michele]

They gave good advice already. The Feliway diffusers work really well for a lot of cats. And 2 months isn't long enough for cats! Make sure you have 3 litter boxes....yes 3....that way no one feels stressed about toileting!

[AmeliePoulain]

Michele, I do have 3 litter boxes. I really tried to research everything to do things right but I didn't realize it would take so long. Ms SB, I signed a contract I would take her back to the place where I adopted her if I ever wanted to give her away. They are actually a rescue, I know I called it a shelter but they rescue pets from shelters and they have a huge room with every toy and it's like kitty heaven, not cages. Today was the day dh said he was taking her back but she's still here. He was saying all day that he's about to take her, then he said he called them and they said they understood because she has been nothing but trouble and nobody wants her, at which point I knew he was teasing and does not actually want to take her back.

[AmeliePoulain]

Thanks for the advice ladies! I have noticed they don't like orange peels so I might get something with citrus for the electrical cords.

[AmeliePoulain]

Last thing, how is two months not long lol what about cat years!

[Michele]

Do cats do anything quickly?

[niener]

Do cats do anything quickly?

Lol, precisely .

Re: knocking things off your dresser and messing with the blinds, keep a few spray bottles of water around the house and spray him in the face as soon as he starts doing the unwanted behavior. My big cat loves knocking everything onto the floor (bonus points if it's expensive and breakable) and that's how we get him to stop.

[AmeliePoulain]

These are our first cats, hence my lack of knowledge. Dh loves cats but never had indoor pets.

[AmeliePoulain]

The male cat gets on the bed and grooms us, licks our foreheads and pulls my hair with his teeth. It hurts. The female cat knocks things over and rattles the blinds. I tried to keep them out of the bedroom but one scratches the door until we open and the other tears up the carpet under the door. I like having cats but now I have to vacuum like crazy and am trying find ways of getting rid of the hair :/

[mommax3]

The spray bottle will work if you are consistent (hard when you aren't home, though). I also have had success with putting foil where I don't want the cats....they don't like it (after a while, they are conditioned and you can get rid of the foil).