Neuro or Emergency Med

[Auspicious]

Part of me wonders, what the heck is wrong with me? Why can't I just play nice and suck it up? I have a fantastic hubby who adores me, a great kid, a family friendly job, fantastic girlfriends, a loving extended family, and a million other blessings....so what is my problem?

I realize that that was a rhetorical question, but I think the problem is that blessings can help balance out hardships, but they can't help balance out injustices. From everything you've said about your situation, I don't think your problem is how hard it is, but how unfair it is (or you perceive it to be). I have the feeling that if you were faced with some hardship that was unavoidable (like a serious illness on your husband's part wherein you had to pick up all his slack), you would just suck it up. But if someone feels they're being screwed over, no amount of blessings are going to make that not rankle. Blessings and injustices are apples and oranges.

(I don't mean to offer advice of any kind with this, just theory.)

[Flynn]

no, it's good

Kelly,

It's a good thing to keep our many blessings on the brain -- especially when we are at our most passionate that surgery sucks!!! You are right right right!!! It is easier said than done but hey, most things worth our time are these days.

If nothing else, perhaps the initial author will be able to conclude that regardless of how much of a strong, kick ass spouse you are, this life nails you in the rump just when you think you have things under control. Can you survive? Of course, but it's hard not to stay in "survival mode" even when things are going well.

I come across like a ton of bricks when I feel something to the core of my being and it's good to reel it in and play nice. It's also great to vent on this site though, and I really enjoy reading what others have to say. We all come from different arenas but have this one common thread to bring us together.

Julie said it just right when she defined the difference between hardships and injustices. That's exactly how I feel about residency. Nobody should have to live like this!!!! I am so frustrated with this life yet, when I had a family member pass away two weeks ago, I mourned, helped out where I could and am trying to move on. I accept death as natural part of life but General Surgery residency is so unacceptable in every way, shape or form.

Nice job Julie and Kelly!!!

Flynn



Thanks for listening.

Flynn

Wow, I didn't expect such passionate (to say the least) replies! My husband was talking about neurology, not neurosurgery. From what I've read, I should be thankful. He's always liked it, and I was curious as to what that entailed. We did talk about choosing a residency while keeping in mind that I would be living in the city while he was living at the hospital as mentioned above. He hadn't thought about that either and while he won't be doing any kind of surgery residency, as a resident in general he will be spending the majority of his time at a hospital. Its so valuable to me (and my husband) to find out the spouses' point of view. I was happy he didn't want to do surgery before, now I am REALLY happy.

[Flynn]

One final thought

Shella,

As I was talking to my DH last night (He was home, and well rested enough to have a conversation -- NICE!!!) we discussed how the new 80 hour work week will affect all the different residencies.

Surgery residencies have a horrible "life-style" reputation but many of my comments were from the perspective of a spouse who dealt with 4 years of 110-120 hour work weeks and I'm a bit (a bit?!) burned out. This year has been a great improvement in the hours department and anyone looking into residencies should consider my comments with that in mind since they are in large part based on an "old school" mentality.

My spouse thinks that aside from actual years required and life after residency, while you are training, the specialties will be much more equal due to the hours requirement. It was not uncommon years ago for our friends in Internal Medicine to work 80 hours while surgery was much much higher. That has all changed now and since it's so early, it's hard to tell how that will affect things. A lot of residencies had 80 hours be normal so they haven't changed as much...surgery on the other hand had to make HUGE changes in dividing labor and patient management.

I tend to come from the school that says non-surgical specialties have a much better chance to have a "life" after training but that varies so much. We are still training so I don't have any first hand information -- just thoughts from docs we know who are finished with residency.


If I had to do it all over again and could participate in my husband's residency choice (we weren't married then) I would consider these items HEAVILY:

1.) Hours worked? Expect the full 80 hours or do some rotations require less during residency?

2.) On call? Home call? In house call? What's the most to expect and what is the least to hope for?

3.) Life after residency? How saturated is this area of medicine? Will it be hard to find a job? Hours worked usually? On call usually? Weeks off? And of course PAY!!!!???

3.) How sick are the patients your spouse will be dealing with? (Are patients dying on your DH's service or do they get sent to surgery or ICU, Critical Care ...etc.)

4.) Is there a Level one trauma center your DH will be working at during certain rotations? (Level one is brutal....they work you to the BONE and you see horrible stuff.)

5.) How many children in the family? Are we going to have them all during residency?

6.) Finally, does your DH favor an academic life or does he see himself going into private practice?


I guess some of my previous comments are moot due to "neurology" being the neuro on the table for consideration!!!!

You are SO smart to get as much info up front on things your DH is considering. Keep researching. The more information, the better!!!!


Good luck!

Flynn