How to support your husband

[spaz]

husband advised me to remove everything just in case

[Pollyanna]

I'm not sure the support would look any different than if they were going through any stressful situation. I'm sorry for you guys!

[spotty_dog]

We've had a few members with spouses named in suits -- even if it's totally frivolous, it's also totally stressful. Fingers crossed it passed quickly for you guys!

[diggitydot]

I'm not sure the support would look any different than if they were going through any stressful situation. I'm sorry for you guys!

Yeah, my thoughts, too. But DH hasn't been named in any yet, so I'm no help.

[spaz]

nt

[SuzySunshine]

Is he the only doc named? You said it's not something he did? My husband was named in his first recently, because this isn't a private forum I won't go into much detail but he basically doesn't think about it. He lets his attorneys handle it and he continues to practice medicine and take care of his current patients. He was ticked when he was first served but he can't do anything about it while it plays out and that is why they have insurance.

[spaz]

nt

[spaz]

nt

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Is he the only doc named? You said it's not something he did? My husband was named in his first recently, because this isn't a private forum I won't go into much detail but he basically doesn't think about it. He lets his attorneys handle it and he continues to practice medicine and take care of his current patients. He was ticked when he was first served but he can't do anything about it while it plays out and that is why they have insurance.

This. If this is brand new, does he have legal representation? Could you support him by helping find a legal team if one isn't provided by his workplace? If this is the first suit in 25 years, he should count himself lucky (although it doesn't make it any easier). Being a surgeon, we expect my husband will be named in at least 1 suit over his career - we are discounting living in certain states because of malpractice laws. Like SS said, he really should need to do anything, especially if he was slapped on the suit as part of "catch-all" documentation. The laws on who can be named in a suit vary from state to state, so he should speak with a med mal lawyer re: if he was even rightly included.


Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Cross-posted with you. Discount what you obviously answered.


Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod

[GreyhoundsRUs]

If the obsessive need to be right/perfect is a trait he has in all arenas of life, there probably isn't much you can do to help ease his mind. I'm not sure if taking time off would look bad - have you talked to a lawyer yet? These are questions for him/her


Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod

[spaz]

nt

[GreyhoundsRUs]

I think, then, it's honestly out of your hands. He doesn't have his JD, does he? If he won't leave the professionals alone, he really is bringing the stress on himself, and any "support" you give him, he will probably view as you not fully understand in the situation/you not caring/etc. He sounds very paranoid and/or high strung - "no one can do this better than me"/"only I can have my best interests in mind". I don't know if he'll *let* you support him. Hugs.


Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod

[SuzySunshine]

My husband, also a surgeon is also a perfectionist, I think most surgeons are - however I agree with Jen. If he's going to micromanage the progress there isn't anything you can do. If he wants to talk about it, vent, let him, otherwise let him handle it as he's going to.

I'm glad you're feeling better. You're not the first person on here to say that getting hormones under control has made a huge difference.

[Pollyanna]

Oh boy, nothing an attorney loves more than a physician telling him how to do his job. Wow, I'm very sorry you are dealing with this. Good job on getting help for yourself! I think the best thing you could do to support him would be to try and get him to the therapist. I know he won't go but I would try (and you probably are).

Big hugs to you!