Giving $ to people on the street

[peggyfromwastate]

We went to the city today. A while back I decided that I would keep envelops with 5$ gift cards for mcdonalds and 1$ cash in my car-- just to give to people asking for cash. I never have cash, so I was trying to be intentional by having envelops ready to go. I was amazed that after 4 months I did not see 1 person at an intersection or anything asking for cash. It really made me aware of how wealthy the area where I live day to day is... Where we lived before here we saw people begging every day.

Anyway, I brought my little envelops with me today as we went to the city. We only saw 2 people--- 1 was begging at an intersection, the other was playing a strange instrument of sorts. There were other street performers and what not, but they were really polished and not really begging.

Anyway----- it was eye opening to me bc there is no way there are so few beggars around here. In SF? Where do they put the homeless during the day to insulate the tourists? We walked about 2 miles on the uber touristy embarcadero...

??

Do you do anything for beggars? The one guy asked how much was on the gift card-- I think that's reasonable. I'll take a sharpie to my remaining cards to label them.

FWIW I was raised to be skeptical about giving $ to anyone bc they might just use it for drugs or alcohol. But I think they might use it for a cup of coffee too. So... That's not my choice. But if someone humbles himself to ask, I think why not give a little... Albeit a tiny amount. I was just surprised that when I tried to deliberate about giving out my little envelops I did not find people who were asking...

[diggitydot]

I'm about as bleeding-heart as they come, but I don't give anything to panhandlers. I've know FAR too many addicts who panhandle and use everything/anything they're given to feed their addiction. Those bags of food and toiletries? Frequently found stashed behind shrubs and various areas in traffic medians if they can't sell it to someone else.

There are resources available for people who need them. Yes, they're limited, but I prefer to give my money to an organization that helps the homeless versus handing it over to someone who is more likely to hand it over to their dealer.

My ex is a recovering heroin and meth addict. Every penny his parents spent on food for him and his dog was a penny he, in turn, spent on his addiction.

[SoonerTexan]

There are specific intersections in Dallas where there is always someone, but I've yet to see anyone in my town. I've thought about the gift card idea because I never have cash, but never executed it. I have been approached by women in a parking lot and gas station looking for gas money.

In general I don't because I don't have cash, but I also don't like taking my wallet out, especially if I am alone or out of my car. I feel like I'm opening myself up to being a victim if I have it right there.

DH is of DD's mindset re: drugs, etc. I think the patients at Parkland have made him extra cynical, too.

Random story, but a few years ago he stopped at a gas station near the hospital and a panhandler asked him for a Coke. It was super hot that day, so DH went in and bought him a huge water. They guy got pissed because it wasn't a coke, which in turn pissed DH off. I think he may have told him he would get dehydrated

[Curegirl]

I'm with DD. I'd rather give to an organization than to panhandlers directly. I do buy them food sometimes if they seem extra hard up (a mom with small kids) but I haven't come across anyone who's in that bad shape in a while. SO is pretty cynical with all the drug pushers that he comes across. I can't blame him really since he deals with them everyday. It's sad because I went to school with this really beautiful girl and the last I heard she was giving out $5 blowjobs to feed her habit.

[Vanquisher]

I am super cynical about homeless people too. Mostly, I think people are homeless for a reason (drugs and alcohol), and there are resources available to them that will actually get them food and shelter as opposed to a fix.

If people are homeless and truly trying to get their life in order, they usually aren't panhandling. They are taking advantage of state and charity organizations, and they are working on ways to get gainful employment. Just my opinion, and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'd say most panhandlers just want handouts for a fix.

[MAPPLEBUM]

1) I grew up in a small south Florida town where the police literally pick up homeless people and drive them to the nearby towns.

2) When I was in grad school I lived near 3 shelters, but it was still very much a college town. At first when I was approached for money I would take them somewhere nearby to get them a meal. After on woman started calling to me from across parking lots to get her food I quickly put an end to that. The bums were so forward they would come up to my door and ask for money. After that I started disengaging them by saying things like "you probably have more money than me." or "no man, but do you have a cigarette?" It always caught them off guard and eventually they learned I was neither a fool or afraid of them.

3) I volunteered full time at a youth shelter in NYC Hell's Kitchen. There were around 800 youth staying there, from short to long term, ages 18-21. VERY eye opening. Most of these kids wore designer clothes and new, flashy phones. You could always spot the ones who were really hard up, or genuinely looking to get their lives together. But they were the exception. For the most part the general reaction to say, eating meals the shelter provided was "no miss, we're poor but not BROKE!" -- so it wasn't that they didn't have any money, just misplaced values. Even if they did have history of having to climb up and sleep on roofs, they still wore designer shoes.

So no, I don't even feel the slightest twinge of remorse when I'm approached by a bum. I know what my town has to offer, and it's their choice to approach me instead of going to the local food bank. I'm even wary of giving money to institutions but won't get started on that. Instead, I try to make it a part of my life to donate time, which in my area of interest is youth homelessness. I used to have a weekly shift at the youth shelter here but since I now teach with an outreach music program that sort of fills my moral imperative.

[alotofyarn]

I've given out the bags of food and toiletries before after we made them with our church group. I would frequently pass the same guys every day in Houston. If I did it again I'd limit it to a bottle of water and a granola bar probably.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk

[ladymoreta]

I almost never have cash, but if I do and they don't look scary (high, drunk, or aggressive), I don't mind giving them some. While you're right that they most likely use it for drugs, they also have to eat sometimes. The panhandlers I've given to are usually very polite and thankful, and it's generally a positive experience for me. I also pray for them over the next few days.

We don't really have many panhandlers here either. I think it's illegal in a lot of cities. A lot of it seems to happen at gas pumps where their "car ran out of gas a couple miles back" or near bus stations where they "forgot their wallet".

[JaneDoe]

Here in Oregon, especially in Portland, panhandlers are on every corner it seems. We do not give anything to them because we think it does more harm than good. The chances are high that the money will be spent on drugs and alcohol. Some of them are so bold as to hold a sign saying "who am I kidding, I really just want beer."

I agree with those who said giving money to a charity that helps the homeless is much more helpful.

[Alacrity]

But I don’t donate because of what happened to me many years ago when I was in SF.
There was a woman and her child that would beg and when I saw her I'd drop whatever change I had.
Then in the news I saw that she was picked dup for murder.
According to her confession; the child she was using was approaching 6 and was no longer working for hand outs. So she killed him and stuffed him in a garbage bag and hid him under some steps.

Whether that was true, or she was just deranged, I don't know. I still feel very guilty that I may have enabled this situation.
I've never given out money since then to the people begging. I always deal with the charities.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I keep granola bars in my car and give them to people I encounter. I rarely have cash but will give a little if I have it.

There's a chance that they resell it for drugs but there's also a chance they need to eat too. I really try not to judge because addiction, etc is partially a personal choice and partially a disease. I don't feel like I'm in a place to judge. I want to teach my kids to love people and not to judge them. We can talk about not making the same choices but I also don't want my kids seeing me withhold food from someone who needs it on "principle".

I don't mean to sound "holier than thou", it's just a recent heart change I've had in the last year. It works for me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ladymoreta]

T&S, you put it much better than I did for why I give.

[Vanquisher]

http://residentiallychallenged.blogs...-make.html?m=1

Just no. I will not give money to someone on the street. I'd rather give to a woman's shelter or food bank or a charity that makes a difference in homelessness.

[MAPPLEBUM]

I actually had a kid approach me on the street today, start walking and making conversation. He was either homeless or quite poor and I didn't give him enough time to figure out if he was trying to pick me up or get a job. I didn't even look at him until I stopped to make it clear I was done talking to him. As soon as I brushed him off I realized he had really kind eyes (which yes, is something I do read) and I should have been nicer. Even if all I had said is "keep trying and don't lose faith". I used to be more keen on those snap judgements. Not sure what changed.

[ides]

When I lived in NYC and on the subway if I saw someone asking for food I would give some if I had. Thru were generally thankful and appreciative. I never gave money and still don't. There are SO many beggars in Okc. Some on pretty much any largish intersection.