Open Letter to Aspiring Medical Students

[MrsK]

What do you think? Can dawkters get through medical training unbroken? Unchanged? Can their partners?

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/a-l...-students.html

[Thirteen]

I think both he and I are different, but better people.
Talking about difficulties and problems has helped immensely, and a little bit of therapy here and there for an impartial judge to help with problem solving.

Intent year was hard, very hard.


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[Vanquisher]

I totally have PTSD.

[medpedspouse]

Training was tough as we all know. However, I do not think it was training that "broke" us...it has been attendinghood. You know that while in training your life will suck. I did not dream of unicorns and faries when it was over but I also never dreamed that life would get "harder" in attendinghood. I suppose the stakes are higher now.

Life is better now but after the last few years we both have changed and become more jaded about medicine...which was not the case during training.

[Curegirl]

As much as it's sucked, I'm still more optimistic about things than he is, which may either save me or serve as my downfall. *cue dramatic music*

[GrayMatterWife]

It is different for everyone, but honestly: it just wasn't that hard. Come'on…there are a lot of professions that are a lot more stressful and grisly and demanding. Yeah, training is tough and medicine is not for wimps, but for heaven's sakes … honestly, law school was a lot tougher, meaner, and spirit-breaking…and it wasn't that bad. People all over the world would cut off their left nut to be educated and train here.

[Vanquisher]

It is different for everyone, but honestly: it just wasn't that hard. Come'on…there are a lot of professions that are a lot more stressful and grisly and demanding. Yeah, training is tough and medicine is not for wimps, but for heaven's sakes … honestly, law school was a lot tougher, meaner, and spirit-breaking…and it wasn't that bad. People all over the world would cut off their left nut to be educated and train here.

You do not speak for everyone. That may be your experience, but it is not universal.

[HouseofWool]

Open Letter to Aspiring Medical Students

Med school broke me. It broke my ex. It broke my marriage. It sucks. But the majority was bc the ex couldn't deal with the politics.

[SuzySunshine]

Open Letter to Aspiring Medical Students

I think like EVERYTHING else in this world everyone handles it differently, experiences differently and comes out of it differently. Look at the responses so far in this thread, some we're broken some weren't. Fine. I truly think one issue with our world today is that everyone thinks everyone else has to agree with them,that everyone has to have the same experience. And if you come out of the same situation with a better/different response/result something is wrong with you. NOT TRUE. Not to mention unless two people live in the same house, have the same classes, med school, specialty, etc NO two experiences are the same. Medicine is what it is, people either need to do it to or don't but I feel like this incoming medical school/residency generation want everything to be easy. Also not gonna happen, pick a different job if you want easy.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

For us, med school was not that tough. DH had a group of friends that was driven and successful but also pretty collaborative. And his med school was on the first way of "case learning" which is group-based instead of lecture based. I think it took a lot of the stress/competition out of med school.

Residency, so far, has been difficult but not impossible. There are weeks where we feel really disconnected but we have always managed to reconnect quickly. We never see DH as often as we like but it's going ok. It helps that DH has basically given up all hobbies and personal time so e can see us - that's the way he's wired so it's not traumatic for him to do that. The away rotations have been the worst part but it's not insurmountable.

But DH is very even keeled, not prone to depression, not sensitive to much criticism and everything rolls off his back. His program is also not as competitive as some of the ones where he could have gone. He made a conscious choice to rank this program balancing location, training quality, and non malignancy. He had the opportunity to match much more prestigious programs and according to pre match conversations likely would have matched there. Those programs likely would have broken our family. I can put up with some away rotations, I can put up with some call weekends, I could not have survived a residency where he got home at 9 PM every night (he gets home on average at 6 PM). I know my limits and that just wouldn't have worked for me.

All those things have so far made us be ok. But I know not everyone can/wants to make the choice my DH did not to rank the absolute top program he could have or to sacrifice all his personal time for his family.

[SoonerTexan]

Med school really wasn't that bad. But we lived near family, paid low tuition, and I have a relatively well paying and flexible job.

We will see about residency

[diggitydot]

Med school was, BY FAR, the toughest part of our journey. Not even close. It sucked.

[DrBandMe]

Med school had some tough times but overall we had a lot of fun together. But I think it really depends on way too many factors to predict how someone might react to it all.

[Ladybug]

I thought it was a beautifully written letter. She refers to the powerlessness that people experience to varying degrees compounded by their own life experiences and life perspective. I think most, certainly not all, aspiring medical students have experienced academic success, applause and family support. They are stripped of a lot of those things during the training process. I guess I'm not sure if that's healthy and gives them humility and perspective, or if it's malignant. I've seen it go both ways. It's not a process that you have complete control over.

[GrayMatterWife]

You do not speak for everyone. That may be your experience, but it is not universal.

That's why I started with "Everyone's experience is different."