Open Letter to Aspiring Medical Students

[mommax3]

Med school was like undergrad, just more specialized and a little more intense. Residency was very, very hard for both of us, and it changed both of us. I felt like I had PTSD for the first few years out, but other than that, I think we weathered it okay. DH never really complained or expressed that he was depressed (and I don't think he was), but he was just absent, pretty much, for four years. That covered ages 2-6 in my oldest's life, and ages 1-3 for my second son. Would they be different now if he had been a more regular presence in their lives then? Would I be different now if I hadn't essentially been a single mom during those years? I'm sure the answer to both of those questions is yes. However, my boys have a good relationship with their dad, and our marriage is strong. And after all, even a bad week now is *nothing* compared to residency, so I guess it is good to have that perspective.

[spaz]

Med school was like undergrad, just more specialized and a little more intense. Residency was very, very hard for both of us, and it changed both of us. I felt like I had PTSD for the first few years out, but other than that, I think we weathered it okay. DH never really complained or expressed that he was depressed (and I don't think he was), but he was just absent, pretty much, for four years. That covered ages 2-6 in my oldest's life, and ages 1-3 for my second son. Would they be different now if he had been a more regular presence in their lives then? Would I be different now if I hadn't essentially been a single mom during those years? I'm sure the answer to both of those questions is yes. However, my boys have a good relationship with their dad, and our marriage is strong. And after all, even a bad week now is *nothing* compared to residency, so I guess it is good to have that perspective.

That is precisely why we waited to have children until he was through with residency and why I think med school and residency were not bad for us! A bad week now feels much worse than residency but maybe I was too busy with my own stuff to notice. I don't know.

[metroguy]

personally i think the author might have had it easy considering she previous training. clinical rotation would have been a (relative) piece of cake. also, to me it's not medicine that gets to you. it's life (kids/marriage/mtg) and medicine--that's a deadly combination. i think if the person was single or marry without kids--medicine is not a big deal.

[Vanquisher]

We were married, with kids, 2000 miles from family. Other than the financial hardship of it, med school was easy!!! DH was home often. It was really nice. College was harder for us. We both went to school, had jobs, and a baby! In med school, no jobs. I wasn't in school anymore. We just had Chad's school and mounting debt, but it rocked.

[diggitydot]

We did med school with three kids. That wasn't the hard part for us, either.