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National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

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  • National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

    I posted this on facebook and thought I'd share it here too and open it up for anybody else who might want to share.

    Two years ago I was pregnant with our first baby, whose heart stopped beating a few weeks later. October is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. Take some time this month to remember and pray for the babies who were born asleep, whom we carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, or who made it home but didn't stay, and for the families who will always love but rarely get to talk about their lost little ones.

    I hate that women, including myself, are left to feel so alone after the loss of a baby. In the case of miscarriages, often nobody ever knew you were pregnant, and it's hard to share that, so it's often never talked about. The times I have shared about my loss, I've heard from so many other women who tell me that they lost a baby too, and although it's awful hearing that it happens to so many others, it makes you feel a little bit less alone.

    We got pregnant after almost a year of trying, and after several months of fertility treatment. We saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks and heart it at 7 and 8 weeks. At 9 weeks, on October 30, 2012, it was gone, and I had a D&C 2 days later. I named the baby Jordan, which is a gender neutral name that was used in the Middle Ages for children who were baptized in holy water.
    Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

  • #2


    It really is so common and I know it can be painfully difficult to talk about the loss of a child but no one should feel like they can't talk about it because it's taboo. I know quite a few friends that have lost a child during pregnancy, both early on and late term. Most recently a friend lost both her twins in the first trimester and it was really rough for her going from the prospect of two to none. I'll be thinking of you and Jordan, and the other ladies on here I know that have gone through the same kind of loss.
    Wife of a surgical fellow; Mom to a busy toddler girl and 5 furballs (2 cats, 3 dogs)

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    • #3
      Thinking of you, and maybe I will drop a note to a friend who also lost an early pregnancy to let her know I'm thinking of her too. That baby might have been tiny but it carried a whole lot of hopes and dreams with it when it left too soon.
      Alison

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      • #4
        Thinking of you and your little one. I know I have an uncle or aunt and a sister or brother-in-law that I've never met. I know not all share the belief, but I hope to meet them someday in heaven
        Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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        • #5
          Thinking of all of you out there
          Jen
          Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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          • #6
            My Mom had a miscarriage and she still mourns that loss. Thinking of you and all others who lost a baby.
            Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
            Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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            • #7
              Thinking of you and Jordan

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              • #8
                Thinking of all of our mommies (and daddies?) here who have lost babies. It's just so heartbreaking.

                Originally posted by MrsC View Post
                My Mom had a miscarriage and she still mourns that loss.
                My MIL does, too. She had two boys but miscarried in between DH and BIL. She is certain that was her little girl. They are always one of your children, no matter how short the time you had with them.
                Laurie
                My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by ladymoreta View Post
                  They are always one of your children, no matter how short the time you had with them.
                  So, unbelievably true. It is an odd feeling to say "I have no kids". However, it is easier to say than to explain otherwise.

                  People mean well, they really do. No one wakes up and says I hope today I get to remind someone about a rather tough time in their lives. They just want some common ground and kids seem to be an easy choice to find commonality.
                  Finally - we are finished with training! Hello real world!!

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                  • #10
                    Thanks for sharing ALOY.

                    Last year around this time a friend of mine shared her story for the first time on Facebook. She didn't know, but I had gone through a miscarriage in early September and her story really helped me keep faith that we would have our baby someday. (She has a healthy, now 2-year-old boy.) It was tough, but I truly believ everything happens for a reason.

                    Thanks again for sharing.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by medpedspouse View Post
                      So, unbelievably true. It is an odd feeling to say "I have no kids". However, it is easier to say than to explain otherwise.

                      People mean well, they really do. No one wakes up and says I hope today I get to remind someone about a rather tough time in their lives. They just want some common ground and kids seem to be an easy choice to find commonality.
                      I went through this a lot when I was pregnant and people asked if it was my first. You don't to be the downer who says no, but I lost that baby. But sometimes it feels like a lie when you say yes.
                      Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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