Privacy as the Doctor's Wife

[PrincessFiona]

Do you struggle with this?
Yesterday, I went to get my blood drawn. I intentionally chose the clinic farthest from the hospital/clinic where dh works. Still, I sat down in the chair and the phlebotomist asked me how to pronounce my name, giving me a lecture on the fact that a hospital physician has the same name. I was dressed like I had just cleaned the house all day, so she seemed surprised when I acknowledged he was my husband. I shouldn't have. She launched into what she knew about him and wanted to know how we met, etc.
It was so awkward. I just want my privacy! I know it's hard to come by in a smaller community ... and it is so annoying.

[Ladybug]

Blech. I'm sorry. Maybe you can change your name like phoebe on friends, princess consuela bananahammock. Makes for far more interesting convo.

[spaz]

I have no privacy here at all. Everyone knows everyone's business. Part of the reason I am so vague on here about personal details but at least I can talk honestly. No other place to do that here.

[BonBon]

We're the only people in the area with our last name, but fortunately DH is anesthesia so most people don't know who he is. BUT, there is a cardiologist with a VERY similar last name who is well known. I can't tell you how many times people have been disappointed that there's no relation. Then they proceed to tell me all about him. Like I care.

I have to say, during my hospital stay last spring, even though people knew DH and that I was his wife, they were really cool about it and just let me chill as a patient.

PS - I usually look like I just cleaned the house too!

[medpedspouse]

I would be glad they saw me in what looked like I just cleaned the house. That IS reality. Dawkters wives don't go around wearing chanel & louboutins. Someone has to crash the stereotype. That is why I love the thread of what people are wearing. Even if we can afford it, the last thing I want is to feed the stereotype more. Especially now when the ignoramus believe that the healthcare issues are because the dawkters are cashing in.

I get the being annonymous though. I do not like when people make the connection between DH and me. I especially haaaaaaate when they automatically assume that I was always in med ed and that is how I snagged myself a dawkter. (Sorry, didn't mean to hijack). Back to you...I think next time you should play dumb and be like "really, that is interesting that we share a last name - is he a nice doctor?" .

[diggitydot]

There is no anonymity here. WAY too small of a community and a pretty distinctive last name, too. I just roll with it.

[mommax3]

People are very discreet and professional here, even though we are in a relatively small community.

[ladymoreta]

I think it's more a product of living in a small town than a medical thing. I had far less privacy as a barber's kid growing up than I do as a dawkter'so wife now.

[rainbabies]

No privacy here. Sooooo small town. So, so, so small. I wear a baseball hat most of the time. I pull it down loooooow. I avoid eye contact! Lol

[alotofyarn]

I haven't had problems as the doctor's wife yet, but I have had issues with being the doctor's daughter. My dad was the chair of his department and on the board of the hospital, so most people know who he is. The worst was the time my sister saw an ob/gym in another city during college, and he asked if she was related to my dad. She was like yah, uh, and can you make sure to not pass on any details of my sex life to him?

[MrsK]

I once had my feet in stirrups and heard, "Are you DrK's wife? "

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

[rainbabies]

Omg, mrsK!!! That's HORRIBLE!!

I should add, its getting better since dh doesn't practice here anymore.

[ladymoreta]

DH and my OB/Gyn work together all the time. (It's going to be even more awkward soon because I want to change to a different doctor, so I guess DH will probably break the news to him...) My PCP and the OB/Gyn's nurse also have kids in my kids' preschool, so I see them there often. I guess this is all why HIPPA seems so weird to me, because there isn't any privacy in small towns, even when the medical professionals follow the rules.

[spotty_dog]

I love when people walk up and ask, "Did your husband tell you he saw me this week?" Um...there's this thing called HIPAA...

But I don't think DH came up at all during my last medical visit even though I'm positive my PA knew exactly whose wife I was. I think medical environments demand discretion so it's pretty inappropriate for someone in that situation to be so intrusive. "Oh, he's your husband? He's a great guy," and move on, would be the most discussion necessary. But then, I'm a west coaster at heart, leave me in my bubble please.

[alison]

Totally anonymous here! I kept my last name, and it rarely ever comes up. There are so many doctors and so many hospitals here. During my pre-op for my c-section, the OB on call asked my dh what he was doing there. . She didn't know I was his wife.