Life Before iPhones

[OrionGrad]

I was just checking Twitter, Facebook, and iMSN, texting with DH, and responding to an email all while nursing DS2 in a dark bedroom, when it dawned on me... What did we do with our time before iPhones? Or specifically, what did moms do while while they were up in the night before iPhones were created?? Did you just sit in the dark? Turn on the light and read a book? I can't imagine my life without my smartphone, and I've only had one since 2008 or 2009.

[Sheherezade]

I know they've added a lot to all of our lives. The converse is they've created a lot more to keep up with! My mom was angry at me yesterday for missing a Facebook message - she called on my landline, and said she'd tried my cell but it was off. I told her I was busy at the moment on a Skype call with my son at college. Meanwhile my daughter sent a text to my iPad. I realized at that moment how many channels of communication we've got coming in and that isn't even adding in iMSN, Twitter, Goodreads, Pinterest and Instagram. Holy moly. No wonder I feel like my head is about to explode some times!

I realize I'm pretty dependent on the technology. Maybe this is why solar chargers are on my wish list this year.


Angie

[JDAZ11]

I know they've added a lot to all of our lives. The converse is they've created a lot more to keep up with! My mom was angry at me yesterday for missing a Facebook message - she called on my landline, and said she'd tried my cell but it was off. I told her I was busy at the moment on a Skype call with my son at college. Meanwhile my daughter sent a text to my iPad. I realized at that moment how many channels of communication we've got coming in and that isn't even adding in iMSN, Twitter, Goodreads, Pinterest and Instagram. Holy moly. No wonder I feel like my head is about to explode some times!

I realize I'm pretty dependent on the technology. Maybe this is why solar chargers are on my wish list this year.


Angie

I feel this way too!

Plus, while all of this started I lived in NYC. "I was in the subway" used to be a valid excuse for a delayed response (with in reason). Since moving, I've noticed that "I'm driving" just doesn't seem to cut it - at least not in most situations. It drives me crazy. I think part of might be that the decade off from driving kind of makes me a super uptight driver. I'm not responding to your text or email at the stop light. Maybe I'll pick up the phone, but I don't like having long conversations - particularly any that have any real significance, like work phone calls - while driving in the section of the city I live in. I guess I'm just not as good as multi tasking with these two things as I should be. But I've literally had people call me for work and want to have conversations that require 100% of my attention, and would really benefit from note taking. Like no, just let me drive. I'll call you back in 15 min. If you can't wait 15 min, just do it yourself.

Sorry, not 100% on topic, but I just think that everyone expects immediate gratification with respect to communication these days. I'm not always available. Just relax and I'll call/email you back!

[Sheherezade]

Haha, I'm the same. Also must have been traumatized by a decade in NYC with no wheels. Who knew that would happen?

I unapologetically use the smug "setting a good example for my teen drivers" excuse for not answering calls or messages on the road, but secretly? I just don't wanna.


Angie

[poky]

I feel this way too!

Plus, while all of this started I lived in NYC. "I was in the subway" used to be a valid excuse for a delayed response (with in reason). Since moving, I've noticed that "I'm driving" just doesn't seem to cut it - at least not in most situations. It drives me crazy. I think part of might be that the decade off from driving kind of makes me a super uptight driver. I'm not responding to your text or email at the stop light. Maybe I'll pick up the phone, but I don't like having long conversations - particularly any that have any real significance, like work phone calls - while driving in the section of the city I live in. I guess I'm just not as good as multi tasking with these two things as I should be. But I've literally had people call me for work and want to have conversations that require 100% of my attention, and would really benefit from note taking. Like no, just let me drive. I'll call you back in 15 min. If you can't wait 15 min, just do it yourself.

Sorry, not 100% on topic, but I just think that everyone expects immediate gratification with respect to communication these days. I'm not always available. Just relax and I'll call/email you back!

HA!

This reminded me that just last night, DH called his parents, as he does most Sundays, and his mom worried that a package they'd sent to my dad had arrived on Friday, and they'd tried to call him, but gotten no answer, and it had been two days and they hadn't heard from him, so they were worried that the baked goods in the package were sitting on his porch or something.

Now, dad isn't always home, and he DOES have a cell phone, but it's a dumb phone and he doesn't always have it with him, or charged if it is with him. I know this. But...he got a package and didn't say anything for two days? And I hadn't heard from him in almost a week myself, and he's by himself in a rural area...so I tried calling. No answer. I tried his cell. No answer. I tried google hangouts (how we usually talk), but he wasn't online. Hm. I don't have his neighbor's number, so I called a friend of his he hangs out with really regularly. That friend said he'd seen him that morning, but he got on his cell, tried to call dad, then HE called dad's neighbor, who said she'd go check on him. The friend hung up with the neighbor, and I was chatting with the friend a bit, and...my google hangouts went off. It was dad. He'd been on the phone with a friend he hadn't talked to in ages, so had ignored all the phone calls earlier, but as soon as he hung up, he called me. I hung up with the friend, and a few minutes into talking with dad, there's a knock at his door, and I got to see the neighbor. Poor dad was all "I don't know what the emergency is!" Turns out he'd already eaten half of the goodies in the package. I gave him a hard time about not letting DH's parents know he'd gotten their package, and he promised to call them and thank them after we hung up.

It really wasn't an emergency, but DH's mom was worried about the cake and cookies, and it's nice to know I can call in the troops from a distance if I'm worried (I now have the neighbor's number, as well)!

[PrincessFiona]

To answer your question, yes we did sit in the dark and nurse our babies. We smelled the tops of their heads, played with their finger and thought about the day that we had had or the day that was about to start. We were able to do this without checking, checking, checking if something new had changed on FB, iMSN, or if someone had texted us. In short, we just enjoyed the moment.

That's gone. I feel like our brains have been rewired by technology ... that our attention spans are shorter and that we are often in checking, checking, checking mode. It's something that I find to be both a curse and something we can't live without.

Last night, dh and I drove the 4 hours home from the cabin. I spent the first 2 hours using my phone to help my oldest son get started on a paper for his class ... and I was talking him down because he was depressed and overwhelmed. The 3rd hour I spent playing on FB. The final hour I spent talking my adult daughter down because of her frustration with the community college she's at and her desire to move somewhere else. DH and I hardly talked...except to discuss the texts I was getting etc.

I feel like I'm always "on". My 70 year old mom is a huge texter/iphone user and she gets put off/frustrated that I don't answer the phone enough. My dad feels the same. I've had friends tell me "you never pick up.' It's not never ... it's that I sometimes still want to just be in the moment I'm in and not be interrupted by a mobile device. I still want to take a walk, go to the bathroom, or enjoy my kids without answering the beep of my phone.

Obviously, I'm a cynic about technology.

[LadyFoot]

Wait, there was life before iPhones??

Ha. I'm definitely guilty of spending way too much time checking EVERYTHING on my phone. I'm actually trying to cut back quite a bit. I deleted Facebook from my phone and am working on taking off things I can easily do on the computer so I can more easily have technology time and non-technology time.

My entire job is online and I've definitely been feeling the squeeze lately where I always have to be "on" and responding to everything instantly. Especially once the baby arrives, I'm going to want and need defined work and non-work time, so I'm trying to set up those boundaries now. It's hard!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[spotty_dog]

Back in my day, sometimes I would leave the room I was in, and go to the room where my "laptop computer" was. Then I would have to look at this screen that was fully a *foot* across, and since one-handed typing on a full keyboard was awkward, there was actually an abbreviation in many of my message boards, "nak" for "nursing at keyboard!"

But in all honesty I tried very hard not to turn on screens at night. Bad for baby's and my circadian rhythms. Anyway, I was a Lazy Mom (tm). Night nursing looked like, "Lift shirt. Roll toward baby. Doze. Unlatch baby. Roll back. Fall back to sleep."

Still ain't got no smart phones 'round here. "I don't want to be any *more* connected than I already am," is exactly the excuse I keep using for not getting one.

[OrionGrad]

To answer your question, yes we did sit in the dark and nurse our babies. We smelled the tops of their heads, played with their finger and thought about the day that we had had or the day that was about to start. We were able to do this without checking, checking, checking if something new had changed on FB, iMSN, or if someone had texted us. In short, we just enjoyed the moment.

I don't disagree with you. There are many times when I've caught myself not "being in the moment." It's definitely something I'm working on.

On the flip side, I think technology might actually be helping new moms in ways, too. For example, connecting with others people online certainly makes it less isolating when you're awake with a baby at 2 am. I'd probably feel very alone if I was home all day with two kids without any way to interact with people outside my house.

I guess what I'm saying is, I can see both sides.

[spaz]

Well, since I don't have a smart phone, I get up, put on the coffee and do my quiet time, put on a load of laundry, exercise, sometimes start a load in the dishwasher if I forgot or unload it if I remember, make a list of things I need to do today, make a list for my daughter of what she needs to do. Then I turn on my computer.... My husband REALLY wants me to get a smart phone and it scares me to death... I already spend to much time on this computer. If I just had a smart phone, I might not ever get out of bed. I think I really need to tell him thanks but no thanks.... I just don't have the power to say no...

[JDAZ11]

I don't disagree with you. There are many times when I've caught myself not "being in the moment." It's definitely something I'm working on.

On the flip side, I think technology might actually be helping new moms in ways, too. For example, connecting with others people online certainly makes it less isolating when you're awake with a baby at 2 am. I'd probably feel very alone if I was home all day with two kids without any way to interact with people outside my house.

I guess what I'm saying is, I can see both sides.

I think we all have to see both sides of it. For everything really, but I totally see your point with the new moms and feeling of isolation. I just think with the good comes a lot of bad, or just a lot of expectations. And just because someone wants to be on 24/7, doesn't mean thy should expect everyone else to be. I honestly think it's a lot like we're all "on call" now. I've told DH that I don't think the requirements of being on call really make his job all that much harder than the rest of the population any more. I will admit that the whole patient dying thing must add considerably to the stress, but that feeling that you're always expected to be reachable is just reality these days.

[gem]

I think we all have to see both sides of it. For everything really, but I totally see your point with the new moms and feeling of isolation. I just think with the good comes a lot of bad, or just a lot of expectations. And just because someone wants to be on 24/7, doesn't mean thy should expect everyone else to be. I honestly think it's a lot like we're all "on call" now. I've told DH that I don't think the requirements of being on call really make his job all that much harder than the rest of the population any more. I will admit that the whole patient dying thing must add considerably to the stress, but that feeling that you're always expected to be reachable is just reality these days.

At least the doctors know when they are on call! I'm definitely expected to check my work email around the clock, 7 days a week. And now my boss is texting me too if I don't respond to emails quickly enough. I try to answer work emails during night nursing sessions because it buys me more time in the mornings to enjoy breakfast with my kids without looking at the screen, but I'm trying to make an effort to nurse in the dark and just be present now that my baby is approaching two and I don't know how much longer we'll get to do this.

[alotofyarn]

Hubby called me the other day because I hadn't responded to several of his texts. Um, I'm driving, with our child in the car. I will respond at stoplights, but not while I'm driving. I get so angry when he does it, and I try not to text him when I know he's driving.

[JDAZ11]

Yeah, I can't imagine responding to texts with a baby in car! But I totally see people do it (my apartment is on a main road and we spend summer nights people watching and drinking wine ☺️).

And truthful, I think Siri is great, but her and I don't communicate well. Maybe it has something to do with the Bluetooth in my car, which is a little older, but some times I find dealing with her to infuriating and almost just as distracting.