Doctors and divorce - a new study

[MsSassyBaskets]

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6743032

And, go!

[WolfpackWife]

I saw this a couple of weeks ago and felt conflicted about it. In a sense, I was happy. That's great news - usually doctor's quality of life is made to sound pretty bleak as are their personal relationships. However, I know it's unique to each couple. Sometimes I really honestly ask myself: "can *I* really be happy with this lifestyle and the kind of husband it allows DH to be?" so...maybe I'm headed down the wrong path. I don't know. However, I am sticking to this current thinking: I think you can have a successful medical marriage regardless of specialty as long as your doctor spouse also wants it and is willing to work for it. That is NOT to say that there isn't lots of work to be done on the non-med spouse's part to be flexible and understanding and all that other stuff we need to be...but I think that if you want to be a great and present doctor, a great and present husband, and a great and present parent, you can be those things but the non-medical parts of your life have to be an extremely high priority - on par with your job when possible, if not possible than immediately after. I wish I could say I think family/marriage should be the first priority but I think that's setting myself up for failure.

I don't know...I hope that's a semi-true statement. You can have a happy relationship if you want it, even if you're a doctor (hell, even if you're in any profession that demands so much of your time and energy), but you have to want it and work for it. Give as much to your spouse and kids that you give to your career and patients. I feel a lot of feelings about this but none of them are ones I feel are valid until I've lived it. We've not even made it through medical school with our marriage in tact and even recently that's been just by the skin of our teeth (from a relationship standpoint that is).