Save the Date ?

[SuzySunshine]

So I have a cousin getting married on NYE - we got the save the date last week, addressed to me and DH. Does that mean the kids won't be invited? I know I need to just ask her but I don't want her to feel like we have to bring them. It will be a wedding we have to travel for. We're hoping MIL & FIL will watch them though DH says we shouldn't hold our breath. *&%%#$&^%$)

[poky]

So I have a cousin getting married on NYE - we got the save the date last week, addressed to me and DH. Does that mean the kids won't be invited? I know I need to just ask her but I don't want her to feel like we have to bring them. It will be a wedding we have to travel for. We're hoping MIL & FIL will watch them though DH says we shouldn't hold our breath. *&%%#$&^%$)

Will you be attending either way? If so, just make it abundantly clear that it's fine either way, and won't affect whether you can come or not, you just want to clarify whether the kids are invited or not. Make sure she understands you're not angling for one answer or the other, you just want to know so you can plan.

[Pollyanna]

Yes, unless the children are included on the invite they are not invited.

[MAPPLEBUM]

It kind of sounds like you'd prefer to leave the kids at home... if that's the case you could pitch it to her that way and see how she responds?

[SuzySunshine]

Well I definitely hope so - this is my cousin that has lost both of her parents in the last 5 years so its a big deal for my dad's side of the family to support her. If the IL's won't watch them and we have to take them we'll have to find a sitter at the location. Anyone know anyone in Oxford, MS?

ETA: The children were not on the Save the date - we have not received the invitation - I guess that is my question does the addressing of the Save the date hold the same etiquette as the invitation b/c I'm assuming we won't get the invitation until much closer to the wedding...

[poky]

Yes, unless the children are included on the invite they are not invited.

Except it was a save the date, not an invite, and it's possible she just didn't think about it.

You can either assume they aren't, and plan accordingly until/unless told otherwise, or you can ask (again, making it VERY clear you're fine with either answer, you just want to know).

[Pollyanna]

It's my understanding that it's still proper etiquette to only include those that will be invited on the Save the Date. Of course not everyone may follow the standard rules but I still wouldn't ask.

[JustRightKelly]

Do you have any other cousins or family with children that were invited? You could start there?


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[SoonerTexan]

Tough situation. Actually, our kids WERE invited to a wedding in August and I'm pretty sure they weren't included on the save the date, so who knows. Oxford is a college town...I'm guessing most of the sitters will be home for the holidays or out partying :/

[JDAZ11]

Save the Date ?

Honestly, I'd just ask her. It's so far in advance that I don't think she'll mind. And she will just tell you if kids aren't invited. We didn't invite kids, but so many people asked me that we hired a group babysitter. Plus, I was amazed that two people called and requested to bring guests the week of my sister's wedding. Crazy!! Just clarify in advance. She may be able to help you find a sitter if they aren't invited.


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[Howfunitis]

I would ask. I know when we did save the dates, it was addressed the same way as the invitations. So Mr so so and family or Mr and Mrs Soso


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[OrionGrad]

[MENTION=915]SuzySunshine[/MENTION], This made me think of you. http://itheedread.jezebel.com/i-don-...ake-1714974951

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

^i would lose my shit if a kid had vomited on the dance floor at my wedding. I am not that kind of person.

I think my kids are too young and yes it's annoying to pay a sitter but honestly my kids aren't fun at weddings right now. Mine are all over me and I find it stressful to keep them "in line" (I am stricter about them making noise at things like weddings than a lot of people).