Who Were You In High School?

[MrsK]

Which clique did you belong to? Are you in the same clique? If not, how have you changed?

[MrsK]

I was one of the "good girls" (surprise, surprise). My primary circle of friends were mostly daughters of immigrants (India, South Africa, Trinidad/Tobago, Cuba, Mexico) who were very sheltered. None of us were allowed to date but for one or two who were allowed to date boys their parents' approved only if chaperoned. We all were good students and not at all competitive among each other. Notwithstanding that they were all good girls, my parents withheld their approval for a long time because so few of them were Jewish -- they worried that I wouldn't meet any Jewish boys....boys that I wasn't allowed to date anyway.

For the most part, the good girl reputation follows me. I'm 40yo and people still pretend they are shocked when I swear, even people who just met me and know nothing of my past. y I'm still friends with many of the good girls from high school and, for the most part, none of us went crazy in college like everyone predicted we would. I think the most shocking rebellion was an Indian girl who was expected to go to medical school (as everyone else in her family had) and have an arranged marriage. Three years into college, she changed her major to landscape architecture and fell in love with a Christian missionary. We joke about how she "went crazy."

My secondary clique were the artsy kids, the ones who wore thrift store clothes, dyed their hair, and pierced stuff. I was in a magnet program for gifted and talented kids and I was very proficient in drawing/painting/sculpture. My mom was a high school art teacher so she understood the artsy kids and enjoyed this group. My father would not have approved and was never made aware of this circle. I'm still friends with some of these kids. Some are very accomplished writers, film makers, and artists. Others fell into drugs and still struggle to get their lives in order. I set aside any fantasy of becoming a bohemian artist-type person when I went to law school. I still have friends who are "artsy kids" and I still think they are so much cooler than I am.

The third circle of friends were the youth group kids my parents forced me to hang out with (so I'd meet those afore-mentioned Jewish boys). They were the biggest trouble makers of all and my parents were hysterical once they realized once they got me into.

[rufflesanddots]

I cannot wait to read all these!

[Vanquisher]

Who Were You In High School?

I was a floater. I didn't have a clique. I am still this way. I mingle in between lots of people. I was one of the top kids in my class (we didn't have a valedictorian), and I won a lot of academic awards. I was voted "most likely to be the first female US president." I've always been outspoken and opinionated. I was intimidating to a lot of people. I didn't mean to be. Combo of my intellect, opinions, and resting bitch face, I think. I danced competitive ballroom dance, but was only an alternate on the ballroom team. I wasn't in the "in" crowd in ANYTHING. I was peripherally involved with the nerds, jocks, theater crowd, band geeks, popular kids, etc. I wasn't Mormon, so that quickly excluded me from a lot of shit socially and in high school politics.

Once people talked to me for any length of time, though, I generally made friends, but was shy to initiate relationships. I'm opinionated, but I was also a listener. I got put on a peer counseling team because on a survey of my class, I was nominated by the most people as easiest to talk to and most understanding. Kind of a dichotomy.

To this day, everyone tells me everything. I constantly have people telling me that they've never told anyone this before, but...

People came out to me before anyone else. People told me about their abuse, their addictions, their fears, their mental illnesses. Maybe because I'm so self-deprecating? They know I won't judge? I don't know.

I was promiscuous and desperately wanted out of my parents house. People didn't know this about me, as I generally went out with guys that weren't at my school. I desperately wanted to be liked/loved and slept with guys to feel desired/like/wanted. The one time I liked a guy and told him I didn't want to have sex, he dumped me the next day. Instead of being proud of myself for not sleeping with a total douche, I was crushed and heartbroken.

I found my best friend and soul mate in high school. Still love him.

[Ladybug]

I had obnoxiously permed hair in high school. It was blond, and it stood at least 3 inches off my Texas forehead. I wore blue and gold sequins every Friday night football game, and I could literally kick my nose with my knee during our halftime performaces. I grew up with the same 30ish "advanced" kids from K to 12th grade. I still dream about them all the time. LOL. DH moved every couple of years because his dad worked for an oil business. He's a spiritual nomad. He doesn't keep in touch with anyone. We've had such different life experiences.

My hair is not permed anymore, but I value the depth of relationships and experiences that I grew up with. I hope for the same for our kids.

[MAPPLEBUM]

I had obnoxiously permed hair in high school. It was blond, and it stood at least 3 inches off my Texas forehead. I wore blue and gold sequins every Friday night football game, and I could literally kick my nose with my knee during our halftime performaces. I grew up with the same 30ish "advanced" kids from K to 12th grade. I still dream about them all the time. LOL. DH moved every couple of years because his dad worked for an oil business. He's a spiritual nomad. He doesn't keep in touch with anyone. We've had such different life experiences.

My hair is not permed anymore, but I value the depth of relationships and experiences that I grew up with. I hope for the same for our kids.

Must send pic!!!

[Michele]

I was in the nerd clique (IB program), but also on the sidelines of the jock clique because I was in 4 sports (soccer, softball, cross country and track) and the band clique (many of my friends were in it and then I marched senior year).

I'm still just a nerd and on the fringes of social groups.

[ladymoreta]

I was pretty solidly in the middle of popularity - nowhere near popular or fringe groups, but unnoticed or liked by most of the kids. I think I was mostly pretty invisible. I was a band nerd and in the honors program, so most of my classes were with the same people.

[alotofyarn]

I never really felt like my school had one single popular crowd - it was an all girls Catholic school. Everybody had their group of people. I was on the good kid, nerdy side for sure, although my boyfriend for parts of freshman-junior years was a bit of a bad boy, too smart for the rules, idiot kind of guy. I got back involved with church after he and I broke up, but I was one of the few non-Catholics, and people knew that. I was in the top 10% of my class academically, took all honors classes, was on student council and in other various clubs, and was class treasurer my senior year. I wanted to be a surgeon or a forensic pathologist, and I was a big computer nerd. For my senior anatomy project, we had to get an animal and dissect it down to the bones and display it, and I got a monkey from the local primate center, so that was sort of a big deal. I wasn't a suck up though, and some of my teachers didn't like me because I could get away with good grades and not paying attention. My senior year especially, I was completely over living in the New Orleans area, hated partying and drinking, and couldn't wait to get away and go to Baylor. My twin sister was also in school with me, and we were SUPER different, so that made things a bit more challenging.

[diggitydot]

I attended an INCREDIBLY small school and while there were definitely cliques, it was common for people to have friends from lots of different groups.

Most of my friends in middle school became partying stoners in HS. That wasn't my thing, so we drifted apart by senior year. I ended up having most in common with other people who played on my sports teams and were in band with me.

I was definitely a snarky misanthrope even then. Some things just don't change much.

I now have almost nothing in common with 98% of the people I grew up with. I used to have nothing in common with probably 90% of them. It was not fun growing up in hillbilly hell as a grunge/alternative music kid.

[rufflesanddots]

High school... Not the best four years of my life.

I was pretty awkward. Like any of you I floated between different groups. I was on the color guard and winter guard all four years, and captain for junior and senior years. I loved competing and performing, but I never totally jived with my teammates. They were mostly military kids and I wasn't. I was bullied by them my first couple years. I remember begging my mom to let me switch schools. After a year I developed a back bone and also became the best one on the team (SUCK IT, BIATCHES!), so it was less hellish. I still choreograph routines in my head and I wish I'd continued marching in college and after.

Outside of that I was somewhat nerdy. I was very much a rule follower and people-pleaser, so even if I wasn't doing great in a class (ugh, math) I always got along with my teachers. I was in advanced and AP courses, so knew all those kids, but wasn't a "jock" so I didn't get super close to many of them. I met my high school best friend in 10th grade journalism and we went on to run the newspaper by our senior year. That was pretty cool. I loved my English and History courses so much. Math was (and is) so difficult for me. I think I have a math related learning disability.

So, my social circles were guard girls, band geeks, drummers, AP kids, journalism kids, and military brats. I had some bullies until the end. My brother had special needs, and though he wasn't at my high school he was well known in the community. One of my bullies (who also was an ass to my brother) now tries to live off the grid and pretends he's somehow transcended society. Another was in a terrible car accident and suffered a TBI and will never be independent. I still hate those guys. I've kept in touch with a small group of people, but don't feel compelled to go to reunions.

I had my moments of enjoyment (my good friends were so, so funny), but high school was a tough time. I definitely was depressed and very uncomfortable in my own skin. My parents sent me to therapy for a while but it didn't really help since I viewed it as a punishment and not a resource. I was nice to everyone, but never felt like I 100% belonged to any group. Looking back, I think that helped me become the person I am today--I can find common ground with almost anyone, and people tell me stuff all. the. time. I think I also have "resting nice face."

I did well enough to get into the UC system, which is all I cared about then. Looking back, I wish I'd just gone to CSUN and gotten a degree in Deaf studies so I could have been an ASL interpreter like I'd dreamed about. I had a knack for signing and loved going to Deaf events. I fell hook, line, and sinker for the ~*~*UC*~*~ name, though. C'est la vie. I was very, very happy to leave high school. One of my goals as a parent will be to work with my kids to solve their problems instead of telling them to just get over it, which is what my parents essentially did. They had great intentions, but it didn't really help me out.